Comic Transcripts

[[A faintly disgruntled-looking man stares into the distance. An unruly mane of hair protrudes from both sides of his wide-brimmed hat, which is pulled low over his forehead. His hands are shoved into the pockets of his coat, which he wears open over a double-breasted jacket or vest. His trousers may be tucked into the top of riding boots. He unquestionably sports a neckerchief. Behind him, a dog sits erect on its haunches, front paws held obediently in the air before it. Its shiny, dark coat and pointy ears resemble those of a Doberman Pinscher, although its muzzle and neck are shorter, more like a Rottweiler’s.]]
Man: You know what I want? Here’s what I want. I want, when you report a phone stolen, to be able to call up the provider and have them REMOTELY EXPLODE that device.
Dog: But wouldn’t having that capability leave open the door to abuse? Someone could hack in and blow up your phone! Or blow up a phone after selling it on the secondary market! I think it’s a pretty bad idea.
[[The man turns to face the dog, then silently turns away again.]]
Man: Some days I really regret asking that genie to give you the power of speech.
Dog: B-but then you wouldn’t get to hear all my OPINIONS!

{{header: think back to WONDERMARK.COM }}
{{alt-text: Wish number two was for there not to be a wish number three. “This is all I need,” he said, as the light of language comprehension slowly crept like a rising dawn across Buster’s big brown eyes. “This is all I need, forever.”}}

#938; In which a Dog’s got a Mouth transcribed by in

[[A faintly disgruntled-looking man stares into the distance. An unruly mane of hair protrudes from both sides of his wide-brimmed hat, which is pulled low over his forehead. His hands are shoved into the pockets of his coat, which he wears open over a double-breasted jacket or vest. His trousers may be tucked into the top of riding boots. He unquestionably sports a neckerchief. Behind him, a dog sits erect on its haunches, front paws held obediently in the air before it. Its shiny, dark coat and pointy ears resemble those of a Doberman Pinscher, although its muzzle and neck are shorter, more like a Rottweiler’s.]]
Man: You know what I want? Here’s what I want. I want, when you report a phone stolen, to be able to call up the provider and have them REMOTELY EXPLODE that device.
Dog: But wouldn’t having that capability leave open the door to abuse? Someone could hack in and blow up your phone! Or blow up a phone after selling it on the secondary market! I think it’s a pretty bad idea.
[[The man turns to face the dog, then silently turns away again.]]
Man: Some days I really regret asking that genie to give you the power of speech.
Dog: B-but then you wouldn’t get to hear all my OPINIONS!

{{header: think back to WONDERMARK.COM }}
{{alt-text: Wish number two was for there not to be a wish number three. “This is all I need,” he said, as the light of language comprehension slowly crept like a rising dawn across Buster’s big brown eyes. “This is all I need, forever.”}}

#938; In which a Dog’s got a Mouth transcribed by in

[[A faintly disgruntled-looking man stares into the distance. An unruly mane of hair protrudes from both sides of his wide-brimmed hat, which is pulled low over his forehead. His hands are shoved into the pockets of his coat, which he wears open over a double-breasted jacket or vest. His trousers may be tucked into the top of riding boots. He unquestionably sports a neckerchief. Behind him, a dog sits erect on its haunches, front paws held obediently in the air before it. Its shiny, dark coat and pointy ears resemble those of a Doberman Pinscher, although its muzzle and neck are shorter, more like a Rottweiler's.]]
Man: You know what I want? Here's what I want. I want, when you report a phone stolen, to be able to call up the provider and have them REMOTELY EXPLODE that device.
Dog: But wouldn't having that capability leave open the door to abuse? Someone could hack in and blow up your phone! Or blow up a phone after selling it on the secondary market! I think it's a pretty bad idea.
[[The man turns to face the dog, then silently turns away again.]]
Man: Some days I really regret asking that genie to give you the power of speech.
Dog: B-but then you wouldn't get to hear all my OPINIONS!

{{header: think back to WONDERMARK.COM }}
{{alt-text: Wish number two was for there not to be a wish number three. "This is all I need," he said, as the light of language comprehension slowly crept like a rising dawn across Buster's big brown eyes. "This is all I need, forever."}}

Wish number two was for there not to be a wish number three. ''This is all I need,'' he said, as the light of language comprehension slowly crept like a rising dawn across Buster's big brown eyes. ''This is all I need, forever.''

Applications open for Genius Northwest – an IRL gaming competition

Last year, I participated in Genius Northwest, a gaming competition inspired by the Korean gameshow The Genius and its ilk.

It’s a reality show without the cameras — a 3-day, all-inclusive weekend retreat structured around a series of challenges and puzzles, in which personalities and dealmaking matter as much as playing games.

It’s truly a remarkable thing. I came in dead last in the competition, but I still had a great time participating.

The event is held annually in the Pacific Northwest (hence the name) and applications are now open to participate in the 2026 competition!

Learn more — and apply — at GeniusNW.com.


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