This actually isn't good! Phones only show you horrors when they're VERY DEPRESSED, or at any other time

#1582; Limit Your Scream Time

  — February 12th, 2026

[ Tags: , , ]       Permalink: https://wondermark.com/c/1582/

[ 💬 Comment thread on Discord ]

Buy a Print

Abe Lincoln is sad

Because his shirt is closing out. The current print run of this one will be its last! The last shirt I closed out — Ninja on a Unicycle — sold out of its common sizes very quickly, so if you’ve had your eye on ol’ Honest Laser-Vision Abe, now’s your chance. Also don’t forget to read his backstory: Part 1 / Part 2

OTHER NEWS! Here’s a video interview with me conducted by rgbfilter, shot at the Toronto Comic Art Festival this year:

I talk about beards. I talk about matter transportation. I talk about my hoard of old books. Beyond that it’s a little hazy.

MOVING ON. Here’s an interview with me in Quail Bell Magazine, which is “a magazine dedicated to fantasy, fairytales, and magical realism, as well as related fields in Medieval and Victorian studies.” They asked me about fairy tales! I never knew I had a position on fairy tales, until I was asked:

I’m trying to think of some way that I can retroactively recontextualize the entirety of Wondermark as one enormously elaborate interweaving fairy tale. I could probably do it if it wasn’t for that 40-strip run in which I methodically and exhaustively disclaimed the existence of pixies in the Wondermark universe. I guess we all have to learn to live with our mistakes.

Speaking of ink (were we?) — here’s some tattoos some people have gotten of Wondermark characters. Daniel’s reads “How Much More Art Can U Take?”

…Based, of course, on the protagonist of Comic #013 and the Russian Elephant shirt. And Denis, a photographer, offers this version, “The Revolution Will Not Be Digitized”:

…Based, of course, on Hobart from my The Revolution Will Not Be Telegraphed shirt. You know, in my travels this year, I have had probably a dozen people come up and tell me that the Revolution shirt is the most comfortable garment they own. It’s 50/50 cotton/polyester and it’s super-duper soft. You will want to snuggle it.

REVIEW! Cory at Boing Boing really loved my latest book, Dapper Caps & Pedal-Copters:

…Apart from being a doubtless royal pain in the ass to typeset, Dapper Caps is just plain wonderful. Malki adds a bunch of original prose to accompany the strips, some of it screamingly funny (I literally snarfed water out my nose at the stuff on p.17). It’s just the perfect thing to settle down with on a summer Sunday and point out to your slightly puzzled loved ones.

Such a kind review! Thanks very much, Cory. Slightly-puzzled loved ones the world over thank you as well.

Thanks as well for your thoughtful votes and responses to this week’s query. I think I know what I will be doing, but I have to mull it over a bit yet. Here’s the kind of thing you might see in a hypothetical collection of Malki miscellany — a detail view of Comic #634:

Because I like looking at things big.

Works-in-progress survey

At any given time, I’m working on a half-dozen different projects: making comics, of course; designing books; hashing out ideas for prints or posters or shirts or what-have-you; and often, creating logos and layouts for stuff that may not see the light of day for months, if ever. Sometimes I get a little antsy and post previews or sneak-peeks on my Twitter, but that’s very limited in its scope, and I’d like to share more, and in different ways.

However, I am also very sensitive to the fact that you come here to read comics (with the occasional other nonsense), and you may not want half-complete junk-in-progress, or long chunks of prose, or stuff wholly unrelated to Wondermark in your feed reader or email inbox. Personally, I’m in favor of littering this site with everything I do, but this site doesn’t just belong to me anymore; it belongs to you too. So I’d like to ask your opinion — where should I put miscellaneous stuff? We’re talking half-finished comics. We’re talking chapters from novels, potentially. We’re talking sketches and designs and journal-type entries and probably stuff related to Tweet Me Harder and other projects. I figure there are three options:

Keep it at Wondermark. I’m a big believer in not fragmenting one’s online presence more than necessary, and Wondermark is potentially a broad enough umbrella to encompass everything I do. Besides, you could just ignore the stuff you don’t want to read.

Move it offsite. I’d probably start a Tumblr and start posting over there. That has an advantage in that I wouldn’t feel self-conscious about posting non-comics-related stuff there, but I’d hate for that to be so separate from Wondermark that nobody bothered to visit.

Move it offsite, but post a weekly digest on Wondermark. I’d put all the nonsense on the other site, but on Wondermark there’d be one post a week (if that) listing the highlights. So you’d still stay abreast of any cool stuff over there, but if you were only subscribed to Wondermark it wouldn’t be tons of posts in your feed reader or email.

Here’s a poll!

Or, if you have other ideas, leave me a comment. Thanks for your feedback!

Watch the livestream from Portland!

