Comic Transcripts

[[Floating whale speaks to two men, one bald and one in a hat.]]

Narration: EARTH PLEDGES FEALTY TO THE DUSTY SPACE WHALE
Dusty Space Whale: Okay, as subjects of my pod, humans will get CURES to all diseases, PREFERRED interstellar trade terms, and PRE-RELEASE access to ALL television shows that will EVER be created.
Hat man: Yes please

Dusty Space Whale: You’ll also get universal WHALE PASSPORTS allowing unfettered travel between the stars, and become part of the UNIFIED GALACTIC SCIENTIFIC CONSORTIUM, the largest collection of SHARED SCIENTIFIC DATA in the universe.
Hat man: omg omg omg

Dusty Space Whale: To STANDARDIZE matters, however, you;ll have to adopt our universal currency and units of measurement. Just to make things easier, surely you understand.
Hat man: Oh, of course! absolutely! No problem at all!
Bald man: Bring it on! We’re ready!

[[The market]]
Gentleman #1: Hey Earl, let me get 0.00004 starplanktons worth of strawberries.
Gentleman #2: Sure, that’ll be three and a half zeptospacebaleen. CASH or KRILL?

{{header: convert to WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: Also, football announcing has become a bit wordier, what with 4.2 yoctospaceflukes to the yard}}

#868; The Perils of Joining Up transcribed by in

[[Floating whale speaks to two men, one bald and one in a hat.]]

Narration: EARTH PLEDGES FEALTY TO THE DUSTY SPACE WHALE
Dusty Space Whale: Okay, as subjects of my pod, humans will get CURES to all diseases, PREFERRED interstellar trade terms, and PRE-RELEASE access to ALL television shows that will EVER be created.
Hat man: Yes please

Dusty Space Whale: You’ll also get universal WHALE PASSPORTS allowing unfettered travel between the stars, and become part of the UNIFIED GALACTIC SCIENTIFIC CONSORTIUM, the largest collection of SHARED SCIENTIFIC DATA in the universe.
Hat man: omg omg omg

Dusty Space Whale: To STANDARDIZE matters, however, you;ll have to adopt our universal currency and units of measurement. Just to make things easier, surely you understand.
Hat man: Oh, of course! absolutely! No problem at all!
Bald man: Bring it on! We’re ready!

[[The market]]
Gentleman #1: Hey Earl, let me get 0.00004 starplanktons worth of strawberries.
Gentleman #2: Sure, that’ll be three and a half zeptospacebaleen. CASH or KRILL?

{{header: convert to WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: Also, football announcing has become a bit wordier, what with 4.2 yoctospaceflukes to the yard}}

#868; The Perils of Joining Up transcribed by in

[[Floating whale speaks to two men, one bald and one in a hat.]]

Narration: EARTH PLEDGES FEALTY TO THE DUSTY SPACE WHALE
Dusty Space Whale: Okay, as subjects of my pod, humans will get CURES to all diseases, PREFERRED interstellar trade terms, and PRE-RELEASE access to ALL television shows that will EVER be created.
Hat man: Yes please

Dusty Space Whale: You'll also get universal WHALE PASSPORTS allowing unfettered travel between the stars, and become part of the UNIFIED GALACTIC SCIENTIFIC CONSORTIUM, the largest collection of SHARED SCIENTIFIC DATA in the universe.
Hat man: omg omg omg

Dusty Space Whale: To STANDARDIZE matters, however, you;ll have to adopt our universal currency and units of measurement. Just to make things easier, surely you understand.
Hat man: Oh, of course! absolutely! No problem at all!
Bald man: Bring it on! We're ready!

[[The market]]
Gentleman #1: Hey Earl, let me get 0.00004 starplanktons worth of strawberries.
Gentleman #2: Sure, that'll be three and a half zeptospacebaleen. CASH or KRILL?

{{header: convert to WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: Also, football announcing has become a bit wordier, what with 4.2 yoctospaceflukes to the yard}}

Also football announcing has become a bit wordier, what with 4.2 yoctospaceflukes to the yard.

Bolted! Fulfillment Update

Photo courtesy of backer Nicola!

The vast majority of Bolted! game shipments are already shipped, but I understand if you don’t have yours yet, who cares. Here’s a progress report:

Total orders | 1052
Surveys completed | 992
Fully shipped | 946

Incomplete surveys

Obviously, if I don’t have your shipping address, I can’t ship your game! Let me know if you are missing a survey link. As new responses come in, they are rapidly added to the shipping queue.

Orders containing certain add-ons

Some of the add-ons proved more popular than expected — which is lovely! But it meant I had to reprint some stickers, make all the individual comic prints, request a shipment of books from offsite storage, etc, etc. So, any orders which contain an out-of-stock item are still waiting to ship.

All that missing stuff, though, is en route to me at this very second! So those orders will be going out pretty dang soon!

Custom items

I’ve already been in touch directly with the backers who ordered custom collages! Those will be created (and sent to you) after all the other shipments are complete. I’m excited for those, they’ll be fun! My pleasant dessert after the hearty meal of all the other orders.

Anything wrong?

I’m very grateful to the few folks who’ve contacted me to report some kind of issue with their shipment! Thankfully, problems are rare, but when they do occur, I would like to solve them. Please don’t hesitate to send me an email (replying to your shipping confirmation works great) if there’s anything about your order I can correct.

Reviews & photos

On BoardGameGeek are highly appreciated!

Unless you hate the game! You are entitled to that opinion, but please send that review directly to me instead of telling anyone else, so I can eat it and bury it in the yard and watch it grow into a twisted, gnarled tree. Or whatever!


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