Comic Transcripts

[[We see a commemorative plate on a stand. It’s decorated with an American flag and a bald eagle, and the legend THE CHOSEN LAND.]]
PARKER (offpanel): Look at that.
You KNOW it was designed by some callous jerk trying to cash in on honest folks’ patriotism.

[[Pan out to PARKER and DAVE doing something involving a ladle and a container inside a wooden frame.]]
PARKER: “Do you love America? Buy my worthless crap to prove it!”
DAVE: You don’t know that it was jerk-created!
What if the artist poured out his genuine feelings onto that plate?
Maybe there just happens to be a market of people wanting to express how much they share his sentiment!

PARKER: I guess I just wish more people would share MY sentiments.
DAVE: Well, who knows? Maybe they do!
Why not put out your OWN plate and see how it does?

[[Another commemorative plate, apparently PARKER’s. It says “EVERYONE PLEASE STOP BUYING SO MUCH WORTHLESS CRAP.”]]

{{Header: commemorate WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{Alt-text: sales are slow}}

#431; In which a Plate drives Parker to Anger transcribed by in

[[We see a commemorative plate on a stand. It’s decorated with an American flag and a bald eagle, and the legend THE CHOSEN LAND.]]
PARKER (offpanel): Look at that.
You KNOW it was designed by some callous jerk trying to cash in on honest folks’ patriotism.

[[Pan out to PARKER and DAVE doing something involving a ladle and a container inside a wooden frame.]]
PARKER: “Do you love America? Buy my worthless crap to prove it!”
DAVE: You don’t know that it was jerk-created!
What if the artist poured out his genuine feelings onto that plate?
Maybe there just happens to be a market of people wanting to express how much they share his sentiment!

PARKER: I guess I just wish more people would share MY sentiments.
DAVE: Well, who knows? Maybe they do!
Why not put out your OWN plate and see how it does?

[[Another commemorative plate, apparently PARKER’s. It says “EVERYONE PLEASE STOP BUYING SO MUCH WORTHLESS CRAP.”]]

{{Header: commemorate WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{Alt-text: sales are slow}}

#431; In which a Plate drives Parker to Anger transcribed by in

[[We see a commemorative plate on a stand. It's decorated with an American flag and a bald eagle, and the legend THE CHOSEN LAND.]]
PARKER (offpanel): Look at that.
You KNOW it was designed by some callous jerk trying to cash in on honest folks' patriotism.

[[Pan out to PARKER and DAVE doing something involving a ladle and a container inside a wooden frame.]]
PARKER: "Do you love America? Buy my worthless crap to prove it!"
DAVE: You don't know that it was jerk-created!
What if the artist poured out his genuine feelings onto that plate?
Maybe there just happens to be a market of people wanting to express how much they share his sentiment!

PARKER: I guess I just wish more people would share MY sentiments.
DAVE: Well, who knows? Maybe they do!
Why not put out your OWN plate and see how it does?

[[Another commemorative plate, apparently PARKER's. It says "EVERYONE PLEASE STOP BUYING SO MUCH WORTHLESS CRAP."]]

{{Header: commemorate WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{Alt-text: sales are slow}}

sales are slow

#431; In which a Plate drives Parker to Anger

  — August 5th, 2008

[ Tags: , , ]       Permalink: https://wondermark.com/c/431/

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Applications open for Genius Northwest – an IRL gaming competition

May 8, 2026 by David Malki !

Last year, I participated in Genius Northwest, a gaming competition inspired by the Korean gameshow The Genius and its ilk.

It’s a reality show without the cameras — a 3-day, all-inclusive weekend retreat structured around a series of challenges and puzzles, in which personalities and dealmaking matter as much as playing games.

It’s truly a remarkable thing. I came in dead last in the competition, but I still had a great time participating.

The event is held annually in the Pacific Northwest (hence the name) and applications are now open to participate in the 2026 competition!

Learn more — and apply — at GeniusNW.com.


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