Comic Transcripts

[[A banner states: TEN UNASSAILABLE REASONS TO SELL YOUR CAR AND GET A BOAT INSTEAD. A boat captain emphatically shouts about boats.]]
Captain: Number one! Boats can float!
Captain: Number two! Boats will never get a flat tire and strand you on the highway!

Captain: Number three! Being in charge of a boat makes you a captain!
Captain: Number four! Boats can be tall!

Captain: Number five! Cars eat too much!
Captain: Number six! Cars are a problem!
Captain: Number seven! Boats rule! Cars drool! In a metaphorical fashion OR for real if there is a radiator leak in the car!

[[A bystander interjects.]]
Bystander: This is GREAT so far but I need your ASSURANCE that you are going to illustrate each point with an unattributed photo found on Google Image Search.
Captain: Number eight! A BOAT is wet on PURPOSE!

{{header: sail away at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: Number nine! Everybody like a boat!! Number ten! I’m on a boat!!! (OLD SPICE)}}

#1018; The Benefits of a Boat transcribed by in

[[A banner states: TEN UNASSAILABLE REASONS TO SELL YOUR CAR AND GET A BOAT INSTEAD. A boat captain emphatically shouts about boats.]]
Captain: Number one! Boats can float!
Captain: Number two! Boats will never get a flat tire and strand you on the highway!

Captain: Number three! Being in charge of a boat makes you a captain!
Captain: Number four! Boats can be tall!

Captain: Number five! Cars eat too much!
Captain: Number six! Cars are a problem!
Captain: Number seven! Boats rule! Cars drool! In a metaphorical fashion OR for real if there is a radiator leak in the car!

[[A bystander interjects.]]
Bystander: This is GREAT so far but I need your ASSURANCE that you are going to illustrate each point with an unattributed photo found on Google Image Search.
Captain: Number eight! A BOAT is wet on PURPOSE!

{{header: sail away at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: Number nine! Everybody like a boat!! Number ten! I'm on a boat!!! (OLD SPICE)}}

Number nine! Everybody like a boat!! Number ten! I'm on a boat!!! (OLD SPICE)

Applications open for Genius Northwest – an IRL gaming competition

Last year, I participated in Genius Northwest, a gaming competition inspired by the Korean gameshow The Genius and its ilk.

It’s a reality show without the cameras — a 3-day, all-inclusive weekend retreat structured around a series of challenges and puzzles, in which personalities and dealmaking matter as much as playing games.

It’s truly a remarkable thing. I came in dead last in the competition, but I still had a great time participating.

The event is held annually in the Pacific Northwest (hence the name) and applications are now open to participate in the 2026 competition!

Learn more — and apply — at GeniusNW.com.


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