Comic Transcripts

COLONEL: Sergeant! How’s it going over in the barracks?
SERGEANT: Rather GRIM, sir. Provisions are running short and the weather’s getting colder.

SERGEANT: The lads are holding up, but I know they’re a bit scared. These are just BOYS, sir. They miss their parents, their sweethearts. HOME.
Plus, for many of them, it’s their first Christmas away from their families. It’s rough on MORALE, sir.

SERGEANT: I was wondering…is there something we can DO, sir? For the lads? For CHRISTMAS?
ANYTHING, really.
COLONEL: CAPITAL idea, Sergeant!
Choose your eight hairiest boys to pull a sleigh. I shall play Santa.

COLONEL: In lieu of GIFTS I shall throw STONES. When stones are exhausted I shall throw ICE. We will continue until all present are unconscious.
SERGEANT: And if the ENEMY attacks, sir? While everyone is KNOCKED OUT by STONES?
COLONEL: That would hardly be SPORTING of them, Sergeant.

{{Header: ride around in WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{Alt-text: Ah! Our scouts report that the enemy commander is far too busy walloping his troops with a croquet-mallet to mount a proper offensive at the moment. Do invite him for tea}}

#581; In which the Captain partakes in Sport transcribed by in

COLONEL: Sergeant! How’s it going over in the barracks?
SERGEANT: Rather GRIM, sir. Provisions are running short and the weather’s getting colder.

SERGEANT: The lads are holding up, but I know they’re a bit scared. These are just BOYS, sir. They miss their parents, their sweethearts. HOME.
Plus, for many of them, it’s their first Christmas away from their families. It’s rough on MORALE, sir.

SERGEANT: I was wondering…is there something we can DO, sir? For the lads? For CHRISTMAS?
ANYTHING, really.
COLONEL: CAPITAL idea, Sergeant!
Choose your eight hairiest boys to pull a sleigh. I shall play Santa.

COLONEL: In lieu of GIFTS I shall throw STONES. When stones are exhausted I shall throw ICE. We will continue until all present are unconscious.
SERGEANT: And if the ENEMY attacks, sir? While everyone is KNOCKED OUT by STONES?
COLONEL: That would hardly be SPORTING of them, Sergeant.

{{Header: ride around in WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{Alt-text: Ah! Our scouts report that the enemy commander is far too busy walloping his troops with a croquet-mallet to mount a proper offensive at the moment. Do invite him for tea}}

#581; In which the Captain partakes in Sport transcribed by in

COLONEL: Sergeant! How's it going over in the barracks?
SERGEANT: Rather GRIM, sir. Provisions are running short and the weather's getting colder.

SERGEANT: The lads are holding up, but I know they're a bit scared. These are just BOYS, sir. They miss their parents, their sweethearts. HOME.
Plus, for many of them, it's their first Christmas away from their families. It's rough on MORALE, sir.

SERGEANT: I was wondering...is there something we can DO, sir? For the lads? For CHRISTMAS?
ANYTHING, really.
COLONEL: CAPITAL idea, Sergeant!
Choose your eight hairiest boys to pull a sleigh. I shall play Santa.

COLONEL: In lieu of GIFTS I shall throw STONES. When stones are exhausted I shall throw ICE. We will continue until all present are unconscious.
SERGEANT: And if the ENEMY attacks, sir? While everyone is KNOCKED OUT by STONES?
COLONEL: That would hardly be SPORTING of them, Sergeant.

{{Header: ride around in WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{Alt-text: Ah! Our scouts report that the enemy commander is far too busy walloping his troops with a croquet-mallet to mount a proper offensive at the moment. Do invite him for tea}}

Ah! Our scouts report that the enemy commander is far too busy walloping his troops with a croquet-mallet to mount a proper offensive at the moment. Do invite him for tea

#581; In which the Captain partakes in Sport

  — December 22nd, 2009

[ Tags: none ]       Permalink: https://wondermark.com/c/581/

Buy a Print

New ways to get Bolted!

July 24, 2026 by David Malki !

In addition to buying things directly from me, the normal way, my game Bolted! is also now available on Amazon dot com.

On that famous website, you can also get the Creature-Crafting Magnets Set, which is made of the same artwork from the game, but is just a weird little trinket (not a playable game).

My kiddo made the elaborate version below to show off just how many magnets you get in the set (it’s 150 pieces in all — this isn’t even all of them).

Also now on Amazon is my set of Multi-Purpose Greeting Cards — a full dozen cards with envelopes in a fancy, unbranded, foil-stamped box!

Event alert!

I’ll also be showing off Bolted! at Greenwood Games, an event in Seattle this Saturday:

Greenwood Games is a free, all-ages community game event that invites players to spend the afternoon walking Greenwood Avenue from 65th to 80th, collecting clues, cracking puzzles, and discovering games made right here in Washington.

Think of it as Pride Hop, ArtWalk, and the Gumshoe all rolled into one,  except the whole thing is built around games and puzzles.​

Local game designers will be set up at different places along Greenwood Avenue in Phinney Ridge (near Ballard). My specific spot will be the “Holy Mountain Phinney Ridge Taproom”. All the information about all the different games & venues is on the website!

(If you’re in Seattle generally but not free tomorrow, Bolted! is also stocked at Blue Highway Games in Queen Anne.)

Next week, I’ll be at Gen Con! I personally will be hanging with my buddy Sam Logan at BFE Webcomics, booth #1217… but I have it on good authority that copies of Bolted! will be available at the CRWN Studios booth, #2549.

Visit one booth! Then the other! The order…is up to you.


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