If you’re able to come to my free signing/performance in Portland on Wednesday the 23rd, I hope to see you there! But if not, you can also tune into the video livestream of our comedy show starting at 7:30 PM Pacific. (That’s tomorrow! Or maybe tonight, depending on when you read this. Or, you know, maybe yesterday.) You can also follow @tweethard for timely reminders of this sort of thing.

The streaming window will pop up at tweetmeharder.com right before the show. UPDATE: Tumblr is being cranky, but here is another link. The show normally runs about an hour, and it’ll be recorded for later viewing as well. HOORAY

Happily Ever After, Even Now

Movies in which couples overcome various misunderstandings to eventually hug and kiss as the credits roll ask us to believe that their characters will be together forever.

So I got to thinking: assuming that the couples who get together at the end of movies stay together into the foreseeable future, what must they look like now? Surely they are still together, making coffee in the mornings, shuffling children off to this activity or that, taking trips to see plays and figuring out new digital cameras on the occasional Alaskan cruise.

I present the following as aids to your imagination, helping you to picture the lives of these fictional characters extended out ten, twenty, thirty years until the strange story of their first, accidental meeting is family legend retold every Thanksgiving to the grandchildren: “You know I used to fly Tomcats in the Navy — well, one day, Grandma waltzed into my classroom at Miramar, and I about flipped my lid. I told her about a MiG I’d seen recently, and she tried to freeze me out. And then I played volleyball for a while with Uncle Iceman.”

Just added: PORTLAND & L.A. signings!

I was hoping this would all come together, and it has! Hooray! I’ll be coming to Portland, Oregon next week — Wednesday, June 23rd — for a combination book signing and comedy performance of Tweet Me Harder. I was bummed that I wasn’t able to make it to the Stumptown Comics Fest this year, but I’m pleased that I’ll be able to come to Portland after all. I’ll be bringing a small set of Wondermark books and the usual paraphernalia, as well as the new Tweet Me Harder book I’ve written with Kris Straub. And Kris and I will be taking the stage to spin wild, hilarious yarns as part of the festivities of the evening! PLUS there will be many other famous cartoonists there such as Octopus Meredith, Dresden A. Diaz and Erika Moen. YOU SHOULD COME.

Folks have been telling me recently, “David, I hear you keep talking about Tweet Me Harder, but I am not sure that I am interested. I don’t tweet, I can’t bother to tune in live when you do your show, I’m not even quite sure what it is, I don’t have the stomach for podcasts and I’m not fond of you personally.” I’m happy to clarify:

You don’t have to use Twitter to enjoy TMH. It’s just a way that people can interact with the show! Sort of like the callers on a talk radio show. But I’d say that 95% of the TMH listener base has never tweeted to us. That’s fine!

You don’t have to listen live. It’s a podcast! You can subscribe on iTunes and listen to the recorded shows. Again, I’d say the vast majority of people — certainly over 90% — listen to the recorded shows after the fact. DO EET

It is a comedy talk show. Kris and I solve all the world’s problems, every week, for an hour. It will improve your life immeasurably.

You don’t even have to listen to enjoy the show — that’s what the book is for! And you can ignore that this book is a Tweet Me Harder book. Just consider it a comedy book written by me! If you like the voice behind Wondermark, give TMH a try. IN FACT — here is a free chapter from the book so you can see if it’s something you might enjoy more of. KAPOW.

If you are not fond of me personally, I don’t know that we have a lot of common ground to stand on! Perhaps we should ask a mutual friend for advice on how to move forward with our relationship? I think it will just take time, and good intentions, and having some real quality experiences together. Hence the party on Wednesday.

“David, I like Wondermark, but I’ve tried TMH and I hate it.” Well, okay. I’d argue that you may have tripped over a bum episode in a bad mood, but fine. I beg your indulgence, now and in the future, because I will continue to prattle about it. I am very proud of what Kris and I are doing, and we keep getting better.

SO — book signing, Portland, June 23rd! The open house starts at 6PM and the TMH performance will be about 7:30. The address is 1515 SE 46th Ave, 97215, or here is a Facebook thing. Hope to see you there!

ALSO: BONUS LOS ANGELES SIGNINGS:

The Devastator, the humor anthology you kindly contributed to, is being released next week! I will be attending the release party at Meltdown Comics on Saturday, June 26th and signing copies of the book. I don’t know that I’ll have Wondermark stuff with me, but I will certainly have smiles! And what the heck, I will give away free sketches to anyone who attends.

I will have Wondermark stuff at a signing at Secret Headquarters on July 15! More info to come on this one, but both this and the Portland appearance will be in conjunction with Meredith Gran’s nationwide tour for the release of her new Octopus Pie collection, There Are No Stars in Brooklyn.

LET’S MAKE IT HAPPEN


Recent blog posts