Wondermark at San Diego Comic-Con, #1229

It’s time once again for San Diego Comic-Con, and as per usual, I’ll be at the TopatoCo booth, #1229 (right next to #1234, which is how you remember it!).

I’ll be sharing that space with Ryan North, Brandon Bird, and, in his long-awaited return to San Diego after many years banned from entering the building, Sam Logan!

I’m sure we will come up with many excellent jokes in the many punchy hours we will spend standing next to one another — feel free to ask us what the current running gag is, at whatever time you see us.

On Sunday, I’ll also be participating in this panel:

Comics of the Internet: The Memes, the Myths, the Legends

Have you seen that one comic online? You know, the one that’s everywhere? What if you could talk to the creators behind the comics that broke the Internet? Now you can! comiXologists Matt Kolowski and Kiersten Wing chat with meme comic scholars and creators Hope Nicholson (Bedside Press), Megan Kearney (The Secret Loves of Geek Girls), Shen T. (Owlturd Comics), David Malki (Wondermark), and Nick Franco (Nuzlocke Comics) about the creative genius and little bit of luck that make these exceptional comics go viral!

Sunday July 22, 2018
2:00pm – 3:00pm
Room 29AB

I think they are going to ask me about that comic about the otter, or whatever it is.

The Story of How Juneau Ate My Boots

THIS WEEKEND, I’m returning to Juneau for the third annual Alaska Robotics Mini-Con, on Saturday April 28!

I’ll also be on a panel at 1 p.m., talking about publishing. I hope you will attend, if you are in or near Juneau!

In addition to the convention, I’ll also be attending Comics Camp.

I wrote about Comics Camp back in 2016. It was a great experience, and I’m looking forward to returning to the woods. The whole family is coming this time! (Except the cats. Sorry, cats.)

That last visit was my first time to Juneau (or Alaska in general) and I found the town lovely and full of interesting people.

I found out for myself when my boots fell apart.

I live in Los Angeles. We have occasional inclement weather, but I’m rarely trekking through mud or snow. So when the time came to pack for camp in the Alaskan forest, I decided to bring a pair of boots.

I’m not entirely sure where I got these boots. I’ve had them for at least a decade. They just appeared in my closet one day — I honestly don’t know where they came from. I don’t think I ever bought them. They fit well with my flight suit, back when I was flying a lot, so I kept them, and thought of them fondly even when I never wore them.

It seemed like camping in Alaska was the time for the boots to shine, considering I owned no other footwear that could remotely be considered appropriate for trekking though tundra.

So, I tied them tight and headed to the airport.

My mistake became clear within about six hours.

I was walking around in Juneau on the Friday afternoon before the convention, when I noticed a big weird black flake on the ground.

Then another, and another.

“Hmm,” I thought, “that’s quite strange! Is it a Juneau…bark parasite, maybe?”

No, it was the top layer of my boots coming off.

Whatever that smooth coating is, having now been subjected to flexing and bending the likes of which it hadn’t seen in a long, lonely decade, was coming off in sheets like my back skin after a beach day.

“Huh,” I thought. I took the picture above to send to my wife. (Unfortunately I didn’t have the presence of mind to take further pictures of the adventure to come.)

Within another hour, it was clear that these boots had been holding themselves together by sheer force of will. The rubber soles were now beginning to separate from the canvas boot body at the toe and at the heel.

“Perhaps I should address this somehow,” I thought.

I checked out a few shoe stores in downtown Juneau, but I wasn’t ready to give up on the comfy ol’ boots just yet. Have you ever tried breaking in a new pair of shoes on a convention trip? I have had to do it twice, and it ain’t a picnic — much less a camping trip.

“I believe in you, boots,” I told my boots, and they cracked a big, wide grin in return, which was a concern.

By Saturday morning I knew I had a real problem on my hands.

By then, both soles had more than half separated, and were waggling off the bottom as I walked, like a clown’s flip-flops.

I had a few hours before the convention was set to start, so I headed for a store, any store, to buy some contact cement, or superglue, or anything that might hold my shoes together.

Because not only was I about to stand all day at a convention… Then, I would be boarding a bus for camp, and I would be at camp for three days.

I did not relish the prospect of having completely destroyed shoes in a scenario where the only way to fix or replace them would involve, like, bears.

But, I soon found out, it was 9 a.m. on a Saturday! And so everything in downtown Juneau was closed!

I couldn’t linger around, waiting leisurely outside a True Value for the start of business to arrive like the tardy winter sun; I had to go build my booth before the convention started!

