Comic Transcripts

SIMON: Hey, have any reporters shown up lately? TV trucks? Camera vans? Photojournalists who may also be arachnid-based superheroes? Anything like that?

ALLAN: Can’t really say so, no.
SIMON: Hmmm. I was expecting a better turnout.
ALLAN: What’s going on?
SIMON: Oh, nothing much…just setting some world records. I figured the media would be all over it.

ALLAN: What kind of records?
SIMON: Well, let’s see…
SIMON: This morning I became the first person in history to chew a single mouthful of oatmeal 3,290 times in my kitchen. First in HISTORY.
ALLAN: Have you sent out a press release?
SIMON: Naw, man. That’s been DONE.

{{header: be first at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: Simon would rather the Guinness book be utterly exhaustive. He would gladly read a 58,000-page edition.}}

#358; In which we’re all First at Something transcribed by in

SIMON: Hey, have any reporters shown up lately? TV trucks? Camera vans? Photojournalists who may also be arachnid-based superheroes? Anything like that?

ALLAN: Can't really say so, no.
SIMON: Hmmm. I was expecting a better turnout.
ALLAN: What's going on?
SIMON: Oh, nothing much...just setting some world records. I figured the media would be all over it.

ALLAN: What kind of records?
SIMON: Well, let's see...
SIMON: This morning I became the first person in history to chew a single mouthful of oatmeal 3,290 times in my kitchen. First in HISTORY.
ALLAN: Have you sent out a press release?
SIMON: Naw, man. That's been DONE.

{{header: be first at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: Simon would rather the Guinness book be utterly exhaustive. He would gladly read a 58,000-page edition.}}

Simon would rather the Guinness book be utterly exhaustive. He would gladly read a 58,000-page edition.

#358; In which we’re all First at Something

  — November 30th, 2007

[ Tags: , , ]       Permalink: https://wondermark.com/c/358/

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Applications open for Genius Northwest – an IRL gaming competition

May 8, 2026 by David Malki !

Last year, I participated in Genius Northwest, a gaming competition inspired by the Korean gameshow The Genius and its ilk.

It’s a reality show without the cameras — a 3-day, all-inclusive weekend retreat structured around a series of challenges and puzzles, in which personalities and dealmaking matter as much as playing games.

It’s truly a remarkable thing. I came in dead last in the competition, but I still had a great time participating.

The event is held annually in the Pacific Northwest (hence the name) and applications are now open to participate in the 2026 competition!

Learn more — and apply — at GeniusNW.com.


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