These caption contests have been super-fun to read, and very, very difficult to judge! Thanks to everyone who submitted — this time around I received around 650 suggested captions for the below image. Common themes included “it was this big” references; fish puns of every nature; fashion discussions (“that hat does not go with those boots!” and “Does this make my butt (or ‘my bass’) look big?”; attention called to the open drawer; butler/fancy lady interactions; references to Darwin and evolution; and long Dickensian dialogues.

For maximum hilarity — after reading each one, glance back up at the blank image to clear your palate! With a list like this, they really only work if you take them one at a time. Reading in quick sequence just turns the whole list to nonsense in your mind. AND THIS IS SERIOUS BUSINESS :[

HONORABLE MENTIONS

“Excuse me, I should have knocked.” — Daniel Hulme

“Would M’sieur now like to see our shawls?” — Giles Cresswell

‎”Well ONE of us is going to have to change!” — James Michael Spoonhour II

“I see… And what was your third wish?” — Uri Cohen

“It seems, Mildred, there was a problem with the incantation.” — Noelle Reed

“Is it midnight already? Darn it!” — Divya Tyam

“Why, you’re the spitting image of your mother!” — Thea Evenstad

“Good lord — Edmund! But if you’re here, then who has Sybil just married?” — Paul Jones

“Please tell me you’re using a coaster!” — Bob Heatherington

“Sigh…You’ve been on the internet again, haven’t you?” — Aidan Healy

“YOU’RE Abe Froman? The Sausage KING of Chicago?” — Ned Keitt-Pride

‎”Quickly, honey, fetch the camera! Our baby’s walking!” — Conor Byworth

“You idiot, I’ve been looking all over for those!” — Quinn Colter

“The people are calling for their queen. What should I tell them?” — Julie Charlotte Mikachu Chen

‎”Goodness me! Madam, have you seen a man-eating fish?” — Jason Batchklopf

“No, I don’t think we should open any of the other drawers.” — Linden Malki

‎”Lady Gaga? What are you doing on my writing desk?” — Evan Yeong

“It’s not you, it’s me.” — Billy Faithfull

After realizing that one of the tough things about Caption Contest #2 was that it was unclear which character was talking, I tried to make it more obvious this time around. The fish’s mouth is closed, and the guy’s making an animated gesture. Still, there were plenty of funny captions in which the fish is the speaker:

“‎This is who I am, Dad.” — Sean Willett

“Can’t I just look pretty on my big day?” — David Brown

“It’s no longer Herring, Phillip. It’s Herriet.” — Travis Cody Fischer

“Believe it or not, Lord Tuffington, your beloved Russian paramour is none other than I, Detective Richard Fishman!” — Alex K. Rich

‎”I thought you knew what you signed up for, Philip.” — Molly Price

‎”I found the love letters, Donald. I’ll send for my things.” — Kathleen Ruhl

“20 bucks. Same as in town.” — Shawn LeBlanc

I also received a couple of captions that were taken from other sources. Mark Snegg contributed the following:

“He received me very courteously; but, it must be confessed that his apartment, and furniture, and morning dress were sufficiently uncouth.” — quote from James Boswell, describing his first visit to Dr. Samuel Johnson

And Sean Kleefeld wrote, “I’m just going to swipe some dialogue from today’s ‘Garfield’ for my caption entry: ‘Look who’s talking, fatso.’ ”

This is a tremendous idea, and I think all future caption contests should include the “what did ‘Garfield’ say today” feature as well.

AND NOW…

…a reminder that I’ll be at the San Diego Comic-Con all this week and weekend! Look for me at the TopatoCo booth, #1229. It’s an easy booth to remember: just think “1-2-3-4” and go there. We’re right within a few yards of booth #1234.

AND NOW

THE WINNER

…very nearly was:

“Oh for heaven’s sake, it’s only a mouse.” — Molly Price

Which is hilarious! (As were all of Molly’s entries.)

But I tried to picture this cartoon, with caption, in a book or magazine or someplace where nobody knew it was a caption contest. The best caption would be dry, taking the absurdity in stride, but also in some way acknowledging the strange element.

So here’s my favorite, FOR REAL

Congratulations to Taylor Noll! Taylor wins a signed print of this comic with the caption rendered CANON.

Check out many more funny contest entries on the Wondermark Facebook page, and keep them knives a-sharpenin’ for the next caption contest!