Comic Transcripts

The Electro-plasmic Hydrocephalic Genre-fiction Generator 2000
“The best of its type.”

START.
In a (n) { neo-noir, alternate-history, ancient, post-apocalyptic, dystopian, VR-simulated, metaphorical, anachronistic, leather-clad, coal-powered, dragon-filled, shrill | America, Japan, Soviet Russia, Victorian Britain, medieval Europe, Aztec empire, Atlantis, terraformed Mars, Antarctica, one-way spaceflight, Outer Rim world, set from Road Warrior,

a young { flying message courier, student of metaphysics, milquetoast office drone, schlub with mild OCD, farm boy with dreams, techno-obsessed geek, brooding loner, wise-cracking mercenary, idealistic revolutionary, journeyman inventor, collector of oddities, author self-insert

stumbles across a(n) { magic diadem, arcane prophecy, dusty tome, crazy old man, alien artifact, enchanted sword, otherworldly portal, dream-inducing drug, encrypted data feed, time-traveling soldier, exiled angel, talking fish

which spurs him into conflict with { a megalomaniacal dictator, a government conspiracy, a profit-obsessed corporation, a sneering wizard, supernatural monsters, computer viruses made real, murderous robots, an army led by a sadist, forces that encourage conformity, a charismatic politician on the rise, humanity’s selfish nature, his own insecurity vis-a-vis girls

with the help of a { sarcastic female techno-geek, tomboyish female mechanic, shape-shifting female assassin, leather-clad female in shades, girl who’s always loved him, bookish female scholar with mousy brown hair, cherubic girl with pigtails and spunk, female who inexplicably becomes attracted to the damaged protagonist for unstated reasons

and her { wacky pet, welding gear, closet full of assault rifles, reference book, cleavage, facility with magic, condescending tone, discomfort in formal wear, propensity for being captured,

culminating in { a fistfight atop a tower, a daring rescue preceding a giant explosion, a heroic sacrifice that no one will ever remember, a philosophical argument punctuated by violence, a false victory with the promise of future danger, the invocation of a spell at the last possible moment, eternal love professed without irony, the land restored to health, authorial preaching through the mouths of the characters, convoluted nonsense that squanders the readers’ goodwill, wish-fulfillment solutions to real-world problems, a cliffhanger for the sake of prompting a series.

Your title is: “The { Chrono, Neuro, Aero, Cosmo, Reve, Necro, Cyber, Astro, Psycho, Steam, Meta, Black | punk, mech, noiac, (o)poli, naut, phage, droid, bot, blade, tron, mancer, War} s.”

~ FINISHED.

{{header: tall tales at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: The generator weighs four thousand pounds and writes six hundred books a year.}}

#554; The Fiction Generator. transcribed by in

The Electro-plasmic Hydrocephalic Genre-fiction Generator 2000
“The best of its type.”

START.
In a (n) { neo-noir, alternate-history, ancient, post-apocalyptic, dystopian, VR-simulated, metaphorical, anachronistic, leather-clad, coal-powered, dragon-filled, shrill | America, Japan, Soviet Russia, Victorian Britain, medieval Europe, Aztec empire, Atlantis, terraformed Mars, Antarctica, one-way spaceflight, Outer Rim world, set from Road Warrior,

a young { flying message courier, student of metaphysics, milquetoast office drone, schlub with mild OCD, farm boy with dreams, techno-obsessed geek, brooding loner, wise-cracking mercenary, idealistic revolutionary, journeyman inventor, collector of oddities, author self-insert

stumbles across a(n) { magic diadem, arcane prophecy, dusty tome, crazy old man, alien artifact, enchanted sword, otherworldly portal, dream-inducing drug, encrypted data feed, time-traveling soldier, exiled angel, talking fish

which spurs him into conflict with { a megalomaniacal dictator, a government conspiracy, a profit-obsessed corporation, a sneering wizard, supernatural monsters, computer viruses made real, murderous robots, an army led by a sadist, forces that encourage conformity, a charismatic politician on the rise, humanity’s selfish nature, his own insecurity vis-a-vis girls

with the help of a { sarcastic female techno-geek, tomboyish female mechanic, shape-shifting female assassin, leather-clad female in shades, girl who’s always loved him, bookish female scholar with mousy brown hair, cherubic girl with pigtails and spunk, female who inexplicably becomes attracted to the damaged protagonist for unstated reasons

and her { wacky pet, welding gear, closet full of assault rifles, reference book, cleavage, facility with magic, condescending tone, discomfort in formal wear, propensity for being captured,

culminating in { a fistfight atop a tower, a daring rescue preceding a giant explosion, a heroic sacrifice that no one will ever remember, a philosophical argument punctuated by violence, a false victory with the promise of future danger, the invocation of a spell at the last possible moment, eternal love professed without irony, the land restored to health, authorial preaching through the mouths of the characters, convoluted nonsense that squanders the readers’ goodwill, wish-fulfillment solutions to real-world problems, a cliffhanger for the sake of prompting a series.

