Comic Transcripts

ELLEN: Hey. Come help me wash the car?
NABIL: WASHING the CAR! How DECADENT! So GREAT that you have NO more pressing problems than making sure your GIANT OPTIONAL MACHINE is free of SPECKS of DUST!

NABIL: Meanwhile I have SEVERE BIOLOGICAL IMPERATIVES to contend with. I don’t have the luxury of having everything below “car” on the hierarchy of needs taken care of. I’m HUNGRY. I’m COLD. I’m TIRED. I have to go to the BATHROOM. Please, allow me to address my body’s needs before I help with your ego’s.

NABIL [[leaving]]: HMPF!

[[TWENTY YEARS LATER]]
ELLEN: ?and when I finally found him, he’d fallen asleep on the toilet with his teeth still stuck in a turkey leg!
NABIL: Oh for crying out loud THIS STORY AGAIN

{{header: the importance of WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: He had also wrapped himself in a bath towel but that had somehow fallen into the toilet and clogged it. Oh I’m sorry am I DISGUSTING you with tales of your GRANDFATHER’S TOILET MISADVENTURE, CHILDREN??}}

#758; Take Care of Yourself transcribed by in

ELLEN: Hey. Come help me wash the car?
NABIL: WASHING the CAR! How DECADENT! So GREAT that you have NO more pressing problems than making sure your GIANT OPTIONAL MACHINE is free of SPECKS of DUST!

NABIL: Meanwhile I have SEVERE BIOLOGICAL IMPERATIVES to contend with. I don’t have the luxury of having everything below “car” on the hierarchy of needs taken care of. I’m HUNGRY. I’m COLD. I’m TIRED. I have to go to the BATHROOM. Please, allow me to address my body’s needs before I help with your ego’s.

NABIL [[leaving]]: HMPF!

[[TWENTY YEARS LATER]]
ELLEN: ?and when I finally found him, he’d fallen asleep on the toilet with his teeth still stuck in a turkey leg!
NABIL: Oh for crying out loud THIS STORY AGAIN

{{header: the importance of WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: He had also wrapped himself in a bath towel but that had somehow fallen into the toilet and clogged it. Oh I’m sorry am I DISGUSTING you with tales of your GRANDFATHER’S TOILET MISADVENTURE, CHILDREN??}}

#758; Take Care of Yourself transcribed by in

ELLEN: Hey. Come help me wash the car?
NABIL: WASHING the CAR! How DECADENT! So GREAT that you have NO more pressing problems than making sure your GIANT OPTIONAL MACHINE is free of SPECKS of DUST!

NABIL: Meanwhile I have SEVERE BIOLOGICAL IMPERATIVES to contend with. I don't have the luxury of having everything below "car" on the hierarchy of needs taken care of. I'm HUNGRY. I'm COLD. I'm TIRED. I have to go to the BATHROOM. Please, allow me to address my body's needs before I help with your ego's.

NABIL [[leaving]]: HMPF!

[[TWENTY YEARS LATER]]
ELLEN: ?and when I finally found him, he'd fallen asleep on the toilet with his teeth still stuck in a turkey leg!
NABIL: Oh for crying out loud THIS STORY AGAIN

{{header: the importance of WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: He had also wrapped himself in a bath towel but that had somehow fallen into the toilet and clogged it. Oh I'm sorry am I DISGUSTING you with tales of your GRANDFATHER'S TOILET MISADVENTURE, CHILDREN??}}

He had also wrapped himself in a bath towel but that had somehow fallen into the toilet and clogged it. Oh I'm sorry am I DISGUSTING you with tales of your GRANDFATHER'S TOILET MISADVENTURE, CHILDREN??

#758; Take Care of Yourself

  — September 22nd, 2011

[ Tags: , , ]       Permalink: https://wondermark.com/c/758/

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Applications open for Genius Northwest – an IRL gaming competition

May 8, 2026 by David Malki !

Last year, I participated in Genius Northwest, a gaming competition inspired by the Korean gameshow The Genius and its ilk.

It’s a reality show without the cameras — a 3-day, all-inclusive weekend retreat structured around a series of challenges and puzzles, in which personalities and dealmaking matter as much as playing games.

It’s truly a remarkable thing. I came in dead last in the competition, but I still had a great time participating.

The event is held annually in the Pacific Northwest (hence the name) and applications are now open to participate in the 2026 competition!

Learn more — and apply — at GeniusNW.com.


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