Tweet Me Harder book! And TOTALLY the BEST shirt

It’s here! The very first Tweet Me Harder book. Written by me and Kris Straub, this book collects the first ten hours of our weekly comedy podcast and adds illustrations, annotations, footnotes and indexes to become the ultimate Tweet Me Harder companion. And if you’re not already following Tweet Me Harder, this is a great way to check out the content of the show (and get plenty of good laughs) without all that bothersome listening. TMH BOOK: Read your podcasts.™

ALSO: As a special upgrade we are also offering this book in DISGUISE MODE, for when you want to shield what you are reading from others (for any reason whatsoever):

Keep your privacy your own with TMH Disguise Mode.™

Also here is a new shirt I have made! It is what I feel, about everything.

Remember: you get five bucks off with the purchase of any three shirts from TopatoCo (my store or others). May I humbly suggest The Second Coming of Lincoln and perhaps Everything is Fine, as well?

New book! DAPPER CAPS & PEDAL-COPTERS

It’s my latest book — Dapper Caps & Pedal-Copters, a new hardbound Wondermark collection from Dark Horse Comics!

Like my previous Wondermark collections, this book contains 100+ individual comic strips (complete with mouseover text), plus something like 20 pages of new and bonus material, most of it created specifically for this volume. It reprints the long-form Wondermark story “The Catch!”, which was seen previously on MySpace Dark Horse Presents, but also includes:

  • An Extra-Large Pedal-Copter Post Card
  • An Inventor’s Catalog of Advertisments
  • A Table of Contents, Preface, and a version of the book’s full text presented in the superior Sandoval Method of Rapid Reading
  • An Index of Topical References
  • Patent applications, world record lists, theater reviews, and a bevy of other features extrapolating on premises put forth by individual comic strips (many of which are newly presented in full color)
  • Abandoned Efforts and other comics that have never been published on this site
  • Exploded Views of certain comics, showing the components they have been crafted from
  • A Bears-In-Ill-Fitting-Hats Image Gallery, for the pleasure of zoologists/haberdashers
  • And many more things as well, including an entirely separate, secondary book contained within the covers of this one. Seriously.

All of my books are like this! I love cramming them absolutely full, cover to cover, with all sorts of goodies, bonus bits, and things that can only work in printed form. It’s a whole new and exciting reading experience!

I already mentioned that the book contains certain comics in full color: thanks to my recent coloring contest, in this book you will find work that has been chromatized by Carly Monardo, Marcus Thiele, Philip R. Obermarck, and the scarily-named Jolly Rotten. Here’s another sneak peek at the book as well.

Dapper Caps is available through pretty much all the major book places. If you have a local comic shop, they probably have or will get it, or they can get it from Dark Horse. If you have a friendly local bookstore, they can certainly order it, or they might have it already. (The ISBN is: 978-1-59582-449-3.) If you are strapped for cash and would prefer to order it through a certain huge online bookstore website, it is quite honestly probably cheapest there (but at least do me the favor of using the search box in the right sidebar of my site, so I get a little kickback from the sale).

OR you can just order it from me! When you do so, you directly support me and my efforts, and I get a much, much higher percentage of the sale. And as a special bonus, from now through April 12 I am offering Artist Editions of all books! That means the new book and any/all of the old ones can be upgraded to include a custom unique sketch by me, which I will execute in a couple weeks (so the orders won’t ship until then). The regular, non-sketched edition of the new books will ship at the same time (April 13 or so), so why not upgrade to an Artist Edition and get the super-special version? You might get something like this:

Let’s recap! The new book can be ordered now (and your copy will ship around April 13). You can also get it, or any of the old books, upgraded to Artist Edition for a limited time. I won’t be offering Artist Editions again until November. Here are more examples of what Artist Editions might look like (though of course they’re all different)!

AND HEY WHAT — I’ve also got some keen new sticker-packs as well:

As well as the regular complement of shirts, posters, comic prints et cetera at the Wondermark Store. Please remember that any order containing pre-ordered books will ship all at once, once the books come in.

Thanks a million for your continued support! Let’s keep doing it just like this

What happened that day

A hundred birds leapt at once from the shaking earth. A leaf fell; the first of many, as the pounding grew stronger, more violent, more energetic. A slight burning smell tickled the nose of a dog, trotting across a field. At the next deep, crackling slam, the dog turned and ran the opposite direction.

