#447; The Wrong Way to Ask for $700 Billion

Comic Transcripts

[[HENRY and his father. The father is wearing some kind of military uniform.]]
HENRY: Dad, I need cookies.
DAD: No. You’re in trouble for flooding the basement with your homemade waterslide.
HENRY: You don’t GET it! I NEED cookies. It’s not a passing desire. It’s a legitimate pressing NEED.
When I broke the water main, I awoke a FEARSOME HYDRO-DRAGON who intends to DEVOUR us all unless I bring him a GIANT STACK OF COOKIES.

DAD: Oh? Well, let’s go take a LOOK at this dragon.
HENRY: NO! You can’t see him! He’s an…INVISIBLE hydro-dragon!
SUPER-dangerous. TRUST ME!
DAD: Henry…
When someone with YOUR track record wants THAT many cookies, THIS is how to ask:

DAD: “I KNOW this sounds bad. I KNOW I’ve been wrong before. But right now, the danger we face is SO great that I ask you to look past ME to the FACTS of the situation, as presented by an impartial third party.
“Hopefully, for the moment if nothing more, we can SET ASIDE our differences and COOPERATE for the good of us all.”
HENRY: DAD YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND I NEED YOU TO GIVE ME A MILLION COOKIES RIGHT NOW OR THE INVISIBLE DRAGON IS GOING TO DEVOUR YOU AND ME AND MOM AND EVERYONE AND THE STREETS WILL RUN RED WITH OUR LIQUEFIED ORGAAAAANS

#447; The Wrong Way to Ask for $700 Billion transcribed by in

Bolted! games have been shipping to backers over the last couple of weeks! The non-US orders are (mostly) done and some folks have been reporting receiving them already!

@davidmalki.com My game arrived today!! It looks gorgeous 🙂 Hope you are well 🙂

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— Lar deSouza (@lartist.bsky.social) April 2, 2026 at 2:52 PM

My US inventory of games is now in-country, but still being staged at the fulfillment centers. It’s being distributed to regional warehouses, so the actual shipping to backers happens more efficiently. I hope the bulk of US shipping will start next week.

These are what the cartons (and games) look like!

bolted! games BOLTED! GAMES (pounding the table) B O L T E D ! G A M E S

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— david malki ! (@davidmalki.com) April 3, 2026 at 10:37 AM

I am also waiting on the bonus cards to be finished printing! I ended up needing many more of those than I had anticipated, so I decided to have the game factory print those too, for perfect matching with the base game cards.

Most people will be receiving two separate mailings: the game itself, and “anything else” (bonus cards and/or add-ons) which will be sent by me personally.

As of today, 86% of backers have completed their surveys so far! That’s pretty good, but it’s not everyone. I know YOU PERSONALLY have already completed YOURS though, so no worries!!

We have now moved OFF of Kickstarter and ONTO BackerKit for any new orders. You can bundle a game with basically anything else I sell on that there website, it’s pretty nuts!