Comic Transcripts

COLONEL: Sergeant! How’s it going over in the barracks?
SERGEANT: Rather GRIM, sir. Provisions are running short and the weather’s getting colder.

SERGEANT: The lads are holding up, but I know they’re a bit scared. These are just BOYS, sir. They miss their parents, their sweethearts. HOME.
Plus, for many of them, it’s their first Christmas away from their families. It’s rough on MORALE, sir.

SERGEANT: I was wondering…is there something we can DO, sir? For the lads? For CHRISTMAS?
ANYTHING, really.
COLONEL: CAPITAL idea, Sergeant!
Choose your eight hairiest boys to pull a sleigh. I shall play Santa.

COLONEL: In lieu of GIFTS I shall throw STONES. When stones are exhausted I shall throw ICE. We will continue until all present are unconscious.
SERGEANT: And if the ENEMY attacks, sir? While everyone is KNOCKED OUT by STONES?
COLONEL: That would hardly be SPORTING of them, Sergeant.

{{Header: ride around in WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{Alt-text: Ah! Our scouts report that the enemy commander is far too busy walloping his troops with a croquet-mallet to mount a proper offensive at the moment. Do invite him for tea}}

#581; In which the Captain partakes in Sport transcribed by in

COLONEL: Sergeant! How’s it going over in the barracks?
SERGEANT: Rather GRIM, sir. Provisions are running short and the weather’s getting colder.

SERGEANT: The lads are holding up, but I know they’re a bit scared. These are just BOYS, sir. They miss their parents, their sweethearts. HOME.
Plus, for many of them, it’s their first Christmas away from their families. It’s rough on MORALE, sir.

SERGEANT: I was wondering…is there something we can DO, sir? For the lads? For CHRISTMAS?
ANYTHING, really.
COLONEL: CAPITAL idea, Sergeant!
Choose your eight hairiest boys to pull a sleigh. I shall play Santa.

COLONEL: In lieu of GIFTS I shall throw STONES. When stones are exhausted I shall throw ICE. We will continue until all present are unconscious.
SERGEANT: And if the ENEMY attacks, sir? While everyone is KNOCKED OUT by STONES?
COLONEL: That would hardly be SPORTING of them, Sergeant.

{{Header: ride around in WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{Alt-text: Ah! Our scouts report that the enemy commander is far too busy walloping his troops with a croquet-mallet to mount a proper offensive at the moment. Do invite him for tea}}

#581; In which the Captain partakes in Sport transcribed by in

COLONEL: Sergeant! How's it going over in the barracks?
SERGEANT: Rather GRIM, sir. Provisions are running short and the weather's getting colder.

SERGEANT: The lads are holding up, but I know they're a bit scared. These are just BOYS, sir. They miss their parents, their sweethearts. HOME.
Plus, for many of them, it's their first Christmas away from their families. It's rough on MORALE, sir.

SERGEANT: I was wondering...is there something we can DO, sir? For the lads? For CHRISTMAS?
ANYTHING, really.
COLONEL: CAPITAL idea, Sergeant!
Choose your eight hairiest boys to pull a sleigh. I shall play Santa.

COLONEL: In lieu of GIFTS I shall throw STONES. When stones are exhausted I shall throw ICE. We will continue until all present are unconscious.
SERGEANT: And if the ENEMY attacks, sir? While everyone is KNOCKED OUT by STONES?
COLONEL: That would hardly be SPORTING of them, Sergeant.

{{Header: ride around in WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{Alt-text: Ah! Our scouts report that the enemy commander is far too busy walloping his troops with a croquet-mallet to mount a proper offensive at the moment. Do invite him for tea}}

Ah! Our scouts report that the enemy commander is far too busy walloping his troops with a croquet-mallet to mount a proper offensive at the moment. Do invite him for tea

#581; In which the Captain partakes in Sport

  — December 22nd, 2009

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Applications open for Genius Northwest – an IRL gaming competition

May 8, 2026 by David Malki !

Last year, I participated in Genius Northwest, a gaming competition inspired by the Korean gameshow The Genius and its ilk.

It’s a reality show without the cameras — a 3-day, all-inclusive weekend retreat structured around a series of challenges and puzzles, in which personalities and dealmaking matter as much as playing games.

It’s truly a remarkable thing. I came in dead last in the competition, but I still had a great time participating.

The event is held annually in the Pacific Northwest (hence the name) and applications are now open to participate in the 2026 competition!

Learn more — and apply — at GeniusNW.com.


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