#1362; Ax Me Another, Part 2

Comic Transcripts

[[GIRLINE and PILLIPA sit in a chair garden, idly chatting.]]

GIRLINE: Grandma, I always wanted to ask you! Where did you get these chairs? They’re so… unique.
PILLIPA: Your grandpapa made them for me, many years ago! It was quite an ordeal.

PILLIPA: You see, in those days the forest was ruled by a WOOD KING who forbade the cutting down of any of his trees. Your grandfather, bless his dullard heart, chopped down forty-one trees to find just the right wood for these chairs.
GIRLINE: And the king allowed it?
PILLIPA: No! Your grandfather had to kidnap the king to try and hide his crime.

PILLIPA: Then when the DRYAD ARMY came after him, he tried to TRICK them with a series of elaborate LOGIC PUZZLES. Then he had ME act as a distraction while he chopped the king up into lumber and quickly made him into a picnic table that he claimed had been there the whole time!
GIRLINE: Sounds like he was a very clever man!
PILLIPA: From the broad strokes and in retrospect, I can see how it would seem that way.

[[Pillipa’s face intensifies.]]

PILLIPA: With the king’s body unrecognized, they had to come after him in civil court. When he was served with a LEAF SUMMONS, he claimed to be his own TWIN BROTHER. So they sued BOTH brothers and got a default judgment when only ONE appeared in court. But then, as luck would have it, the power vacuum left by the king’s absence enabled a TREE COUP that, after much sap-shed, led to the forest becoming the peaceful PARLIAMENTARY ARBOROCRACY it is today.

GIRLINE: So he GOT AWAY with it!
PILLIPA: Oh, NO, ha ha ha! No, rogue elements of the dryad military loyal to the deposed monarchy came after him in the night in a covert act of revenge. I woke up one day to find him COMPLETELY MUMMIFIED IN SAP! Gave me QUITE the startle, let me tell you!

[[We have a fleeting glimpse of Grandpapa]]

PILLIPA: He was too beautiful for this world. REALLY he was. All I have left to remember him now are these CHAIRS… And some of the sap with his hair in it that I keep in an urn.
GIRLINE: WHAT A TALE! I never knew there was so much to the history of these funny old chairs!

GIRLINE: Really makes you wish they were at ALL comfortable, doesn’t it?
PILLIPA: I KNOW! That’s the tragedy of the whole bloody thing!

#1362; Ax Me Another, Part 2 transcribed by in

[[GIRLINE and PILLIPA sit in a chair garden, idly chatting.]]

GIRLINE: Grandma, I always wanted to ask you! Where did you get these chairs? They're so... unique.
PILLIPA: Your grandpapa made them for me, many years ago! It was quite an ordeal.

[[Pillipa's face intensifies.]]

PILLIPA: With the king's body unrecognized, they had to come after him in civil court. When he was served with a LEAF SUMMONS, he claimed to be his own TWIN BROTHER. So they sued BOTH brothers and got a default judgment when only ONE appeared in court. But then, as luck would have it, the power vacuum left by the king's absence enabled a TREE COUP that, after much sap-shed, led to the forest becoming the peaceful PARLIAMENTARY ARBOROCRACY it is today.

[[We have a fleeting glimpse of Grandpapa]]

PILLIPA: He was too beautiful for this world. REALLY he was. All I have left to remember him now are these CHAIRS... And some of the sap with his hair in it that I keep in an urn.
GIRLINE: WHAT A TALE! I never knew there was so much to the history of these funny old chairs!

GIRLINE: Really makes you wish they were at ALL comfortable, doesn't it?
PILLIPA: I KNOW! That's the tragedy of the whole bloody thing!

But that was a different time! Chairs HAD to be hard so they’d keep your hernias pressed in!

#1362; Ax Me Another, Part 2

— December 9th, 2017

[ Tags: botanicals, nostalgia, violence ] Permalink: https://wondermark.com/c/1362/

Buy a Print

In addition to buying things directly from me, the normal way, my game Bolted! is also now available on Amazon dot com.

On that famous website, you can also get the Creature-Crafting Magnets Set, which is made of the same artwork from the game, but is just a weird little trinket (not a playable game).

My kiddo made the elaborate version below to show off just how many magnets you get in the set (it’s 150 pieces in all — this isn’t even all of them).

Also now on Amazon is my set of Multi-Purpose Greeting Cards — a full dozen cards with envelopes in a fancy, unbranded, foil-stamped box!

Event alert!

I’ll also be showing off Bolted! at Greenwood Games, an event in Seattle this Saturday:

Greenwood Games is a free, all-ages community game event that invites players to spend the afternoon walking Greenwood Avenue from 65th to 80th, collecting clues, cracking puzzles, and discovering games made right here in Washington.

Think of it as Pride Hop, ArtWalk, and the Gumshoe all rolled into one, except the whole thing is built around games and puzzles.

Local game designers will be set up at different places along Greenwood Avenue in Phinney Ridge (near Ballard). My specific spot will be the “Holy Mountain Phinney Ridge Taproom”. All the information about all the different games & venues is on the website!

(If you’re in Seattle generally but not free tomorrow, Bolted! is also stocked at Blue Highway Games in Queen Anne.)

Next week, I’ll be at Gen Con! I personally will be hanging with my buddy Sam Logan at BFE Webcomics, booth #1217… but I have it on good authority that copies of Bolted! will be available at the CRWN Studios booth, #2549.

Visit one booth! Then the other! The order…is up to you.

Comic Transcripts

#1362; Ax Me Another, Part 2

— December 9th, 2017

Event alert!

Recent blog posts