Comic Transcripts

[[Two women are in a kitchen. Woman 1 is cooking with a frying pan over a stove. Woman 2 is working at a table nearby.]]

Woman 1: Look! I take a runny, slimy egg. Inedible, you say? I shall expose it to fire! Aha! The egg is now firm! The very same egg!

Woman 1: This bacon is likewise soft and horrible. Yet observe how I turn it delicious! Nonstop crackling and popping! The classic smell of breakfast! A veritable fireworks show of grease! All from an inert piece of meat! I’ll never tell how it’s done!

Woman 1: [[from off-panel, Woman 2 is in panel]] Easy, you say. Child’s play, you might think. But what about this! A pile of raw hashed potatoes, completely white, as you’d expect. But watch carefully! I’ve always loved your brown eyes, my dear… Would you like potatoes to match? Kapow! No mirrors, no tricks! The potatoes have genuinely turned brown!

Woman 2: I do believe I understand how cooking works, yes.
Woman 1: You may call it cooking but I call it wizardry

{{header: fry up some WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: for the last time, it’s not a ‘cauldron,’ it’s just a ‘saucepan’}}

#867; That Ol’ Kitchen Magic transcribed by in

[[Two women are in a kitchen. Woman 1 is cooking with a frying pan over a stove. Woman 2 is working at a table nearby.]]

Woman 1: Look! I take a runny, slimy egg. Inedible, you say? I shall expose it to fire! Aha! The egg is now firm! The very same egg!

Woman 1: This bacon is likewise soft and horrible. Yet observe how I turn it delicious! Nonstop crackling and popping! The classic smell of breakfast! A veritable fireworks show of grease! All from an inert piece of meat! I’ll never tell how it’s done!

Woman 1: [[from off-panel, Woman 2 is in panel]] Easy, you say. Child’s play, you might think. But what about this! A pile of raw hashed potatoes, completely white, as you’d expect. But watch carefully! I’ve always loved your brown eyes, my dear… Would you like potatoes to match? Kapow! No mirrors, no tricks! The potatoes have genuinely turned brown!

Woman 2: I do believe I understand how cooking works, yes.
Woman 1: You may call it cooking but I call it wizardry

{{header: fry up some WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: for the last time, it’s not a ‘cauldron,’ it’s just a ‘saucepan’}}

#867; That Ol’ Kitchen Magic transcribed by in

[[Two women are in a kitchen. Woman 1 is cooking with a frying pan over a stove. Woman 2 is working at a table nearby.]]

Woman 1: Look! I take a runny, slimy egg. Inedible, you say? I shall expose it to fire! Aha! The egg is now firm! The very same egg!

Woman 1: This bacon is likewise soft and horrible. Yet observe how I turn it delicious! Nonstop crackling and popping! The classic smell of breakfast! A veritable fireworks show of grease! All from an inert piece of meat! I'll never tell how it's done!

Woman 1: [[from off-panel, Woman 2 is in panel]] Easy, you say. Child's play, you might think. But what about this! A pile of raw hashed potatoes, completely white, as you'd expect. But watch carefully! I've always loved your brown eyes, my dear... Would you like potatoes to match? Kapow! No mirrors, no tricks! The potatoes have genuinely turned brown!

Woman 2: I do believe I understand how cooking works, yes.
Woman 1: You may call it cooking but I call it wizardry

{{header: fry up some WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: for the last time, it's not a 'cauldron,' it's just a 'saucepan'}}

for the last time, it's not a 'cauldron,' it's just a 'saucepan'

#867; That Ol’ Kitchen Magic

  — September 7th, 2012

[ Tags: , ]       Permalink: https://wondermark.com/c/867/

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Applications open for Genius Northwest – an IRL gaming competition

May 8, 2026 by David Malki !

Last year, I participated in Genius Northwest, a gaming competition inspired by the Korean gameshow The Genius and its ilk.

It’s a reality show without the cameras — a 3-day, all-inclusive weekend retreat structured around a series of challenges and puzzles, in which personalities and dealmaking matter as much as playing games.

It’s truly a remarkable thing. I came in dead last in the competition, but I still had a great time participating.

The event is held annually in the Pacific Northwest (hence the name) and applications are now open to participate in the 2026 competition!

Learn more — and apply — at GeniusNW.com.


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