Comic Transcripts

[[HENRY and his father. The father is wearing some kind of military uniform.]]
HENRY: Dad, I need cookies.
DAD: No. You’re in trouble for flooding the basement with your homemade waterslide.
HENRY: You don’t GET it! I NEED cookies. It’s not a passing desire. It’s a legitimate pressing NEED.
When I broke the water main, I awoke a FEARSOME HYDRO-DRAGON who intends to DEVOUR us all unless I bring him a GIANT STACK OF COOKIES.

DAD: Oh? Well, let’s go take a LOOK at this dragon.
HENRY: NO! You can’t see him! He’s an…INVISIBLE hydro-dragon!
SUPER-dangerous. TRUST ME!
DAD: Henry…
When someone with YOUR track record wants THAT many cookies, THIS is how to ask:

DAD: “I KNOW this sounds bad. I KNOW I’ve been wrong before. But right now, the danger we face is SO great that I ask you to look past ME to the FACTS of the situation, as presented by an impartial third party.
“Hopefully, for the moment if nothing more, we can SET ASIDE our differences and COOPERATE for the good of us all.”
HENRY: DAD YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND I NEED YOU TO GIVE ME A MILLION COOKIES RIGHT NOW OR THE INVISIBLE DRAGON IS GOING TO DEVOUR YOU AND ME AND MOM AND EVERYONE AND THE STREETS WILL RUN RED WITH OUR LIQUEFIED ORGAAAAANS

{{Header: make your case at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{Alt-text: There is a certain way that grown-ups do things.}}

#447; The Wrong Way to Ask for $700 Billion transcribed by in

[[HENRY and his father. The father is wearing some kind of military uniform.]]
HENRY: Dad, I need cookies.
DAD: No. You're in trouble for flooding the basement with your homemade waterslide.
HENRY: You don't GET it! I NEED cookies. It's not a passing desire. It's a legitimate pressing NEED.
When I broke the water main, I awoke a FEARSOME HYDRO-DRAGON who intends to DEVOUR us all unless I bring him a GIANT STACK OF COOKIES.

DAD: Oh? Well, let's go take a LOOK at this dragon.
HENRY: NO! You can't see him! He's an...INVISIBLE hydro-dragon!
SUPER-dangerous. TRUST ME!
DAD: Henry...
When someone with YOUR track record wants THAT many cookies, THIS is how to ask:

DAD: "I KNOW this sounds bad. I KNOW I've been wrong before. But right now, the danger we face is SO great that I ask you to look past ME to the FACTS of the situation, as presented by an impartial third party.
"Hopefully, for the moment if nothing more, we can SET ASIDE our differences and COOPERATE for the good of us all."
HENRY: DAD YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND I NEED YOU TO GIVE ME A MILLION COOKIES RIGHT NOW OR THE INVISIBLE DRAGON IS GOING TO DEVOUR YOU AND ME AND MOM AND EVERYONE AND THE STREETS WILL RUN RED WITH OUR LIQUEFIED ORGAAAAANS

{{Header: make your case at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{Alt-text: There is a certain way that grown-ups do things.}}

There is a certain way that grown-ups do things.

#447; The Wrong Way to Ask for $700 Billion

  — September 30th, 2008

[ Tags: , , , , ]       Permalink: https://wondermark.com/c/447/

Buy a Print

Applications open for Genius Northwest – an IRL gaming competition

May 8, 2026 by David Malki !

Last year, I participated in Genius Northwest, a gaming competition inspired by the Korean gameshow The Genius and its ilk.

It’s a reality show without the cameras — a 3-day, all-inclusive weekend retreat structured around a series of challenges and puzzles, in which personalities and dealmaking matter as much as playing games.

It’s truly a remarkable thing. I came in dead last in the competition, but I still had a great time participating.

The event is held annually in the Pacific Northwest (hence the name) and applications are now open to participate in the 2026 competition!

Learn more — and apply — at GeniusNW.com.


Recent blog posts