So I returned to the center where the con was being held, and made a quick survey of my fellow exhibitors.

Luckily, I found someone with (brightly-colored, as it turned out) duct tape — and not a moment too soon, as one of the soles by that point had completely separated from the canvas material of the boot, leaving a weird sock-shaped foot-sheath behind.

A boot looks weird without any sort of sole.

I was in no mood to be picky. I wrapped both boots with pink and green duct tape, up over the toe and back under the sole — over the laces, even, because who cared.

I needed these shoes to stay together, at least for the day. If I had to reapply more neon duct tape in the morning, by God, I would do it.

And so thus passed the first half of the day. My shoes stayed bound to my feet, and my soles stayed bound to my shoes.

All was going well enough; I was passing the day having pleasant conversations with the locals.

One thing I like about the Juneau show is that a lot of people stop by because it is A Civic Event Happening That Day.

In smaller towns, you see that frequently — and it’s great for introducing new folks to what you’re doing.

In this way, I met a fellow whose name I did not catch, but whom I later learned was probably called John. John and I made small talk as he looked at my table.

“Just came over from work to see what was going on in here,” he said, or something like that (I’m paraphrasing).

“Oh, cool. What do you do?” I replied. or something like that.

“I’m a cobbler,” said John. “I have a shoe repair shop about a block away.”

In that instant, it was like the air turned to crystal around me.

Suddenly, the world made sense again.

“John,” I could not possibly have said because I didn’t actually know his name, “would you be willing to take a look at my boots?”

He agreed. I peeled off the tape and showed him one of the boots.

“Needs to be re-stitched,” he said.

“What are the chances you would be able to do that today?” I asked.

“Can you pick it up Monday?”

“We’re leaving straight from here to camp,” I said. “It’d have to be this afternoon.”

John considered this. “Okay,” he said.

I took off the other shoe, then.

“Oh. Both shoes,” he said. “Wow.”

“It’s all or nothing at this booth.”

“Fifty bucks,” he said.

I agreed.

“Plus…a delivery fee, for bringing them back,” he added.

What could I say?

I gave him my shoes.

For the next few hours I manned the booth barefoot, carefully scanning the crowd to see if John would reappear. As the hour of the convention’s closing drew closer, I began to grow increasingly nervous.

What if John didn’t return? What if I had foolishly traded terrible shoes for no shoes at all??

At five o’clock, the convention ended. People started filing out. We were instructed to begin breaking down our tables, in preparation to get on the bus at six.

I rushed to the door where volunteers were seeing the attendees out.

“I’m expecting someone to come back with my shoes,” I said. “Please let him in!”

The volunteer nodded, as if this were a normal thing in Juneau.

About ten minutes before we were to leave, John finally did show up with my shoes. He was escorted over to my table.

He gave some explanation of the exact repairs he did, I can’t remember the details. The upshot of it was that he stitched the soles to the canvas in a way that (I imagine) will now last a hundred years.

I gratefully paid him, and donned my newly-repaired shoes. They seemed more durable and rugged than they’d ever been. These soles would never come loose — it would take an ox to break these stitches.

And oxen are not native to Alaska.

I told this story to several Juneau locals, and they all seemed to think they knew who it was (John, of course). I counted myself lucky to have gotten such prompt service — and gotten them delivered, to boot.

Thank you, John, for rescuing my terrible shoes.

I may even wear them again this year.

I guess they just needed to be…rebooted.

NEXT WEEK: Seattle! With new stickers & Cast Cards!

I’ve made a new SECOND SET of Hyperbolic Upgrade Stickers! (The lower 8 stickers in this photo are new! The upper ones you can get right now.)

They will be available at my table at the Emerald City Comic Con (née Comicon) next week, and online in my store after that!

As per usual I’ll be at the TopatoCo booth, #1102, on the skybridge, alongside a dashing squad of cartoonist colleagues.

We’re also playing our Wikipedia game again, in a panel:

SUNDAY MAR 04 // 3:45 PM // TCC L3 – Room 3

The Lost in Wikipedia Game Show!

Ever fallen down a Wikipedia hole? Clicking from article to article until you forget where you came from? Come watch us trap our panelists deep within the Wiki web and make them race to navigate their way back out to freedom.

Featuring Dylan Meconis (Bite Me), Trin Garritano (Friendshipping, Cards Against Humanity), James L. Sutter (Pathfinder, Starfinder) and Dave Kellett (Sheldon, Drive), and hosted by David Malki ! (Machine of Death, Wondermark).

