The commotion is that the flying man who always comes by has returned once again.

#1581; The Longest, Most Fruitless Search

  — January 23rd, 2026

[ Tags: , , , ]       Permalink: https://wondermark.com/c/1581/

Continued from Wondermark #024
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Buy a Print

Check out: The Naughty Victorian Hand Book

One of my wife’s co-workers sent this book home with her, saying “This looks like the sort of thing David would like.” And WOW, was he correct. This book is INCREDIBLE.

It’s The Naughty Victorian Hand Book; or, Furtling: The Rediscovered Art of Erotic Hand Manipulation by New Zealand artists Jeremy Bennett and Burton Silver. Bennett is responsible for the many absolutely wonderful illustrations throughout the book — they’re created with a scratchboard technique that mimics incredibly the Victorian-era woodcut style. Silver is the author of quite a few humor books, including two that I already have on my shelf: Why Cats Paint and its sequel, Why Paint Cats.

(Click any image for a closer look.)

The premise of The Naughty Victorian Hand Book is simple. The introduction describes the lost practice of “furtling”, explaining:

To study the art of erotic hand manipulation is to start out on a wonderful journey of discovery, a journey that leads into a world of secret folds and furrows…

For no matter whether this work was billed as a “medicinal contrivance for the diminished urge” or simply as a harmless parlour-game, the prudish Victorian mind would have intuitively grasped the contagious nature of the underlying message…As you will find, these engravings have lost none of their power to excite and provoke.

They induce powerful statements of tactile value where the reader is encouraged to delight in the sensation of touch — as if the body were in miniature and the finger tip the caressing palm.

Every part of the book includes various cut-out sections, where the reader can place his or her hand physically under the page to fill out the illustration.

For example, on a given page, there will be a diagram showing exactly how to place your hand — you turn two pages, and place your hand underneath both in the configuration pictured.

Then, you lift up the top page to reveal the illustration that, with the addition of your hand, has become INCREDIBLY NAUGHTY.

This book is amazing. It’s a one-note joke, but it’s so elaborately done and so wonderfully done that it’s absolutely worth it. I’ve never seen a book quite like it.

Anyone who’s read my any of my books knows that I like to include mechanics in them that respect the physicality of the book as artifact — whether it’s having to repeatedly rotate The Annotated Wondermark, or hold pages in Beards of our Forefathers up to the light, or match up pages in Clever Tricks to Stave Off Death to create recipes for medicine — I love the idea of the book as thing, an item that’s not just a sum of words and pictures but actually something that gains power from having physical mass and occupying a specific space in the world.

Also I can’t stop giggling at it.

This book was released in Great Britain and the US in 1989, but is now long out of print. Over the last few months I’ve been keeping an eye out for copies in any used bookstores I visit, and also snapping them up when I come across them online. A few of you have seen me show it off at conventions — it’s the only product I’ve ever sold that’s not my own work! But it fits so well with the Wondermark aesthetic and sense of humor that I almost feel it’s my duty to give this now 25-year-old book whatever second life I can.

If you’re as tickled by this as I am, you can find used copies on Amazon or in other used bookstores (not around me, though!).

Or, right now I’ve got 19 copies of my own that I’m happy to offer. Mine are all used copies (as Amazon’s would be), and as such are slightly worn or may feature strange stickers — but not in any way that impedes the reading experience. UPDATE: All my copies are gone! If I obtain more in the future I will be sure to say so loudly!

Plus, if you order from me you also get a handwritten thank-you from Piranhamoose! YOUR MOVE, AMAZON.

The only difference between the British and American versions of the book is the cover design (I’ve got some of each). If you get a copy from me, I’ll send you one or the other randomly.

With Valentine’s Day coming up (and of course I still have Valentine cards for sale too!) this would make the perfect gift for the weirdo in your life!

The Naughty Victorian Hand Book:
on Amazon or available direct from me. Update: I’ve sold all my copies for now!

…by the way, this whole post is NSFWV (Not Safe For Wilting Victorians)

Ryan North and I are having a BOOKWAR

It started here. In the words of Ryan North:

You probably read about my amazing friend Chip’s amazing relationship with an amazing Applebee’s. If not, do so. It is amazing; that is the word that I think applies to it, if I had to choose one.

