Caption Contest #4 WINNERS!

Thanks to everyone who entered our latest caption contest! I had a lot of fun reading all the entries, and it was very hard to choose winners, as is always the way of these things. For future reference, the captions were entered on the Wondermark Facebook page, and there were also some in the comments on this post.

Common themes this time around included: the dromedary as stork delivering a baby; puns on “animal magnetism” or “attraction”; mentions of Insane Clown Posse (“magnets, how do they work?”); references to Camel cigarettes or “Arabian” things like shawarma; proverbs about passing through the eyes of needles; instructions to plant the child at some specific spot in the garden; robots; and long Dickensian dialogues.

That all being said, please enjoy some, in no particular order,



“Mabel had a knack for getting out of her chores.”—Graham Bird

“I’ve told you before! Milkshakes bring boys to the yard.”—Gedbury of Slacks Creek

“I’m terribly sorry madam, sometimes the stork delivers the wrong ones. Thank you for keeping the receipt.”—David Ault

“Back off, Ermengarde, I got this.”—Francis Heaney

“I hate the packaging on these things.”—Pan Outeast

“Stand back, Helen! The bastard still has my ball bearings and I’ve finally got him right where I want him!”—Chuck Jordan

“Is that my good magnet? Are you using my good magnet again?!”—Erik Deckers

“Its budget dwindling rapidly, the BBC production of Moby Dick was forced into increasing levels of abstraction.”—Jorpho

“Dammit, woman, don’t try to stop me! This is science!”—Kristan Wheaton

“My real dad lets me play with magnets whenever I want!”—Alex S.

“And with Mother’s return, the situation went from bad to worse.”—Collin Voyles

“Technical foul. Lose one quarter furlong.”—Doug Zimmer

“Get in the car. No time to explain.”—Shawn LeBlanc

“Wait! I want to change my vote!”—David Tresner-Kirsch

“The view from here is much improv’d:
It is two-toed, not cloven-hooved!”—Pan Outeast


…A reminder! Last caption contest, we instituted a rule that we would ALSO consider, as an exhibition entry, a line of dialogue from the current “Garfield”. Which, for the day the contest ended (July 12th), gives us:

“How’s the summer treating you?”

[Hold for polite applause.]

Now, without further ado, or distracting reminders to
come visit me at the San Diego Comic-Con this week, at booth #1229…


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Caption Contest #4 now open!



Let’s do another caption contest! It’s been a while since the last one.

The overall winner of this contest will get an autographed print of this image with your caption rendered CANON. Update: This is over now! Here are the winners!

And, new this time, I’ll also award the Achievement Card below to all winners and honorable mentions! Participating in this contest will be the only way to get this particular Cast Card, which will be Card #12.

off balance for life

You can enter by leaving a comment on this post or leaving a comment on the corresponding post on the Wondermark Facebook page (where I also post the new comics each update). Please don’t duplicate the same comment in both places.

Single sentence captions are best, and you probably won’t get far with anything too vulgar or profane. Enter as many times as you like between now and midnight Pacific on Tuesday, July 12.

Also, just for fun AND/OR your own research and reference into the sorts of things I and my crack team of judges find funny, here are the archived results of our previous caption contests.

Good luck!!

Caption Contest #3 WINNERS!

These caption contests have been super-fun to read, and very, very difficult to judge! Thanks to everyone who submitted — this time around I received around 650 suggested captions for the below image. Common themes included “it was this big” references; fish puns of every nature; fashion discussions (“that hat does not go with those boots!” and “Does this make my butt (or ‘my bass’) look big?”; attention called to the open drawer; butler/fancy lady interactions; references to Darwin and evolution; and long Dickensian dialogues.

For maximum hilarity — after reading each one, glance back up at the blank image to clear your palate! With a list like this, they really only work if you take them one at a time. Reading in quick sequence just turns the whole list to nonsense in your mind. AND THIS IS SERIOUS BUSINESS :[


“Excuse me, I should have knocked.” — Daniel Hulme

“Would M’sieur now like to see our shawls?” — Giles Cresswell

‎”Well ONE of us is going to have to change!” — James Michael Spoonhour II

“I see… And what was your third wish?” — Uri Cohen

“It seems, Mildred, there was a problem with the incantation.” — Noelle Reed

“Is it midnight already? Darn it!” — Divya Tyam

“Why, you’re the spitting image of your mother!” — Thea Evenstad

“Good lord — Edmund! But if you’re here, then who has Sybil just married?” — Paul Jones

“Please tell me you’re using a coaster!” — Bob Heatherington

“Sigh…You’ve been on the internet again, haven’t you?” — Aidan Healy

“YOU’RE Abe Froman? The Sausage KING of Chicago?” — Ned Keitt-Pride

‎”Quickly, honey, fetch the camera! Our baby’s walking!” — Conor Byworth

“You idiot, I’ve been looking all over for those!” — Quinn Colter

“The people are calling for their queen. What should I tell them?” — Julie Charlotte Mikachu Chen