First to break the surface was a finger. It looked like a potato being rejected by the world, jutting suddenly forth from the ground like a coin had been dropped in some slot: “Potatoes – 10¢.” Someone must have dropped a dollar in, because nine more soon followed, pop-pop-pop. They flexed and the caked brown dirt fell off at the cracks and seams. Beneath was red — burning red, the red of a body in a sauna, the burning of a soul sent back, to finish up.

The hands spread the earth away on both sides like a swimmer surfacing, a smooth, easy motion that swept up great mounds of field, rolling right over trees, trucks, squirrels, the lot. Hills now existed in these places, and behind them, canyons. The arms broke the ground, the sleeves steaming but whole, hanging heavily like great bags of rope. The hands found the crust of the planet and pushed against it — and then the hat crested. And then the head was through.

When its face touched air it drew a ragged breath, and with that sharp intake came power: it breathed again, and again, and then it rose. It stood and sought out the sky. It sought out the land on either side. Then it sought out a tree. It stared at the tree, steadily, until the leaves withered and began to burn.

By now the road was crowded with cars, with trucks, with shouts and the jangle of telephones. As the distractions drew the man’s attention, a line of bright hot flame sped across the road, exactly following his gaze. The first car his eyes washed over began to burn. Shouts turned to cries, but these sounds were far-off. The man did not notice. He lifted his feet and set them down. He walked away.

The flame spat itself out in a long line toward the horizon, before petering out as the man’s gaze extended into the distance. Buildings stood there. He made for them, leaving behind the cars, the people, and the deep, hot tunnel he had climbed. For weeks he had climbed; for months he had fought his way through the earth. Today, the day with the air, was a good day. It was the start of something beautiful.

This day — the climbing from the pit — had been anticipated by many. Some waited for him in Springfield, at the tomb; others favored the memorial in Washington. A few even camped out near Hodgenville and the old log cabin. For many years there had been whispers that he was returning. Everybody had gotten ready for him; everyone expected him to welcome them, to praise them, and for him to take up their burdens.

They were wrong. He did not know those people. Their constant wails were brambles in his ears; their prayers were caterwauling bleats, one litany of sobs after another.

So when the day came that his eyes flashed awake, he fled, kicking away from that sound, into the heat and the liquid and the blessed, blessed silence.

By the time the first flames began to lick the buildings of Perth, everyone knew what was happening. It’s just that no one had expected him to take the long way up.

The new shirt is printed on American Apparel Organic Edition in the very lovely Galaxy color!

Holiday Product RUNDOWN

bow not included

Okay! Now that we’re well into the holiday shopping season, here are the highlights that you need to know:

FIRST: The limited-edition, hand-made Wondermark 2010 Calendar is now available for pre-order! Here’s the link. No pictures yet exist of the 2010 calendar (you’ll see the 2009 calendar at that link) but you’ll get the idea. Calendars will start shipping in about two weeks. You may or may not get them for Christmas, depending on where you live. You will probably get them before the New Year, however. We are doing our best over here and we thank you for your understanding. “We” is basically just me.

NEXT: Greeting cards. Let’s talk about greeting cards. TopatoCo’s trying their darndest to keep my holiday cards in stock over there, and doing pretty well considering the demand, but it’s been up and down. Anything that’s out of stock should be being reprinted soon, but we live on a roiling sea of no guarantees. Again everyone is doing their best and you should check back periodically.

Now then. I do have some limited stock of holiday cards in-house as well. For your convenience I have newly assembled some 10-card packs of popular designs — but I only have a few and supplies are limited. You can also mix and match with, like, Valentines and thank-you cards and so on if you want to be conscientious. Whoo! It is like the Wild West over here.

Anyway! In-house holiday cards are here. You can combine these orders with anything else in my in-house store: stickers, books, etc. All orders containing holiday cards may ship in multiple shipments, so you’ll get your cards right away even if the calendars won’t be ready until later.

Finally! I also have the regular complement of books, comic prints, posters, T-shirts and messenger bags over at my TopatoCo store! That’s the bulk of all my tremendous gift items, and those guys are pros. Everything there should be shipping promptly, but you should also be aware of their very important holiday shipping deadlines. December 8 (TODAY) is their deadline for international shipping using the not-extremely-expensive Priority Mail! Domestic deadlines are coming up very soon as well. DO NOT DALLY.

What would we do without the holidays? Sleep, perhaps. As always, I am supremely grateful for your support and if there’s anything special I can do to make your holiday dreams come true, please don’t be shy about dropping me a line. Did you buy one of my books at your local shop or Amazon? Request a free signed bookplate!

Thanksgiving Project results will be up later this week!