Comic Transcripts

[[A woman who stands with her hand on her hip faces a laptop with an open window]]
Computer; Thank you for visiting yourwater.url, a handy way to track your home’s water usage! Please enter your account number, found on the top right corner of your water bill.
Woman; Okey Doke!
Computer; Now, to begin tracking your water usage, please create a username and password.

[[The laptop displays a prominent smaller Error window with an exclamation mark. The woman scrutinizes.]]
Computer; ERROR! Password must contain at least fourteen characters. ERROR! At least three characters must be nonconsecutive numbers. Two others must be symbols, one of which must be from the Korean character set.
Woman; Wat
Computer; No two-character sequences can match any two-character sequences in your username, account number, email address, or home address.

Computer; ERROR! This water account number already has a username associated with it.
Woman; ARRRGHHH
Computer; Forgot your password? We will send a verification email to: e*****5@walforth.edu
Woman; . . .Did I sign up for this in college and forget? What password would I have chosen involving Korean characters?

Computer; For your security, after two unsuccessful password attempts, your account will be disabled. NOTE: Disabling your account will turn off water service to your home.
Woman; Oh, For my security! BECAUSE SOMEONE MIGHT HACK IN TO CHECK MY WATER!

[[header: log on to Wondermark.com]]
[[alt-text: The hacker furiously pounded his keyboard, sending Cheeto crumbs jumping. “Foiled again!” he roared, knocking over a half-empty bottle of warm Mtn. Dew. “I’ll NEVER figure out when she runs her dishwasher!”]]

#866; The World’s Most Secure Website transcribed by in

[[A woman who stands with her hand on her hip faces a laptop with an open window]]
Computer; Thank you for visiting yourwater.url, a handy way to track your home’s water usage! Please enter your account number, found on the top right corner of your water bill.
Woman; Okey Doke!
Computer; Now, to begin tracking your water usage, please create a username and password.

[[The laptop displays a prominent smaller Error window with an exclamation mark. The woman scrutinizes.]]
Computer; ERROR! Password must contain at least fourteen characters. ERROR! At least three characters must be nonconsecutive numbers. Two others must be symbols, one of which must be from the Korean character set.
Woman; Wat
Computer; No two-character sequences can match any two-character sequences in your username, account number, email address, or home address.

Computer; ERROR! This water account number already has a username associated with it.
Woman; ARRRGHHH
Computer; Forgot your password? We will send a verification email to: e*****5@walforth.edu
Woman; . . .Did I sign up for this in college and forget? What password would I have chosen involving Korean characters?

Computer; For your security, after two unsuccessful password attempts, your account will be disabled. NOTE: Disabling your account will turn off water service to your home.
Woman; Oh, For my security! BECAUSE SOMEONE MIGHT HACK IN TO CHECK MY WATER!

[[header: log on to Wondermark.com]]
[[alt-text: The hacker furiously pounded his keyboard, sending Cheeto crumbs jumping. “Foiled again!” he roared, knocking over a half-empty bottle of warm Mtn. Dew. “I’ll NEVER figure out when she runs her dishwasher!”]]

#866; The World’s Most Secure Website transcribed by in

[[A woman who stands with her hand on her hip faces a laptop with an open window]]
Computer; Thank you for visiting yourwater.url, a handy way to track your home's water usage! Please enter your account number, found on the top right corner of your water bill.
Woman; Okey Doke!
Computer; Now, to begin tracking your water usage, please create a username and password.

[[The laptop displays a prominent smaller Error window with an exclamation mark. The woman scrutinizes.]]
Computer; ERROR! Password must contain at least fourteen characters. ERROR! At least three characters must be nonconsecutive numbers. Two others must be symbols, one of which must be from the Korean character set.
Woman; Wat
Computer; No two-character sequences can match any two-character sequences in your username, account number, email address, or home address.

Computer; ERROR! This water account number already has a username associated with it.
Woman; ARRRGHHH
Computer; Forgot your password? We will send a verification email to: e*****5@walforth.edu
Woman; . . .Did I sign up for this in college and forget? What password would I have chosen involving Korean characters?

Computer; For your security, after two unsuccessful password attempts, your account will be disabled. NOTE: Disabling your account will turn off water service to your home.
Woman; Oh, For my security! BECAUSE SOMEONE MIGHT HACK IN TO CHECK MY WATER!

[[header: log on to Wondermark.com]]
[[alt-text: The hacker furiously pounded his keyboard, sending Cheeto crumbs jumping. "Foiled again!" he roared, knocking over a half-empty bottle of warm Mtn. Dew. "I'll NEVER figure out when she runs her dishwasher!"]]

The hacker furiously pounded his keyboard, sending Cheeto crumbs jumping. ''Foiled again!'' he roared, knocking over a half-empty bottle of warm Mtn. Dew. ''I'll NEVER figure out when she runs her dishwasher!''

#866; The World’s Most Secure Website

  — September 4th, 2012

[ Tags: , , , ]       Permalink: https://wondermark.com/c/866/

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My newest game: Noodle Battle! At PAX!

September 2, 2026 by David Malki !

The past few weeks have been a frenzy of assembling the very laborious, very bespoke first print run of NOODLE BATTLE, the puzzle game I am releasing this weekend at PAX West in Seattle!

PAX has an event called the PNW Tabletop Game Market (Saturday night ONLY), which is a curated selection of short-run games from local designers. As I’ve mentioned in this space before, I applied for a space in this fall’s event mainly as a way to force myself to finish a new game. And here it is!

The drawings are all by Jason Poland, good pal and cartoonist of My Dad Is Dracula. Jason played an early version of this game at Alaska Robotics Comics Camp this spring, and really liked it!

So I said, “Do you want to help me make it?” And so he has! It was his idea to make all the characters fun little animals, and I think it adds a ton of charm.

Because this edition is limited-run, it has been incredibly labor-intensive to make! The boxes and cards were made by a game factory in the usual fashion, but separately. The blank tiles were made by a woodworker dude out of Connecticut. For each game, we have had to:

  • Cut a piece of plastic and install the box window
  • Paint all the tiles, hundreds at a time
  • Apply a sticker to both sides of every tile
  • Apply stickers to the box (we couldn’t get the box back printed in time, so the whole back side of the box is a sticker too)
  • Apply the “Nutrition Facts” sticker, which was a late suggestion by my kid that I just had to run with
  • Fold up the rule sheet (they come from the printer as big strips of paper)
  • Put all the components into the box and seal it all up

I knew it would be a lot of work and would require some inefficient, expensive compromises AND I WAS RIGHT. But the final product is turning out great, which is the important thing!!

I will have 50 copies with me (if all goes well) at PAX, and then between now and the holidays we will be putting together additional copies to round out this first edition.

I will announce additional copies on Patreon first, once they are available online!! And here too, naturally, before long.

You can also sign up here if you’d like me to email you once the game is available online!


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