At the show, you will be able to get a Roll-a-Sketch drawing from me if you like, and I’ll award you (remind me if I forget) our new 2018 Roll-a-Sketch Cast Card, pictured here with several of its brethren:

I’ve just updated the Cast Cards Index Page, showing off the 40 different cards released or planned to date — including past years’ Roll-a-Sketch cards (claimable in retrospect if you got a sketch from me in 2016 or 2017), Patreon cards, and special Achievement Cards.

We award participants a card with every big project released (such as a Kickstarter or our annual calendar), and in the year to come, there will be a few new Achievement Cards available as well — I’ll hold another caption contest next month, for example!

Our subscribers on Patreon have been the main recipients of the Cast Card bounty, with a brand new card every single month.

In fact, I’ve just sent subscribers the January 2018 card — and there’s still a few days left to claim February’s (Dandra P. Wrentzling, pictured above) for yourself if you like, by becoming a Patreon subscriber at the appropriate tier before the month is out.

2018 will see the release of the FINAL BATCH of Wondermark Cast Cards, so join us for the home stretch!

THIS WEEKEND: Emerald City Comicon – Panel schedule!

I'M GOING TO wish they had a better promo image

It’s time once again for Seattle’s loveliest comic convention! Come visit me on the skybridge connecting the convention center with the conference center annex across the street.

I will be at the TopatoCo booth (#1102) per usual, all four days, standing DIRECTLY OVER the traffic on Pike Street. HOPE NOTHING HAPPENS LOL

I’ll have a variety of attractive wares for sale, and I will also be doing Roll-a-Sketches!

I am also participating in two panels! One I am TALKING ON and the other I am HOSTING:

THURSDAY 3/2 // 3:00-4:00 pm // Room WSCC 604

The Power Was In You All Along: How to Turn your Weird Talents and Unusual Obsessions into Authentic, Original Art

The creative world is full of copycats and trend-followers. It’s tempting to go with the crowd, but what if the real secret to success is…originality? And what if your best ideas lie hidden in your weirdest skills and most unusual passions?

Join panelists Lucy Bellwood (Baggywrinkles), Kory Bing (Skin Deep), David Malki ! (Wondermark), and Dylan Meconis (Bite Me!, Family Man) as they explain how to turn your passion for underwater basketweaving (…or whatever!) into a creative goldmine.

SATURDAY 3/4 // 5:15-6:15 pm // Room TCC 305

The Lost in Wikipedia Game Show!

Ever fallen down a Wikipedia hole? Clicking from article to article until you forget where you came from? Come watch us trap our panelists deep within the Wiki web and make them race to navigate their way back out to freedom.

Featuring Nika Harper (Wordplay), Kris Straub (Chainsawsuit, 28 Plays Later), Trin Garritano (Friendshipping, Cards Against Humanity), and Dave Kellett (Sheldon, Drive), and hosted by David Malki ! (Machine of Death, Wondermark).

I hope to see you all there!! ALL. OF. YOU.

NEXT WEEK: Improv Festival in Hawaii

'The Improv Extravaganza'

Next week, September 23 & 24, I’ll be performing on stage at Improvaganza, the Hawaii Festival of Improv in Honolulu!

My team, The Audience, will be doing two comedy shows: Friday night at 9pm, and Saturday night at 9pm.

It was a great honor to be invited to perform in Hawaii and I’m really looking forward to the trip! The festival itself runs for most of the week, with various workshops and performances — which I assume are all great.

I have to admit: this is the only time I’m likely to be in Hawaii on OFFICIAL BUSINESS for quite a while. Barring a future invitation from a convention, I don’t have any current plans to attend any comics-related events there.

But since I WILL be on Oahu next week, well, shoot, it’d be fun to do a meetup! Perhaps at a local comic or game store, or somewhere else comfortable? I’d love to make myself available on this rare occasion.

I’ll actually be arriving on the 20th, so I’ll be around most of the week… AND THE 21ST IS MY BIRTHDAY WHAAATT

Honestly? I have no idea how many readers might be in Hawaii and interested in saying hello! If you are local and have any suggestions or ideas for how this might work, don’t be shy, please shoot me an email — [dave at wondermark dot com]

If it looks like something can be scheduled, I’ll make an announcement here on the site and also on my Twitter.

And if not? I guess I’ll just drown my lonely sorrows in a huge pile of malasadas. What a terrible, terrible fate to be consigned to.