Comic Transcripts

TEDDY (peering through his spyglass): Aaggh What in blazes is this nonsense?
MR. KABOB: I’m a thirteen-dollar, rubbery-tasting KABOB representing the captive-audience retail dining industry!
TEDDY: So YOU’RE the ones at airports and sports arenas raking customers over the coals for needing to EAT!
Eight-dollar hot dogs. Twenty-dollar cheese fries. Ten-buck gallons of soda made from FOUR CENTS’ worth of syrup. SHAMELESS!

TEDDY: When Burger King straight-out DOUBLES its prices in an airport terminal, you know what it tells the consumer?
“Out there in the world, if it wasn’t for those pesky MARKET FORCES keeping us down…if only we COULD charge nine dollars for a Whopper, well, by God, we WOULD.”
MR. KABOB: BLAH BLAH BLAH BOO-HOO CRYBABY wants everything for nothing. You know how EXPENSIVE it is to rent a retail stall at a major airport? If we charged street prices we’d be BROKE in a WEEK.

TEDDY: Really? THAT’S the reason that prices are so high?
MR. KABOB: To be fair, NO. It’s the thing that you said.

{{Header: talking meat at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{Alt-text: inching ever closer and then WHAM smacked with a spyglass and eaten}}

#449; In which ‘Food’ is placed in Quotes transcribed by in

TEDDY (peering through his spyglass): Aaggh What in blazes is this nonsense?
MR. KABOB: I’m a thirteen-dollar, rubbery-tasting KABOB representing the captive-audience retail dining industry!
TEDDY: So YOU’RE the ones at airports and sports arenas raking customers over the coals for needing to EAT!
Eight-dollar hot dogs. Twenty-dollar cheese fries. Ten-buck gallons of soda made from FOUR CENTS’ worth of syrup. SHAMELESS!

TEDDY: When Burger King straight-out DOUBLES its prices in an airport terminal, you know what it tells the consumer?
“Out there in the world, if it wasn’t for those pesky MARKET FORCES keeping us down…if only we COULD charge nine dollars for a Whopper, well, by God, we WOULD.”
MR. KABOB: BLAH BLAH BLAH BOO-HOO CRYBABY wants everything for nothing. You know how EXPENSIVE it is to rent a retail stall at a major airport? If we charged street prices we’d be BROKE in a WEEK.

TEDDY: Really? THAT’S the reason that prices are so high?
MR. KABOB: To be fair, NO. It’s the thing that you said.

{{Header: talking meat at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{Alt-text: inching ever closer and then WHAM smacked with a spyglass and eaten}}

#449; In which ‘Food’ is placed in Quotes transcribed by in

TEDDY (peering through his spyglass): Aaggh What in blazes is this nonsense?
MR. KABOB: I'm a thirteen-dollar, rubbery-tasting KABOB representing the captive-audience retail dining industry!
TEDDY: So YOU'RE the ones at airports and sports arenas raking customers over the coals for needing to EAT!
Eight-dollar hot dogs. Twenty-dollar cheese fries. Ten-buck gallons of soda made from FOUR CENTS' worth of syrup. SHAMELESS!

TEDDY: When Burger King straight-out DOUBLES its prices in an airport terminal, you know what it tells the consumer?
"Out there in the world, if it wasn't for those pesky MARKET FORCES keeping us down...if only we COULD charge nine dollars for a Whopper, well, by God, we WOULD."
MR. KABOB: BLAH BLAH BLAH BOO-HOO CRYBABY wants everything for nothing. You know how EXPENSIVE it is to rent a retail stall at a major airport? If we charged street prices we'd be BROKE in a WEEK.

TEDDY: Really? THAT'S the reason that prices are so high?
MR. KABOB: To be fair, NO. It's the thing that you said.

{{Header: talking meat at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{Alt-text: inching ever closer and then WHAM smacked with a spyglass and eaten}}

inching ever closer and then WHAM smacked with a spyglass and eaten

#449; In which ‘Food’ is placed in Quotes

  — October 7th, 2008

[ Tags: , , ]       Permalink: https://wondermark.com/c/449/

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Applications open for Genius Northwest – an IRL gaming competition

May 8, 2026 by David Malki !

Last year, I participated in Genius Northwest, a gaming competition inspired by the Korean gameshow The Genius and its ilk.

It’s a reality show without the cameras — a 3-day, all-inclusive weekend retreat structured around a series of challenges and puzzles, in which personalities and dealmaking matter as much as playing games.

It’s truly a remarkable thing. I came in dead last in the competition, but I still had a great time participating.

The event is held annually in the Pacific Northwest (hence the name) and applications are now open to participate in the 2026 competition!

Learn more — and apply — at GeniusNW.com.


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