Comic Transcripts

Two men are chatting in an office. The first man, CHILTRED, dressed in an elaborate military uniform, is twirling his moustache, and continues to do so throughout the exchange, without pause.

CHILTRED: I heard this great joke earlier. What WAS it? AARRGH!! I can’t remember! Something about dogs and ducks. DANGIT!! It was really funny. Now it’s GONE.

PERMBLEY (the other man, seated): Is the distress you’re feeling now greater than the joy the joke gave you originally?

CHILTRED: Oh, enormously.

PERMBLEY: So the EXISTENCE of this joke has been a NET LOSS for you! Don’t REGRET its disappearance! RUE that it ever appeared! CURSE ITS MEMORY!!

CHILTRED: I don’t HAVE its memory!

PERMBLEY: It has inflicted a joke-shaped SCAR on your psyche! FIE ON YOU, sinister dog joke! NEVER AGAIN dare to darken my dear friend’s skull!

CHILTRED: WAIT. I remembered it.

PERMBLEY: NOPE! Don’t you DARE!!

CHILTRED: It’s not the JOKE’S fault I forgot it! It’s innocent!

PERMBLEY: I will never be able to separate it from the trauma it has inflicted!

CHILTRED: That starts to sound like a YOU problem.

PERMBLEY: Wow. WOW. After I DEFENDED you.

CHILTRED: I did not INTEND to spend an APPARENTLY-CONDITIONAL friend defense on a JOKE about DOGS and DUCKS

#1572; In which a Joke is disowned transcribed by in

Two men are chatting in an office. The first man, CHILTRED, dressed in an elaborate military uniform, is twirling his moustache, and continues to do so throughout the exchange, without pause.

CHILTRED: I heard this great joke earlier. What WAS it? AARRGH!! I can't remember! Something about dogs and ducks. DANGIT!! It was really funny. Now it's GONE.

PERMBLEY (the other man, seated): Is the distress you're feeling now greater than the joy the joke gave you originally?

CHILTRED: Oh, enormously.

PERMBLEY: So the EXISTENCE of this joke has been a NET LOSS for you! Don't REGRET its disappearance! RUE that it ever appeared! CURSE ITS MEMORY!!

CHILTRED: I don't HAVE its memory!

PERMBLEY: It has inflicted a joke-shaped SCAR on your psyche! FIE ON YOU, sinister dog joke! NEVER AGAIN dare to darken my dear friend's skull!

CHILTRED: WAIT. I remembered it.

PERMBLEY: NOPE! Don't you DARE!!

CHILTRED: It's not the JOKE'S fault I forgot it! It's innocent!

PERMBLEY: I will never be able to separate it from the trauma it has inflicted!

CHILTRED: That starts to sound like a YOU problem.

PERMBLEY: Wow. WOW. After I DEFENDED you.

CHILTRED: I did not INTEND to spend an APPARENTLY-CONDITIONAL friend defense on a JOKE about DOGS and DUCKS

I took my dog to the duck pond. It caused a huge problem. I should have anticipated it....after all, he's pure-bread.

Bolted! Fulfillment Update

Photo courtesy of backer Nicola!

The vast majority of Bolted! game shipments are already shipped, but I understand if you don’t have yours yet, who cares. Here’s a progress report:

Total orders | 1052
Surveys completed | 992
Fully shipped | 946

Incomplete surveys

Obviously, if I don’t have your shipping address, I can’t ship your game! Let me know if you are missing a survey link. As new responses come in, they are rapidly added to the shipping queue.

Orders containing certain add-ons

Some of the add-ons proved more popular than expected — which is lovely! But it meant I had to reprint some stickers, make all the individual comic prints, request a shipment of books from offsite storage, etc, etc. So, any orders which contain an out-of-stock item are still waiting to ship.

All that missing stuff, though, is en route to me at this very second! So those orders will be going out pretty dang soon!

Custom items

I’ve already been in touch directly with the backers who ordered custom collages! Those will be created (and sent to you) after all the other shipments are complete. I’m excited for those, they’ll be fun! My pleasant dessert after the hearty meal of all the other orders.

Anything wrong?

I’m very grateful to the few folks who’ve contacted me to report some kind of issue with their shipment! Thankfully, problems are rare, but when they do occur, I would like to solve them. Please don’t hesitate to send me an email (replying to your shipping confirmation works great) if there’s anything about your order I can correct.

Reviews & photos

On BoardGameGeek are highly appreciated!

Unless you hate the game! You are entitled to that opinion, but please send that review directly to me instead of telling anyone else, so I can eat it and bury it in the yard and watch it grow into a twisted, gnarled tree. Or whatever!


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