Comic Transcripts

[[A woman, GERTRUDO, sits at the dinner table table with a young girl, TIFFANORIA, who is seated in a chair]]

GERTRUDO: Can you finish your veggies? Veggies help us grow up big and strong!
TIFFANORIA: GROW UP? Why would I want to do THAT? I’m good now!

GERTRUDO: I’ve got everything I need! I have YOUTUBE and my ROOM and all my STUFF… I get BOSSED AROUND a little, but that’s not a bad tradeoff

GERTRUDO: You can do all kinds of things when you grow up! You can drive!
TIFFANORIA: I don’t want to GO anywhere!
GERTRUDO: You can get a job and earn money!
TIFFANORIA: A JOB? That thing you HATE?
GERTRUDO: You can BECOME ANYTHING you want to be!
TIFFANORIA: I want to be ME, right NOW, right HERE!

TIFFANORIA: If you’re contemplating DEPRIVING me of something to PUNISH me, I would consider that CRUEL.
GERTRUDO: I’m trying to figure out how to INSPIRE you to CARE about bettering yourself.
TIFFANORIA: I CAN’T “better” myself! I’m already GREAT!

{{header: start small at WONDERMARK.COM}}

#1583; Groan Up transcribed by in

[[A woman, GERTRUDO, sits at the dinner table table with a young girl, TIFFANORIA, who is seated in a chair]]

GERTRUDO: Can you finish your veggies? Veggies help us grow up big and strong!
TIFFANORIA: GROW UP? Why would I want to do THAT? I'm good now!

GERTRUDO: I've got everything I need! I have YOUTUBE and my ROOM and all my STUFF... I get BOSSED AROUND a little, but that's not a bad tradeoff

GERTRUDO: You can do all kinds of things when you grow up! You can drive!
TIFFANORIA: I don't want to GO anywhere!
GERTRUDO: You can get a job and earn money!
TIFFANORIA: A JOB? That thing you HATE?
GERTRUDO: You can BECOME ANYTHING you want to be!
TIFFANORIA: I want to be ME, right NOW, right HERE!

TIFFANORIA: If you're contemplating DEPRIVING me of something to PUNISH me, I would consider that CRUEL.
GERTRUDO: I'm trying to figure out how to INSPIRE you to CARE about bettering yourself.
TIFFANORIA: I CAN'T "better" myself! I'm already GREAT!

{{header: start small at WONDERMARK.COM}}

I mean, sure, veggies 'help' us grow up, but the direct causality implied here would be trivial to refute. A determined objector will easily find flaws in the reasoning.

#1583; Groan Up

  — April 4th, 2026

[ Tags: , , ]       Permalink: https://wondermark.com/c/1583/

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Bolted! Shipping is UNDERWAY

April 4, 2026 by David Malki !

Bolted! games have been shipping to backers over the last couple of weeks! The non-US orders are (mostly) done and some folks have been reporting receiving them already!

@davidmalki.com My game arrived today!! It looks gorgeous 🙂 Hope you are well 🙂

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— Lar deSouza (@lartist.bsky.social) April 2, 2026 at 2:52 PM

My US inventory of games is now in-country, but still being staged at the fulfillment centers. It’s being distributed to regional warehouses, so the actual shipping to backers happens more efficiently. I hope the bulk of US shipping will start next week.

These are what the cartons (and games) look like!

bolted! games BOLTED! GAMES (pounding the table) B O L T E D ! G A M E S

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— david malki ! (@davidmalki.com) April 3, 2026 at 10:37 AM

I am also waiting on the bonus cards to be finished printing! I ended up needing many more of those than I had anticipated, so I decided to have the game factory print those too, for perfect matching with the base game cards.

Most people will be receiving two separate mailings: the game itself, and “anything else” (bonus cards and/or add-ons) which will be sent by me personally.

As of today, 86% of backers have completed their surveys so far! That’s pretty good, but it’s not everyone. I know YOU PERSONALLY have already completed YOURS though, so no worries!!

We have now moved OFF of Kickstarter and ONTO BackerKit for any new orders. You can bundle a game with basically anything else I sell on that there website, it’s pretty nuts!


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