Comic Transcripts

Two people, ARON and BEREN, are talking about Star Wars.

ARON: Way I figure it, the ORIGINAL trilogy “really happened.” Maybe sensationalized by the media somewhat, but basically an account of actual events.

A: The PREQUEL trilogy is an entertainment product FROM that universe, bearing as much relation to the actual rise and fall of Vader and the Empire as does DISNEY’S POCAHONTAS to the events IT attempts to portray.

A: A WAGNERIAN MELODRAMA airing constantly on daytime cable on the Outer Rim worlds.

B: This explains the soap-opera lighting.

B: And what about the new movie? Where does EPISODE SEVEN fit into this cosmology?

A: Episode Seven is Braveheart. Titanic. Michael Bay’s Pearl Harbor.

A: Episode Seven is a piece of in-universe media made by people who were born AFTER the fall of the Empire. It was intended to be a historical movie ABOUT the Rebellion, but SO MANY dramatic liberties were taken that they can’t QUITE label it a TRUE STORY.

B: Ah! The famous “Inspired by actual events.”

A: Right! Like, name a story that WASN’T, dude

#1187; It was A Long Time Ago transcribed by in

Two people, ARON and BEREN, are talking about Star Wars.

ARON: Way I figure it, the ORIGINAL trilogy "really happened." Maybe sensationalized by the media somewhat, but basically an account of actual events.

A: The PREQUEL trilogy is an entertainment product FROM that universe, bearing as much relation to the actual rise and fall of Vader and the Empire as does DISNEY'S POCAHONTAS to the events IT attempts to portray.

A: A WAGNERIAN MELODRAMA airing constantly on daytime cable on the Outer Rim worlds.

B: This explains the soap-opera lighting.

B: And what about the new movie? Where does EPISODE SEVEN fit into this cosmology?

A: Episode Seven is Braveheart. Titanic. Michael Bay's Pearl Harbor.

A: Episode Seven is a piece of in-universe media made by people who were born AFTER the fall of the Empire. It was intended to be a historical movie ABOUT the Rebellion, but SO MANY dramatic liberties were taken that they can't QUITE label it a TRUE STORY.

B: Ah! The famous "Inspired by actual events."

A: Right! Like, name a story that WASN'T, dude

Han and Chewie played themselves in THE FORCE AWAKENS like Jerry Lawler played himself in MAN ON THE MOON

#1187; It was A Long Time Ago

  — December 29th, 2015

[ Tags: , , , ]       Permalink: https://wondermark.com/c/1187/

Buy a Print

Applications open for Genius Northwest – an IRL gaming competition

May 8, 2026 by David Malki !

Last year, I participated in Genius Northwest, a gaming competition inspired by the Korean gameshow The Genius and its ilk.

It’s a reality show without the cameras — a 3-day, all-inclusive weekend retreat structured around a series of challenges and puzzles, in which personalities and dealmaking matter as much as playing games.

It’s truly a remarkable thing. I came in dead last in the competition, but I still had a great time participating.

The event is held annually in the Pacific Northwest (hence the name) and applications are now open to participate in the 2026 competition!

Learn more — and apply — at GeniusNW.com.


Recent blog posts