Comic Transcripts

[[Rain.]]
DOUG: Parking is gonna be awful at the mall today.
CHESTER: Then let’s take my car! I’ve got a disabled placard.
CHESTER: And, oh, man…it changes your life. You never want to go back to the before-times. It’s like getting TiVo.

DOUG: You’re not disabled! How’d you get the placard?
CHESTER: Some guys claim a mental condition. Others are hard-core and break their own kneecaps.
CHESTER: Me, I couldn’t find a doctor to sign me off…so I did the next best thing. I BECAME a doctor.

DOUG: There is NO way you have been to medical school.
CHESTER: I did look into it, but I couldn’t find a school that offered the one-week accelerated course I wanted.
CHESTER: So, long story short: my living room is now an accredited medical school.

DOUG: How in the world did you ever get accredited?
CHESTER: I just brought the certificate over from my garage. Oh, which is now an agency of accreditation.
DOUG: B-but how did your garage —
CHESTER: Let me just save you some time. It’s turtles all the way down.

{{header: keep going at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: Parking is an important issue to some.}}

#357; In which Mall Parking sucks transcribed by in

[[Rain.]]
DOUG: Parking is gonna be awful at the mall today.
CHESTER: Then let's take my car! I've got a disabled placard.
CHESTER: And, oh, man...it changes your life. You never want to go back to the before-times. It's like getting TiVo.

DOUG: You're not disabled! How'd you get the placard?
CHESTER: Some guys claim a mental condition. Others are hard-core and break their own kneecaps.
CHESTER: Me, I couldn't find a doctor to sign me off...so I did the next best thing. I BECAME a doctor.

DOUG: There is NO way you have been to medical school.
CHESTER: I did look into it, but I couldn't find a school that offered the one-week accelerated course I wanted.
CHESTER: So, long story short: my living room is now an accredited medical school.

DOUG: How in the world did you ever get accredited?
CHESTER: I just brought the certificate over from my garage. Oh, which is now an agency of accreditation.
DOUG: B-but how did your garage --
CHESTER: Let me just save you some time. It's turtles all the way down.

{{header: keep going at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: Parking is an important issue to some.}}

Parking is an important issue to some.

#357; In which Mall Parking sucks

  — November 27th, 2007

[ Tags: , , ]       Permalink: https://wondermark.com/c/357/

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Applications open for Genius Northwest – an IRL gaming competition

May 8, 2026 by David Malki !

Last year, I participated in Genius Northwest, a gaming competition inspired by the Korean gameshow The Genius and its ilk.

It’s a reality show without the cameras — a 3-day, all-inclusive weekend retreat structured around a series of challenges and puzzles, in which personalities and dealmaking matter as much as playing games.

It’s truly a remarkable thing. I came in dead last in the competition, but I still had a great time participating.

The event is held annually in the Pacific Northwest (hence the name) and applications are now open to participate in the 2026 competition!

Learn more — and apply — at GeniusNW.com.


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