Your title is: “The { Chrono, Neuro, Aero, Cosmo, Reve, Necro, Cyber, Astro, Psycho, Steam, Meta, Black | punk, mech, noiac, (o)poli, naut, phage, droid, bot, blade, tron, mancer, War} s.”

~ FINISHED.

{{header: tall tales at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: The generator weighs four thousand pounds and writes six hundred books a year.}}

#554; The Fiction Generator. transcribed by in

The Electro-plasmic Hydrocephalic Genre-fiction Generator 2000
"The best of its type."

START.
In a (n) { neo-noir, alternate-history, ancient, post-apocalyptic, dystopian, VR-simulated, metaphorical, anachronistic, leather-clad, coal-powered, dragon-filled, shrill | America, Japan, Soviet Russia, Victorian Britain, medieval Europe, Aztec empire, Atlantis, terraformed Mars, Antarctica, one-way spaceflight, Outer Rim world, set from Road Warrior,

a young { flying message courier, student of metaphysics, milquetoast office drone, schlub with mild OCD, farm boy with dreams, techno-obsessed geek, brooding loner, wise-cracking mercenary, idealistic revolutionary, journeyman inventor, collector of oddities, author self-insert

stumbles across a(n) { magic diadem, arcane prophecy, dusty tome, crazy old man, alien artifact, enchanted sword, otherworldly portal, dream-inducing drug, encrypted data feed, time-traveling soldier, exiled angel, talking fish

which spurs him into conflict with { a megalomaniacal dictator, a government conspiracy, a profit-obsessed corporation, a sneering wizard, supernatural monsters, computer viruses made real, murderous robots, an army led by a sadist, forces that encourage conformity, a charismatic politician on the rise, humanity's selfish nature, his own insecurity vis-a-vis girls

with the help of a { sarcastic female techno-geek, tomboyish female mechanic, shape-shifting female assassin, leather-clad female in shades, girl who's always loved him, bookish female scholar with mousy brown hair, cherubic girl with pigtails and spunk, female who inexplicably becomes attracted to the damaged protagonist for unstated reasons

and her { wacky pet, welding gear, closet full of assault rifles, reference book, cleavage, facility with magic, condescending tone, discomfort in formal wear, propensity for being captured,

culminating in { a fistfight atop a tower, a daring rescue preceding a giant explosion, a heroic sacrifice that no one will ever remember, a philosophical argument punctuated by violence, a false victory with the promise of future danger, the invocation of a spell at the last possible moment, eternal love professed without irony, the land restored to health, authorial preaching through the mouths of the characters, convoluted nonsense that squanders the readers' goodwill, wish-fulfillment solutions to real-world problems, a cliffhanger for the sake of prompting a series.

Your title is: "The { Chrono, Neuro, Aero, Cosmo, Reve, Necro, Cyber, Astro, Psycho, Steam, Meta, Black | punk, mech, noiac, (o)poli, naut, phage, droid, bot, blade, tron, mancer, War} s."

~ FINISHED.

{{header: tall tales at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: The generator weighs four thousand pounds and writes six hundred books a year.}}

The generator weighs four thousand pounds and writes six hundred books a year.

See also: Nebu’s automated version.

My newest game: Noodle Battle! At PAX!

The past few weeks have been a frenzy of assembling the very laborious, very bespoke first print run of NOODLE BATTLE, the puzzle game I am releasing this weekend at PAX West in Seattle!

PAX has an event called the PNW Tabletop Game Market (Saturday night ONLY), which is a curated selection of short-run games from local designers. As I’ve mentioned in this space before, I applied for a space in this fall’s event mainly as a way to force myself to finish a new game. And here it is!

The drawings are all by Jason Poland, good pal and cartoonist of My Dad Is Dracula. Jason played an early version of this game at Alaska Robotics Comics Camp this spring, and really liked it!

So I said, “Do you want to help me make it?” And so he has! It was his idea to make all the characters fun little animals, and I think it adds a ton of charm.

Because this edition is limited-run, it has been incredibly labor-intensive to make! The boxes and cards were made by a game factory in the usual fashion, but separately. The blank tiles were made by a woodworker dude out of Connecticut. For each game, we have had to:

  • Cut a piece of plastic and install the box window
  • Paint all the tiles, hundreds at a time
  • Apply a sticker to both sides of every tile
  • Apply stickers to the box (we couldn’t get the box back printed in time, so the whole back side of the box is a sticker too)
  • Apply the “Nutrition Facts” sticker, which was a late suggestion by my kid that I just had to run with
  • Fold up the rule sheet (they come from the printer as big strips of paper)
  • Put all the components into the box and seal it all up

I knew it would be a lot of work and would require some inefficient, expensive compromises AND I WAS RIGHT. But the final product is turning out great, which is the important thing!!

I will have 50 copies with me (if all goes well) at PAX, and then between now and the holidays we will be putting together additional copies to round out this first edition.

I will announce additional copies on Patreon first, once they are available online!! And here too, naturally, before long.

You can also sign up here if you’d like me to email you once the game is available online!


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