Comic Transcripts

MISS BUTTERBEAN: Susie? Where’s your essay?
SUSIE: A piranhamoose ate my homework.

MISS BUTTERBEAN: A PIRANHAMOOSE? Wherever did you run into a piranhamoose? They’re ENDANGERED, you know.
SUSIE: My Dad has one. He keeps it in the cellar.

MISS BUTTERBEAN: If that’s TRUE, that’s a very serious federal crime. Are you prepared for me to report your Dad to the EPA?
SUSIE: Yes! PLEASE! It’s big and smelly and its poops are like wheelbarrow tires.
I’ve tried to call myself, but I’m, y’know, SEVEN.

[[Silent panel as MISS BUTTERBEAN considers this.]]

[[Later, a POLICEMAN takes SUSIE’S DAD away.]]
SUSIE’S DAD: SUSIE YOU FOOL!
WE COULD HAVE EATEN THAT THING FOR A YEAR!

{{Header: face off with WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{Alt-text: Will Susie become a ward of the state? OR OF THE PIRANHAMOOSE?}}

#568; In which Susie does not learn transcribed by in

MISS BUTTERBEAN: Susie? Where’s your essay?
SUSIE: A piranhamoose ate my homework.

MISS BUTTERBEAN: A PIRANHAMOOSE? Wherever did you run into a piranhamoose? They’re ENDANGERED, you know.
SUSIE: My Dad has one. He keeps it in the cellar.

MISS BUTTERBEAN: If that’s TRUE, that’s a very serious federal crime. Are you prepared for me to report your Dad to the EPA?
SUSIE: Yes! PLEASE! It’s big and smelly and its poops are like wheelbarrow tires.
I’ve tried to call myself, but I’m, y’know, SEVEN.

[[Silent panel as MISS BUTTERBEAN considers this.]]

[[Later, a POLICEMAN takes SUSIE’S DAD away.]]
SUSIE’S DAD: SUSIE YOU FOOL!
WE COULD HAVE EATEN THAT THING FOR A YEAR!

{{Header: face off with WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{Alt-text: Will Susie become a ward of the state? OR OF THE PIRANHAMOOSE?}}

#568; In which Susie does not learn transcribed by in

MISS BUTTERBEAN: Susie? Where's your essay?
SUSIE: A piranhamoose ate my homework.

MISS BUTTERBEAN: A PIRANHAMOOSE? Wherever did you run into a piranhamoose? They're ENDANGERED, you know.
SUSIE: My Dad has one. He keeps it in the cellar.

MISS BUTTERBEAN: If that's TRUE, that's a very serious federal crime. Are you prepared for me to report your Dad to the EPA?
SUSIE: Yes! PLEASE! It's big and smelly and its poops are like wheelbarrow tires.
I've tried to call myself, but I'm, y'know, SEVEN.

[[Silent panel as MISS BUTTERBEAN considers this.]]

[[Later, a POLICEMAN takes SUSIE'S DAD away.]]
SUSIE'S DAD: SUSIE YOU FOOL!
WE COULD HAVE EATEN THAT THING FOR A YEAR!

{{Header: face off with WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{Alt-text: Will Susie become a ward of the state? OR OF THE PIRANHAMOOSE?}}

Will Susie become a ward of the state? OR OF THE PIRANHAMOOSE?

#568; In which Susie does not learn

  — November 6th, 2009

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Applications open for Genius Northwest – an IRL gaming competition

May 8, 2026 by David Malki !

Last year, I participated in Genius Northwest, a gaming competition inspired by the Korean gameshow The Genius and its ilk.

It’s a reality show without the cameras — a 3-day, all-inclusive weekend retreat structured around a series of challenges and puzzles, in which personalities and dealmaking matter as much as playing games.

It’s truly a remarkable thing. I came in dead last in the competition, but I still had a great time participating.

The event is held annually in the Pacific Northwest (hence the name) and applications are now open to participate in the 2026 competition!

Learn more — and apply — at GeniusNW.com.


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