Comic Transcripts

[[A young boy is standing next to a strange vehicle, talking to his friend (possibly boyfriend). Smoke billows out of the contraption with the sound effect “GUPPA GUPPA GUPPA GUPPA”.]]
Inventor: Ahoy there! Finally got the ol’ beast working! The time is now, old man – are you in or are you out?

Friend: I’m out. We’re both out. We’re outside. We’re in the great outdoors. En plein air.
Inventor: No! In on the PLAN, old man – in on the SCHEME! Are you on board?
Friend: No one is on board. The craft is empty.
Inventor: Dratted brat, I’m asking are you coming?

[[The inventor is beginning to get upset.]]
Friend: I’m not coming. I’m standing. I’m immobile. Practically at rest.
Friend: Why would you think I’m coming? Am I growing larger in your vision? That sounds like a personal problem between you an’ your ophthalmologist
Inventor: HANG your TONGUE! I’ve got no gut for semantic foolishness. The beast and I will set forth at dawn. WILL YOU BE THERE?

[[The inventor is visibly irritated.]]
Friend: WHEREVER I will be at any time is by, definition, “here” just as any place I am NOT is, by definition, “there”
Inventor: Is this one of those deals where you don’t want to break up with me so instead you’re just making yourself insufferable so I’ll have to do it

{{header: the quest for WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: How To Break Up With Friends You’re Not Sure You’re Actually Friends With In The First Place But It Seems They Certainly Have That Idea}}

#1075; In which Idioms meet Idiot transcribed by in

[[A young boy is standing next to a strange vehicle, talking to his friend (possibly boyfriend). Smoke billows out of the contraption with the sound effect "GUPPA GUPPA GUPPA GUPPA".]]
Inventor: Ahoy there! Finally got the ol' beast working! The time is now, old man - are you in or are you out?

Friend: I'm out. We're both out. We're outside. We're in the great outdoors. En plein air.
Inventor: No! In on the PLAN, old man - in on the SCHEME! Are you on board?
Friend: No one is on board. The craft is empty.
Inventor: Dratted brat, I'm asking are you coming?

[[The inventor is beginning to get upset.]]
Friend: I'm not coming. I'm standing. I'm immobile. Practically at rest.
Friend: Why would you think I'm coming? Am I growing larger in your vision? That sounds like a personal problem between you an' your ophthalmologist
Inventor: HANG your TONGUE! I've got no gut for semantic foolishness. The beast and I will set forth at dawn. WILL YOU BE THERE?

[[The inventor is visibly irritated.]]
Friend: WHEREVER I will be at any time is by, definition, "here" just as any place I am NOT is, by definition, "there"
Inventor: Is this one of those deals where you don't want to break up with me so instead you're just making yourself insufferable so I'll have to do it

{{header: the quest for WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: How To Break Up With Friends You're Not Sure You're Actually Friends With In The First Place But It Seems They Certainly Have That Idea}}

How To Break Up With Friends You're Not Sure You're Actually Friends With In The First Place But It Seems They Certainly Have That Idea

#1075; In which Idioms meet Idiot

  — November 7th, 2014

[ Tags: , , ]       Permalink: https://wondermark.com/c/1075/

More comics featuring amazing devices:
• #875; The Passion Project, Year 10
• #749; In which Hubert becomes a Real Boy
• #770; Race to the Top
• #752; The Straw Man at Home
• #734; When Elbow Grease is Toxic
• The Tinkerer’s Handbook: Home-Build a Potato Injector
• #684; In which the Help is not helpful
• #666; In which a Patent is filed
• #617; A Day of Earnest Efforts
• #569; In which Bees converse
• #555; In which a Tool is improved
• #550; In which Salvation is summoned
• #538; In which Pipes continue to leak
• #519; In which we went Too Far
• #457; In which It’s All Over
• #408; In which it Works
• #260; In which a Plan ends poorly
• #190; In which the Future is Now

Buy a Print

New ways to get Bolted!

July 24, 2026 by David Malki !

In addition to buying things directly from me, the normal way, my game Bolted! is also now available on Amazon dot com.

On that famous website, you can also get the Creature-Crafting Magnets Set, which is made of the same artwork from the game, but is just a weird little trinket (not a playable game).

My kiddo made the elaborate version below to show off just how many magnets you get in the set (it’s 150 pieces in all — this isn’t even all of them).

Also now on Amazon is my set of Multi-Purpose Greeting Cards — a full dozen cards with envelopes in a fancy, unbranded, foil-stamped box!

Event alert!

I’ll also be showing off Bolted! at Greenwood Games, an event in Seattle this Saturday:

Greenwood Games is a free, all-ages community game event that invites players to spend the afternoon walking Greenwood Avenue from 65th to 80th, collecting clues, cracking puzzles, and discovering games made right here in Washington.

Think of it as Pride Hop, ArtWalk, and the Gumshoe all rolled into one,  except the whole thing is built around games and puzzles.​

Local game designers will be set up at different places along Greenwood Avenue in Phinney Ridge (near Ballard). My specific spot will be the “Holy Mountain Phinney Ridge Taproom”. All the information about all the different games & venues is on the website!

(If you’re in Seattle generally but not free tomorrow, Bolted! is also stocked at Blue Highway Games in Queen Anne.)

Next week, I’ll be at Gen Con! I personally will be hanging with my buddy Sam Logan at BFE Webcomics, booth #1217… but I have it on good authority that copies of Bolted! will be available at the CRWN Studios booth, #2549.

Visit one booth! Then the other! The order…is up to you.


Recent blog posts