Last week my friends and I were talking about this incredibly-awful “how to go viral” article someone wrote about the story (first line: “Going Viral is the number one aspiration of everyone and their next door neighbor”). “This is how the world ends,” I said.
Around the same time I got an email from a friend, Andrew Pickles, who wanted to take some photos of me as a new subject, rather than the ones he normally uses. I said sure! One of the photos we took was this one:

I made it my Facebook profile picture and David Malki (comics creator, FORMER FRIEND) somehow got ahold of it and turned it into this:

That first shot was fired (by me, I admit) about a week ago and OH MY, we DID NOT REALIZE what we were unleashing.

The war is currently raging on my Tumblr and Ryan’s Tumblr, and we have collected all the volleys to date — with nice big pictures of everything — at: BOOKWAR.TUMBLR.COM

Valentines cards and HORRID STORIES! The perfect romance!!

If you have a sweetie of any kind, you should know about my Wondermark Valentines! Here are a couple in particular:

And there are others too! Click here too see the full suite of designs. I recommend placing your orders this week, to ensure you get them in plenty of time before the ol’ “V”! The V in that sentence stands for “Valentine’s Day.”

Speaking of sexy, last month, I released a book called Horrid Little Stories: Sixty Dark and Tiny Tales of Misery and Woe. It’s a 150-page collection of all the art and verses from the Wondermark calendars of 2008-2012 (and a few more besides!). LIKE SO:

…FOR EXAMPLE. I’m really glad that these total strangers on Goodreads seem to like it, at least!

“These people” are, statistically, READING THIS RIGHT NOW. So just know that…I AM WATCHING

Previously I’d only offered the book as a bundle with the 2014 Calendar, but starting today I’m pleased to offer it singly! OR, you can get it in combination with its fellow Bearstache Pocketbook, the animal- and pet-themed Wondermark collection Classy Lady Like You Will Love the Smell of My Butt:

Or can even now get ALL THE WONDERMARK BOOKS EVER in a giant stack! THE CHOICE IS UP TO YOU.

Finally: speaking of calendars — I was digging around in a box in the office and I suddenly discovered that the printing company gave us sixteen extra Roll-a-Sketch calendars that I didn’t know about. It’s amazing what you find when you don’t toss everything in a huge box and live your life that way forever! Or at least I imagine!! (UPDATE: These have all been claimed.)

So I’ve re-opened the calendar store for this very limited quantity and honoring all the December calendar deals as well: you can bundle it with a Horrid Little Stories book and/or a piece of original art!

True Stuff: Mortality record from 1665


(click image for bigger)

I love this: Via Slate’s The Vault, “In 16th- and 17th-century London, in response to recurrent epidemics of bubonic plague, authorities instituted the tradition of publishing a bill of mortality each week.”

See Slate’s brief article, with more links, here.

They also link to Craig Spence’s Bills of Mortality blog:

The Bills were formulated initially to track disease (principally plague) and enumerate burials and christenings but from the mid 17th century they also listed causes of death including murders, suicides and accidental or unexplained violent deaths. It is these reports that provide an insight into the form and frequency of sudden violent death throughout the period of the early modern metropolis…

The content of the Bills was provided by the parish clerks who reported weekly accounts from each parish to the Hall of the Company of Parish Clerks. The Company then collated and printed a weekly sheet; one side held a listing of the number of burials by parish and from the mid 17th century the reverse listed a summary count of those killed by named ‘diseases and casualties’.

These covered a wide range of illnesses, some of which are readily identifiable to the modern reader and some which are not.

I don’t know about you but I’ve been suffering from ‘scowring’ for weeks

(h/t to @PublicDomainRev, where I first saw this)

2013 Errata

Although we employ a rigorous team of fact-checkers at all times, who — in violation of most worldwide labor laws — don’t even get a break to go to the restroom, we have been informed by various busybodies that a few factual mistakes have crept into the occasional comic strip we published in 2013. Please find our corrections below.

#911; What Happens Alone, Part 2
There are, in fact, geese on Gax, but they devour any creature whose gaze brushes against their silky feathers, so it makes sense that Gax would not know about them.

#938; In which a Dog’s got a Mouth
The dog did not really think it was THAT bad of an idea; he just felt pressured into having a contrary opinion.

#967; In which a Star comes Home, Part 2
Technically, Jenny Simmons did not die when her train went off a cliff; she died when the train car she was sitting in hit the jagged rocks at the bottom of the cliff.

#975; In which Quality is assured
‘Lots’ of people is somewhat overstating the success of the East Valley junior high car wash.

#946; Talking, In a Manner of Speaking
The communication method speech is not the difficulty level that hard.

2012 Errata
Somebody forgot to do a 2012 errata.

Wondermark regrets the errors.

Previously: 2011 Errata / 2009 Errata / 2008 Errata


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