Comic Transcripts

[[A woman, GERTRUDO, sits at the dinner table table with a young girl, TIFFANORIA, who is seated in a chair]]

GERTRUDO: Can you finish your veggies? Veggies help us grow up big and strong!
TIFFANORIA: GROW UP? Why would I want to do THAT? I’m good now!

GERTRUDO: I’ve got everything I need! I have YOUTUBE and my ROOM and all my STUFF… I get BOSSED AROUND a little, but that’s not a bad tradeoff

GERTRUDO: You can do all kinds of things when you grow up! You can drive!
TIFFANORIA: I don’t want to GO anywhere!
GERTRUDO: You can get a job and earn money!
TIFFANORIA: A JOB? That thing you HATE?
GERTRUDO: You can BECOME ANYTHING you want to be!
TIFFANORIA: I want to be ME, right NOW, right HERE!

TIFFANORIA: If you’re contemplating DEPRIVING me of something to PUNISH me, I would consider that CRUEL.
GERTRUDO: I’m trying to figure out how to INSPIRE you to CARE about bettering yourself.
TIFFANORIA: I CAN’T “better” myself! I’m already GREAT!

{{header: start small at WONDERMARK.COM}}

#1583; Groan Up transcribed by in

[[A woman, GERTRUDO, sits at the dinner table table with a young girl, TIFFANORIA, who is seated in a chair]]

GERTRUDO: Can you finish your veggies? Veggies help us grow up big and strong!
TIFFANORIA: GROW UP? Why would I want to do THAT? I'm good now!

GERTRUDO: I've got everything I need! I have YOUTUBE and my ROOM and all my STUFF... I get BOSSED AROUND a little, but that's not a bad tradeoff

GERTRUDO: You can do all kinds of things when you grow up! You can drive!
TIFFANORIA: I don't want to GO anywhere!
GERTRUDO: You can get a job and earn money!
TIFFANORIA: A JOB? That thing you HATE?
GERTRUDO: You can BECOME ANYTHING you want to be!
TIFFANORIA: I want to be ME, right NOW, right HERE!

TIFFANORIA: If you're contemplating DEPRIVING me of something to PUNISH me, I would consider that CRUEL.
GERTRUDO: I'm trying to figure out how to INSPIRE you to CARE about bettering yourself.
TIFFANORIA: I CAN'T "better" myself! I'm already GREAT!

{{header: start small at WONDERMARK.COM}}

I mean, sure, veggies 'help' us grow up, but the direct causality implied here would be trivial to refute. A determined objector will easily find flaws in the reasoning.

Bolted! Fulfillment Update

Photo courtesy of backer Nicola!

The vast majority of Bolted! game shipments are already shipped, but I understand if you don’t have yours yet, who cares. Here’s a progress report:

Total orders | 1052
Surveys completed | 992
Fully shipped | 946

Incomplete surveys

Obviously, if I don’t have your shipping address, I can’t ship your game! Let me know if you are missing a survey link. As new responses come in, they are rapidly added to the shipping queue.

Orders containing certain add-ons

Some of the add-ons proved more popular than expected — which is lovely! But it meant I had to reprint some stickers, make all the individual comic prints, request a shipment of books from offsite storage, etc, etc. So, any orders which contain an out-of-stock item are still waiting to ship.

All that missing stuff, though, is en route to me at this very second! So those orders will be going out pretty dang soon!

Custom items

I’ve already been in touch directly with the backers who ordered custom collages! Those will be created (and sent to you) after all the other shipments are complete. I’m excited for those, they’ll be fun! My pleasant dessert after the hearty meal of all the other orders.

Anything wrong?

I’m very grateful to the few folks who’ve contacted me to report some kind of issue with their shipment! Thankfully, problems are rare, but when they do occur, I would like to solve them. Please don’t hesitate to send me an email (replying to your shipping confirmation works great) if there’s anything about your order I can correct.

Reviews & photos

On BoardGameGeek are highly appreciated!

Unless you hate the game! You are entitled to that opinion, but please send that review directly to me instead of telling anyone else, so I can eat it and bury it in the yard and watch it grow into a twisted, gnarled tree. Or whatever!


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