Comic Transcripts

HI, I’D LIKE TO RETURN A TOASTER.
SURE! CAN I SEE YOUR RECEIPT?
I DON’T HAVE IT.
OKAY, THEN CAN I SEE THE TOASTER?

I DON’T HAVE IT.
YOU DON’T HAVE THE TOASTER YOU’RE TRYING TO RETURN?
I LOST IT. IT BROKE.
LISTEN, IT’S BUSTED. YOU CAN’T RESELL IT, SO ISN’T THE RELEVANT FACTOR THAT I NO LONGER HAVE IT? AND SINCE I DON’T HAVE IT, I NEED MY MONEY INSTEAD.

FINE. HERE. FIFTY BUCKS. SORRY FOR THE TROUBLE!
I SHOULD SAY SO! HMMPH!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
LISTEN, FIFTY BUCKS IS NOTHING COMPARED TO POSITIVE CUSTOMER RELATIONS AND BUILDING BRAND LOYALTY! I’D PAY HUNDREDS FOR AN AD, I’LL GIVE THIS GUY FIFTY BUCKS TO KEEP HIM HAPPY.

IT’S NOT ABOUT FIFTY BUCKS, IT’S ABOUT REWARDING A SENSE OF ENTITLEMENT AND SETTING A PRECEDENT OF BEING GULLIBLE! THAT LEADS TO A LOT MORE THAN JUST FIFTY BUCKS!
HI, EXCUSE ME, I’D LIKE TO RETURN THE BUILDING WE’RE STANDING IT

{{header: take it back to WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: The toaster broke when I threw it at a salesclerk in a different store}}

#836; In which a Toaster vanishes transcribed by in

HI, I’D LIKE TO RETURN A TOASTER.
SURE! CAN I SEE YOUR RECEIPT?
I DON’T HAVE IT.
OKAY, THEN CAN I SEE THE TOASTER?

I DON’T HAVE IT.
YOU DON’T HAVE THE TOASTER YOU’RE TRYING TO RETURN?
I LOST IT. IT BROKE.
LISTEN, IT’S BUSTED. YOU CAN’T RESELL IT, SO ISN’T THE RELEVANT FACTOR THAT I NO LONGER HAVE IT? AND SINCE I DON’T HAVE IT, I NEED MY MONEY INSTEAD.

FINE. HERE. FIFTY BUCKS. SORRY FOR THE TROUBLE!
I SHOULD SAY SO! HMMPH!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
LISTEN, FIFTY BUCKS IS NOTHING COMPARED TO POSITIVE CUSTOMER RELATIONS AND BUILDING BRAND LOYALTY! I’D PAY HUNDREDS FOR AN AD, I’LL GIVE THIS GUY FIFTY BUCKS TO KEEP HIM HAPPY.

IT’S NOT ABOUT FIFTY BUCKS, IT’S ABOUT REWARDING A SENSE OF ENTITLEMENT AND SETTING A PRECEDENT OF BEING GULLIBLE! THAT LEADS TO A LOT MORE THAN JUST FIFTY BUCKS!
HI, EXCUSE ME, I’D LIKE TO RETURN THE BUILDING WE’RE STANDING IT

{{header: take it back to WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: The toaster broke when I threw it at a salesclerk in a different store}}

#836; In which a Toaster vanishes transcribed by in

HI, I'D LIKE TO RETURN A TOASTER.
SURE! CAN I SEE YOUR RECEIPT?
I DON'T HAVE IT.
OKAY, THEN CAN I SEE THE TOASTER?

I DON'T HAVE IT.
YOU DON'T HAVE THE TOASTER YOU'RE TRYING TO RETURN?
I LOST IT. IT BROKE.
LISTEN, IT'S BUSTED. YOU CAN'T RESELL IT, SO ISN'T THE RELEVANT FACTOR THAT I NO LONGER HAVE IT? AND SINCE I DON'T HAVE IT, I NEED MY MONEY INSTEAD.

FINE. HERE. FIFTY BUCKS. SORRY FOR THE TROUBLE!
I SHOULD SAY SO! HMMPH!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
LISTEN, FIFTY BUCKS IS NOTHING COMPARED TO POSITIVE CUSTOMER RELATIONS AND BUILDING BRAND LOYALTY! I'D PAY HUNDREDS FOR AN AD, I'LL GIVE THIS GUY FIFTY BUCKS TO KEEP HIM HAPPY.

IT'S NOT ABOUT FIFTY BUCKS, IT'S ABOUT REWARDING A SENSE OF ENTITLEMENT AND SETTING A PRECEDENT OF BEING GULLIBLE! THAT LEADS TO A LOT MORE THAN JUST FIFTY BUCKS!
HI, EXCUSE ME, I'D LIKE TO RETURN THE BUILDING WE'RE STANDING IT

{{header: take it back to WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: The toaster broke when I threw it at a salesclerk in a different store}}

The toaster broke when I threw it at a salesclerk in a different store

#836; In which a Toaster vanishes

  — May 11th, 2012

[ Tags: , , , ]       Permalink: https://wondermark.com/c/836/

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Applications open for Genius Northwest – an IRL gaming competition

May 8, 2026 by David Malki !

Last year, I participated in Genius Northwest, a gaming competition inspired by the Korean gameshow The Genius and its ilk.

It’s a reality show without the cameras — a 3-day, all-inclusive weekend retreat structured around a series of challenges and puzzles, in which personalities and dealmaking matter as much as playing games.

It’s truly a remarkable thing. I came in dead last in the competition, but I still had a great time participating.

The event is held annually in the Pacific Northwest (hence the name) and applications are now open to participate in the 2026 competition!

Learn more — and apply — at GeniusNW.com.


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