Comic Transcripts

[[A man in a crumpled hat and another in a straw hat are sitting at a yard sale, selling various goods.]]
Crumple: It’s so humbling, isn’t it?
Crumple: Years of possessions, spread out for strangers to inspect and reject
Crumple: Look at that guy. He doesn’t know how amazing that book is. He doesn’t care! He’ll never know! His loss!

Crumple: Come ON, people! That candle’s only half burned down! That seed packet could probably become FOOD, after some elaborate process!
Crumple: Surely there’s still SOME valuable info in the manual for Microsoft Office 2000!

Crumple: That armoire could be refinished! Those shelves are good scrap wood! Someone could disassemble that VCR and use its gears to make a brooch to sell on Etsy!
Crumple: Don’t sniff at my chair, you snob! That huge jelly stain doesn’t affect its STABILITY as a FUNCTIONAL CHAIR!

Straw: But YOU don’t want any of it either!
Straw: Why do you think anyone ELSE would want to fill their lives with random half-useful junk if YOU won’t?
Crumple: I REFUSE to believe I have the lowest standards of anyone in this neighborhood!

{{header: come see our WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: I’m sure we live near SOME Mad-Max-like scavenger living his or her life desperate to wring out my cast-off possessions for some hypothetical remnant-dregs of possible usefulness – BUT WE *HAD* TO SCHEDULE OUR SALE DURING BURNING MAN}}

#1060; The Whole Nine Yard Sale transcribed by in

[[A man in a crumpled hat and another in a straw hat are sitting at a yard sale, selling various goods.]]
Crumple: It's so humbling, isn't it?
Crumple: Years of possessions, spread out for strangers to inspect and reject
Crumple: Look at that guy. He doesn't know how amazing that book is. He doesn't care! He'll never know! His loss!

Crumple: Come ON, people! That candle's only half burned down! That seed packet could probably become FOOD, after some elaborate process!
Crumple: Surely there's still SOME valuable info in the manual for Microsoft Office 2000!

Crumple: That armoire could be refinished! Those shelves are good scrap wood! Someone could disassemble that VCR and use its gears to make a brooch to sell on Etsy!
Crumple: Don't sniff at my chair, you snob! That huge jelly stain doesn't affect its STABILITY as a FUNCTIONAL CHAIR!

Straw: But YOU don't want any of it either!
Straw: Why do you think anyone ELSE would want to fill their lives with random half-useful junk if YOU won't?
Crumple: I REFUSE to believe I have the lowest standards of anyone in this neighborhood!

{{header: come see our WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: I'm sure we live near SOME Mad-Max-like scavenger living his or her life desperate to wring out my cast-off possessions for some hypothetical remnant-dregs of possible usefulness - BUT WE *HAD* TO SCHEDULE OUR SALE DURING BURNING MAN}}

I'm sure we live near SOME Mad-Max-like scavenger living his or her life desperate to wring out my cast-off possessions for some hypothetical remnant-dregs of possible usefulness -- BUT WE *HAD* TO SCHEDULE OUR SALE DURING BURNING MAN

A note on the images that were used to make today’s comic — many came from Flickr via the Internet Archive! More info here.

Here’s more on the yard sale conundrum.

Applications open for Genius Northwest – an IRL gaming competition

Last year, I participated in Genius Northwest, a gaming competition inspired by the Korean gameshow The Genius and its ilk.

It’s a reality show without the cameras — a 3-day, all-inclusive weekend retreat structured around a series of challenges and puzzles, in which personalities and dealmaking matter as much as playing games.

It’s truly a remarkable thing. I came in dead last in the competition, but I still had a great time participating.

The event is held annually in the Pacific Northwest (hence the name) and applications are now open to participate in the 2026 competition!

Learn more — and apply — at GeniusNW.com.


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