#651; Those Volatile Menu Options

Comic Transcripts

[[IGNACIO is listening to the phone.]]
VOICEMAIL: Your call is very important to us. Please listen carefully, as our menu options have recently changed. For billing, press one. For sales, press two. For technical support, press pi.

VOICEMAIL: If you know your party’s extension, you may dial it in reverse order using your touch-tone phone. To access a company directory, please hold your phone receiver over a stove and watch the patterns the steam makes when viewed against a dark background.

VOICEMAIL: To report a lost or stolen card, twist the receiver in opposite directions with both hands. Have a resealable glass container nearby to catch the liquid that emerges from the earpiece. In a dark, quiet room, press your face against the mouth of the container and tell the liquid exactly what happened to your card. Vivid memories are best. The good times your card enabled you to have. Tell it all this, and seal it.

VOICEMAIL: Let the liquid harden into a gel in a cool cupboard In seven to ten days, you will receive a packet of seeds. Plant the seeds in the gel in the shape of a regular heptagon.
IGNACIO [[looking nervous, thinks]]: Man, these options have changed

{{alt-text: Your replacement card will come in the mail. The seeds are just to keep you occupied. They are actually just sand. We will bill the card we are sending for the sand.}}

#651; Those Volatile Menu Options transcribed by in

{{alt-text: Your replacement card will come in the mail. The seeds are just to keep you occupied. They are actually just sand. We will bill the card we are sending for the sand.}}

#651; Those Volatile Menu Options transcribed by in

VOICEMAIL: If you know your party's extension, you may dial it in reverse order using your touch-tone phone. To access a company directory, please hold your phone receiver over a stove and watch the patterns the steam makes when viewed against a dark background.

{{alt-text: Your replacement card will come in the mail. The seeds are just to keep you occupied. They are actually just sand. We will bill the card we are sending for the sand.}}

Your replacement card will come in the mail. The seeds are just to keep you occupied. They are actually just sand. We will bill the card we are sending for the sand.