[[A banner reads: “A purposeful use of what society would discard”]]

[[The headline reads: “Non-traditional gardening tools. Rather than spending for specialized implements, use these household items:” Several numbered pictures are displayed.]]

[[A headline lower down reads “Tools Guide.” Numbered paragraphs describe the referenced pictures.]]

[[Of a sailboat: “1. Model sailboat can be used to repel aphids from plants. Aphids have a Jungian aversion to open water, and the presence of the boat implies a nearby regatta.”]]

[[Rope: “2. Ordinary parcel twine can be used to tie saplings to posts, rather than some kind of special gardening twine. It’s not like you’re going to use it for parcels. The only people who still tie parcels with twine are grandmothers, and that’s only because the mail clerks feel bad yelling at them to knock it off.”]]

[[The hollow top half of a ball: “3. Instead of discarding the half-balls left over from a game of slice-the-ball-in-the-garden, use them to cap off leaky sprinklers or plug gopher holes. The rubber balls are biodegradable, given a long enough timeline.”]]

[[A contraption with black paper sticking out: “4. X-ray viewers are great for spot-checking leaves for suspicious veining. Good gardens need a lot of work and attention.”]]

[[A strange-looking lipstick: “5. No need to get dolled up any longer, now that your obssessive (sic) gardening has killed romance? Use that lipstick to mark crop rows in the vegetable garden. The oily stain will serve as a warning to the sprouting plants never to set their sights too high.”]]

[[The lid to the lipstick: “6. The lid to the lipstick can catch tears, which, instead of wasted on him, can be put to use for irrigation!”]]

[[A bulb: “7. Now that you’re ‘going green’ and harvesting your earwax to make biodiesel, you won’t need this ear-cleaning bulb anymore. Plant it and see if it grows. It’s not a dumber idea than staying in this marriage.”]]

[[A conveyor belt: “8. He paid $200 for this five years ago and never even used it. Throw it in the garden and see if he even notices it’s gone.”]]

[[A whistle: “9. Blow this whisle in joy if he ever bothers to ask how the garden is coming. Screw baseball season.”]]

{{alt-text: A gardening tool is just any possession you don’t mind irreparably soiling, CHARLES}}

The Tinkerer’s Handbook, Page 6 (of 8) transcribed by in

[[A banner reads: “A purposeful use of what society would discard”]]

[[The headline reads: “Non-traditional gardening tools. Rather than spending for specialized implements, use these household items:” Several numbered pictures are displayed.]]

[[A headline lower down reads “Tools Guide.” Numbered paragraphs describe the referenced pictures.]]

[[Of a sailboat: “1. Model sailboat can be used to repel aphids from plants. Aphids have a Jungian aversion to open water, and the presence of the boat implies a nearby regatta.”]]

[[Rope: “2. Ordinary parcel twine can be used to tie saplings to posts, rather than some kind of special gardening twine. It’s not like you’re going to use it for parcels. The only people who still tie parcels with twine are grandmothers, and that’s only because the mail clerks feel bad yelling at them to knock it off.”]]

[[The hollow top half of a ball: “3. Instead of discarding the half-balls left over from a game of slice-the-ball-in-the-garden, use them to cap off leaky sprinklers or plug gopher holes. The rubber balls are biodegradable, given a long enough timeline.”]]

[[A contraption with black paper sticking out: “4. X-ray viewers are great for spot-checking leaves for suspicious veining. Good gardens need a lot of work and attention.”]]

[[A strange-looking lipstick: “5. No need to get dolled up any longer, now that your obssessive (sic) gardening has killed romance? Use that lipstick to mark crop rows in the vegetable garden. The oily stain will serve as a warning to the sprouting plants never to set their sights too high.”]]

[[The lid to the lipstick: “6. The lid to the lipstick can catch tears, which, instead of wasted on him, can be put to use for irrigation!”]]

[[A bulb: “7. Now that you’re ‘going green’ and harvesting your earwax to make biodiesel, you won’t need this ear-cleaning bulb anymore. Plant it and see if it grows. It’s not a dumber idea than staying in this marriage.”]]

[[A conveyor belt: “8. He paid $200 for this five years ago and never even used it. Throw it in the garden and see if he even notices it’s gone.”]]

[[A whistle: “9. Blow this whisle in joy if he ever bothers to ask how the garden is coming. Screw baseball season.”]]

