#1029; The Children I Haven’t Had

Comic Transcripts

[[A well-dressed man in a suit and a scruffier-looking man in a bowler hat make conversation.]]
Suit: So, you and Molly have any kids yet?
Bowler: With MOLLY? No. I don’t have any kids with MOLLY.
Bowler: And if I have EVER had any kids at ALL, with Molly OR any hypothetical OTHER person, Molly definitely doesn’t KNOW about them.

Bowler: No kids that I LOVE and would want to BEAR MY FAMILY NAME, anyway.
Bowler: DEFINITELY no kids that I want to talk to YOU about.

[[Molly intervenes.]]
Bowler: I don’t know if you know what this is like, but… I have never had a child that I was PROUD of.
Bowler: And I have never seen a child of mine survive being dropped into the old well behind Patterson’s decrepit barn.
Bowler: Probably because, you see, I have NEVER had a child that was BORN HUMAN
Molly: Come here

Bowler: Everything I said was a factual statement!
Molly: Listen to me
Molly: My family is starting to suspect that you are WEIRD

{{header: make a little WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: Technically, I’ve never been to a funeral for your grandmother that I HAVEN’T ruined!}}

#1029; The Children I Haven’t Had transcribed by in

The vast majority of Bolted! game shipments are already shipped, but I understand if you don’t have yours yet, who cares. Here’s a progress report:

Total orders | 1052
Surveys completed | 992
Fully shipped | 946

Incomplete surveys

Obviously, if I don’t have your shipping address, I can’t ship your game! Let me know if you are missing a survey link. As new responses come in, they are rapidly added to the shipping queue.

Orders containing certain add-ons

Some of the add-ons proved more popular than expected — which is lovely! But it meant I had to reprint some stickers, make all the individual comic prints, request a shipment of books from offsite storage, etc, etc. So, any orders which contain an out-of-stock item are still waiting to ship.

All that missing stuff, though, is en route to me at this very second! So those orders will be going out pretty dang soon!

Custom items

I’ve already been in touch directly with the backers who ordered custom collages! Those will be created (and sent to you) after all the other shipments are complete. I’m excited for those, they’ll be fun! My pleasant dessert after the hearty meal of all the other orders.

Anything wrong?

I’m very grateful to the few folks who’ve contacted me to report some kind of issue with their shipment! Thankfully, problems are rare, but when they do occur, I would like to solve them. Please don’t hesitate to send me an email (replying to your shipping confirmation works great) if there’s anything about your order I can correct.

Reviews & photos

On BoardGameGeek are highly appreciated!

Unless you hate the game! You are entitled to that opinion, but please send that review directly to me instead of telling anyone else, so I can eat it and bury it in the yard and watch it grow into a twisted, gnarled tree. Or whatever!