Comic Transcripts

[[IGNACIO is listening to the phone.]]
VOICEMAIL: Your call is very important to us. Please listen carefully, as our menu options have recently changed. For billing, press one. For sales, press two. For technical support, press pi.

VOICEMAIL: If you know your party’s extension, you may dial it in reverse order using your touch-tone phone. To access a company directory, please hold your phone receiver over a stove and watch the patterns the steam makes when viewed against a dark background.

VOICEMAIL: To report a lost or stolen card, twist the receiver in opposite directions with both hands. Have a resealable glass container nearby to catch the liquid that emerges from the earpiece. In a dark, quiet room, press your face against the mouth of the container and tell the liquid exactly what happened to your card. Vivid memories are best. The good times your card enabled you to have. Tell it all this, and seal it.

VOICEMAIL: Let the liquid harden into a gel in a cool cupboard In seven to ten days, you will receive a packet of seeds. Plant the seeds in the gel in the shape of a regular heptagon.
IGNACIO [[looking nervous, thinks]]: Man, these options have changed

{{header: please hold for WONDERMARK.COM}}

{{alt-text: Your replacement card will come in the mail. The seeds are just to keep you occupied. They are actually just sand. We will bill the card we are sending for the sand.}}

#651; Those Volatile Menu Options transcribed by in

[[IGNACIO is listening to the phone.]]
VOICEMAIL: Your call is very important to us. Please listen carefully, as our menu options have recently changed. For billing, press one. For sales, press two. For technical support, press pi.

VOICEMAIL: If you know your party’s extension, you may dial it in reverse order using your touch-tone phone. To access a company directory, please hold your phone receiver over a stove and watch the patterns the steam makes when viewed against a dark background.

VOICEMAIL: To report a lost or stolen card, twist the receiver in opposite directions with both hands. Have a resealable glass container nearby to catch the liquid that emerges from the earpiece. In a dark, quiet room, press your face against the mouth of the container and tell the liquid exactly what happened to your card. Vivid memories are best. The good times your card enabled you to have. Tell it all this, and seal it.

VOICEMAIL: Let the liquid harden into a gel in a cool cupboard In seven to ten days, you will receive a packet of seeds. Plant the seeds in the gel in the shape of a regular heptagon.
IGNACIO [[looking nervous, thinks]]: Man, these options have changed

{{header: please hold for WONDERMARK.COM}}

{{alt-text: Your replacement card will come in the mail. The seeds are just to keep you occupied. They are actually just sand. We will bill the card we are sending for the sand.}}

#651; Those Volatile Menu Options transcribed by in

[[IGNACIO is listening to the phone.]]
VOICEMAIL: Your call is very important to us. Please listen carefully, as our menu options have recently changed. For billing, press one. For sales, press two. For technical support, press pi.

VOICEMAIL: If you know your party's extension, you may dial it in reverse order using your touch-tone phone. To access a company directory, please hold your phone receiver over a stove and watch the patterns the steam makes when viewed against a dark background.

VOICEMAIL: To report a lost or stolen card, twist the receiver in opposite directions with both hands. Have a resealable glass container nearby to catch the liquid that emerges from the earpiece. In a dark, quiet room, press your face against the mouth of the container and tell the liquid exactly what happened to your card. Vivid memories are best. The good times your card enabled you to have. Tell it all this, and seal it.

VOICEMAIL: Let the liquid harden into a gel in a cool cupboard In seven to ten days, you will receive a packet of seeds. Plant the seeds in the gel in the shape of a regular heptagon.
IGNACIO [[looking nervous, thinks]]: Man, these options have changed

{{header: please hold for WONDERMARK.COM}}

{{alt-text: Your replacement card will come in the mail. The seeds are just to keep you occupied. They are actually just sand. We will bill the card we are sending for the sand.}}

Your replacement card will come in the mail. The seeds are just to keep you occupied. They are actually just sand. We will bill the card we are sending for the sand.

#651; Those Volatile Menu Options

  — August 24th, 2010

[ Tags: , , ]       Permalink: https://wondermark.com/c/651/

Buy a Print

New ways to get Bolted!

July 24, 2026 by David Malki !

In addition to buying things directly from me, the normal way, my game Bolted! is also now available on Amazon dot com.

On that famous website, you can also get the Creature-Crafting Magnets Set, which is made of the same artwork from the game, but is just a weird little trinket (not a playable game).

My kiddo made the elaborate version below to show off just how many magnets you get in the set (it’s 150 pieces in all — this isn’t even all of them).

Also now on Amazon is my set of Multi-Purpose Greeting Cards — a full dozen cards with envelopes in a fancy, unbranded, foil-stamped box!

Event alert!

I’ll also be showing off Bolted! at Greenwood Games, an event in Seattle this Saturday:

Greenwood Games is a free, all-ages community game event that invites players to spend the afternoon walking Greenwood Avenue from 65th to 80th, collecting clues, cracking puzzles, and discovering games made right here in Washington.

Think of it as Pride Hop, ArtWalk, and the Gumshoe all rolled into one,  except the whole thing is built around games and puzzles.​

Local game designers will be set up at different places along Greenwood Avenue in Phinney Ridge (near Ballard). My specific spot will be the “Holy Mountain Phinney Ridge Taproom”. All the information about all the different games & venues is on the website!

(If you’re in Seattle generally but not free tomorrow, Bolted! is also stocked at Blue Highway Games in Queen Anne.)

Next week, I’ll be at Gen Con! I personally will be hanging with my buddy Sam Logan at BFE Webcomics, booth #1217… but I have it on good authority that copies of Bolted! will be available at the CRWN Studios booth, #2549.

Visit one booth! Then the other! The order…is up to you.


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