{{alt-text: A gardening tool is just any possession you don’t mind irreparably soiling, CHARLES}}

The Tinkerer’s Handbook, Page 6 (of 8) transcribed by in

[[A banner reads: "A purposeful use of what society would discard"]]

[[The headline reads: "Non-traditional gardening tools. Rather than spending for specialized implements, use these household items:" Several numbered pictures are displayed.]]

[[A headline lower down reads "Tools Guide." Numbered paragraphs describe the referenced pictures.]]

[[Of a sailboat: "1. Model sailboat can be used to repel aphids from plants. Aphids have a Jungian aversion to open water, and the presence of the boat implies a nearby regatta."]]

[[Rope: "2. Ordinary parcel twine can be used to tie saplings to posts, rather than some kind of special gardening twine. It's not like you're going to use it for parcels. The only people who still tie parcels with twine are grandmothers, and that's only because the mail clerks feel bad yelling at them to knock it off."]]

[[The hollow top half of a ball: "3. Instead of discarding the half-balls left over from a game of slice-the-ball-in-the-garden, use them to cap off leaky sprinklers or plug gopher holes. The rubber balls are biodegradable, given a long enough timeline."]]

[[A contraption with black paper sticking out: "4. X-ray viewers are great for spot-checking leaves for suspicious veining. Good gardens need a lot of work and attention."]]

[[A strange-looking lipstick: "5. No need to get dolled up any longer, now that your obssessive (sic) gardening has killed romance? Use that lipstick to mark crop rows in the vegetable garden. The oily stain will serve as a warning to the sprouting plants never to set their sights too high."]]

[[The lid to the lipstick: "6. The lid to the lipstick can catch tears, which, instead of wasted on him, can be put to use for irrigation!"]]

[[A bulb: "7. Now that you're 'going green' and harvesting your earwax to make biodiesel, you won't need this ear-cleaning bulb anymore. Plant it and see if it grows. It's not a dumber idea than staying in this marriage."]]

[[A conveyor belt: "8. He paid $200 for this five years ago and never even used it. Throw it in the garden and see if he even notices it's gone."]]

[[A whistle: "9. Blow this whisle in joy if he ever bothers to ask how the garden is coming. Screw baseball season."]]

{{alt-text: A gardening tool is just any possession you don't mind irreparably soiling, CHARLES}}

A gardening tool is just any possession you don't mind irreparably soiling, CHARLES

The Tinkerer’s Handbook, Page 6 (of 8)

— May 4th, 2011

[ Tags: craft, diagrams, tinkerer ] Permalink: https://wondermark.com/c/tink6/

(Start from Page 1.)

New ways to get Bolted!

July 24, 2026 by David Malki !

In addition to buying things directly from me, the normal way, my game Bolted! is also now available on Amazon dot com.

On that famous website, you can also get the Creature-Crafting Magnets Set, which is made of the same artwork from the game, but is just a weird little trinket (not a playable game).

My kiddo made the elaborate version below to show off just how many magnets you get in the set (it’s 150 pieces in all — this isn’t even all of them).

Also now on Amazon is my set of Multi-Purpose Greeting Cards — a full dozen cards with envelopes in a fancy, unbranded, foil-stamped box!

Event alert!

I’ll also be showing off Bolted! at Greenwood Games, an event in Seattle this Saturday:

Greenwood Games is a free, all-ages community game event that invites players to spend the afternoon walking Greenwood Avenue from 65th to 80th, collecting clues, cracking puzzles, and discovering games made right here in Washington.

Think of it as Pride Hop, ArtWalk, and the Gumshoe all rolled into one, except the whole thing is built around games and puzzles.

Local game designers will be set up at different places along Greenwood Avenue in Phinney Ridge (near Ballard). My specific spot will be the “Holy Mountain Phinney Ridge Taproom”. All the information about all the different games & venues is on the website!

(If you’re in Seattle generally but not free tomorrow, Bolted! is also stocked at Blue Highway Games in Queen Anne.)

Next week, I’ll be at Gen Con! I personally will be hanging with my buddy Sam Logan at BFE Webcomics, booth #1217… but I have it on good authority that copies of Bolted! will be available at the CRWN Studios booth, #2549.

Visit one booth! Then the other! The order…is up to you.

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