Comic Transcripts

Two kids, ALFY and BARBO, are chatting. Barbo is standing on a set of stilts. This is not relevant.

ALFY: You ever get this from your parents? “Don’t worry, there’s nothing wrong with you, you’re perfectly normal…”

ALFY: I KNOW I am! Why are YOU bringing it up? What secret intel do YOU have about how I’m SUPPOSED to be feeling?

ALFY: Because I feel GREAT! Check your EXPECTATIONS!

BARBO: Grown-ups LIE to us, dude. Every other word my mom says is: “You’re great” – “We love you JUST the way you are” – “You’re the BEST YOU that you can be” – and so on.

BARBO: So I told her, “The person that I AM DOESN’T wear jackets, DOESN’T brush their teeth, and NEVER has to go to bed!”

A third child, CHARLEK, appears, holding a ball, which is also not relevant.

CHARLEK: Just last week, I was sick. My mom tried to give me MEDICINE. So I’m all “What was that BIG TALK about not wanting to CHANGE me?!”

BARBO: EXACTLY, dude!!

#1570; Of Integrity and Youth (Part 1) transcribed by in

Two kids, ALFY and BARBO, are chatting. Barbo is standing on a set of stilts. This is not relevant.

ALFY: You ever get this from your parents? "Don't worry, there's nothing wrong with you, you're perfectly normal..."

ALFY: I KNOW I am! Why are YOU bringing it up? What secret intel do YOU have about how I'm SUPPOSED to be feeling?

ALFY: Because I feel GREAT! Check your EXPECTATIONS!

BARBO: Grown-ups LIE to us, dude. Every other word my mom says is: "You're great" - "We love you JUST the way you are" - "You're the BEST YOU that you can be" - and so on.

BARBO: So I told her, "The person that I AM DOESN'T wear jackets, DOESN'T brush their teeth, and NEVER has to go to bed!"

A third child, CHARLEK, appears, holding a ball, which is also not relevant.

CHARLEK: Just last week, I was sick. My mom tried to give me MEDICINE. So I'm all "What was that BIG TALK about not wanting to CHANGE me?!"

BARBO: EXACTLY, dude!!

All this ''You really need to put shoes on or you'll be late for school'' talk sounds EXTREMELY critical of my well-known and long-established opinions of both school AND shoes!

My newest game: Noodle Battle! At PAX!

The past few weeks have been a frenzy of assembling the very laborious, very bespoke first print run of NOODLE BATTLE, the puzzle game I am releasing this weekend at PAX West in Seattle!

PAX has an event called the PNW Tabletop Game Market (Saturday night ONLY), which is a curated selection of short-run games from local designers. As I’ve mentioned in this space before, I applied for a space in this fall’s event mainly as a way to force myself to finish a new game. And here it is!

The drawings are all by Jason Poland, good pal and cartoonist of My Dad Is Dracula. Jason played an early version of this game at Alaska Robotics Comics Camp this spring, and really liked it!

So I said, “Do you want to help me make it?” And so he has! It was his idea to make all the characters fun little animals, and I think it adds a ton of charm.

Because this edition is limited-run, it has been incredibly labor-intensive to make! The boxes and cards were made by a game factory in the usual fashion, but separately. The blank tiles were made by a woodworker dude out of Connecticut. For each game, we have had to:

  • Cut a piece of plastic and install the box window
  • Paint all the tiles, hundreds at a time
  • Apply a sticker to both sides of every tile
  • Apply stickers to the box (we couldn’t get the box back printed in time, so the whole back side of the box is a sticker too)
  • Apply the “Nutrition Facts” sticker, which was a late suggestion by my kid that I just had to run with
  • Fold up the rule sheet (they come from the printer as big strips of paper)
  • Put all the components into the box and seal it all up

I knew it would be a lot of work and would require some inefficient, expensive compromises AND I WAS RIGHT. But the final product is turning out great, which is the important thing!!

I will have 50 copies with me (if all goes well) at PAX, and then between now and the holidays we will be putting together additional copies to round out this first edition.

I will announce additional copies on Patreon first, once they are available online!! And here too, naturally, before long.

You can also sign up here if you’d like me to email you once the game is available online!


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