‎”Goodness me! Madam, have you seen a man-eating fish?” — Jason Batchklopf

“No, I don’t think we should open any of the other drawers.” — Linden Malki

‎”Lady Gaga? What are you doing on my writing desk?” — Evan Yeong

“It’s not you, it’s me.” — Billy Faithfull

After realizing that one of the tough things about Caption Contest #2 was that it was unclear which character was talking, I tried to make it more obvious this time around. The fish’s mouth is closed, and the guy’s making an animated gesture. Still, there were plenty of funny captions in which the fish is the speaker:

“‎This is who I am, Dad.” — Sean Willett

“Can’t I just look pretty on my big day?” — David Brown

“It’s no longer Herring, Phillip. It’s Herriet.” — Travis Cody Fischer

“Believe it or not, Lord Tuffington, your beloved Russian paramour is none other than I, Detective Richard Fishman!” — Alex K. Rich

‎”I thought you knew what you signed up for, Philip.” — Molly Price

‎”I found the love letters, Donald. I’ll send for my things.” — Kathleen Ruhl

“20 bucks. Same as in town.” — Shawn LeBlanc

I also received a couple of captions that were taken from other sources. Mark Snegg contributed the following:

“He received me very courteously; but, it must be confessed that his apartment, and furniture, and morning dress were sufficiently uncouth.” — quote from James Boswell, describing his first visit to Dr. Samuel Johnson

And Sean Kleefeld wrote, “I’m just going to swipe some dialogue from today’s ‘Garfield’ for my caption entry: ‘Look who’s talking, fatso.’ ”

This is a tremendous idea, and I think all future caption contests should include the “what did ‘Garfield’ say today” feature as well.


…a reminder that I’ll be at the San Diego Comic-Con all this week and weekend! Look for me at the TopatoCo booth, #1229. It’s an easy booth to remember: just think “1-2-3-4” and go there. We’re right within a few yards of booth #1234.



…very nearly was:

“Oh for heaven’s sake, it’s only a mouse.” — Molly Price

Which is hilarious! (As were all of Molly’s entries.)

But I tried to picture this cartoon, with caption, in a book or magazine or someplace where nobody knew it was a caption contest. The best caption would be dry, taking the absurdity in stride, but also in some way acknowledging the strange element.

So here’s my favorite, FOR REAL

Congratulations to Taylor Noll! Taylor wins a signed print of this comic with the caption rendered CANON.

Check out many more funny contest entries on the Wondermark Facebook page, and keep them knives a-sharpenin’ for the next caption contest!

Wondermark Caption Contest #3!

It’s time again for a caption contest! Come up with your best suggested caption for the above image, and post it on the Wondermark Facebook page (or just click on over to read the other entries)! The author of my favorite caption will win a personalized print of the comic with his or her caption rendered CANON.

OR, if you’d prefer to keep your entries SECRET from Mark Zuckerberg and his army of mafia hitmen and farm animals, you can email your caption(s) to me: dave at wondermark dot com, subject: “Caption Contest #3”.

Enter as many times as you like! The deadline is midnight Pacific time, Wednesday July 6th.

Also check out our previous caption contests for even more laffs

Caption Contest #2 WINNERS!

This time around I received nearly 800 entries! Wowsers! I took a few extra days to read them all, but here are my favorites. You can read almost 600 of them on the Wondermark Facebook page; the rest I received via email. This one was an interesting challenge because it wasn’t immediately obvious which character was talking — but the best captions made it clear at once. Common themes included: lovers’ spats; Iron Man quotes; snark about airlines; pooping-from-aloft jokes; pollution and plaid-pants references in equal measure; and long Dickensian dialogues.

There were a lot more good ones I don’t have room for, but without further ado here are some


“Augh! Why do they always go right through the crosswalk on this corner!” — Matt Perkins

“It wasn’t unusual on a Tuesday morning for Randy to simultaneously violate his restraining order, Venezuelan air space and the laws of physics.” — Dean White

“We never just talk anymore.” — Dave Miller

“With that kind of attitude, no wonder you’re going extinct.” — Christopher Halsey

“I suggest you re-read the non-compete clause.” — Marc Gabriele

“Well, the tonsils look fine. I wouldn’t charge you, but I had to build this thing specifically for this house call.” — Stacy Carson

“Good day Mr Featherbottom. I have called to enquire as to whether you are heretofore content with your long-distance telegraph provider.” — Rebecca Payne

“Cab for Mr Howl?” — Stuart Shelley

“OK, you were right. This trampoline is awesome.” — Alex K. Rich

“A machine to roll along the ground? It’ll never work!” — Bryan O’Leary

“I’m on my way down now, any advice?” — Adam Luter

“Still using the training wheels, eh?” — Patrick Lynch

“…And then I thought, ‘Well, I bet the wings weigh a lot.'” — Thomas Hicks

Now! The grand prize winner is:

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