Comic Transcripts

[[BORTONSON and NAYBELLINE watch TV.]]

TV: Due to a nutrient deficiency in the remote village, many residents develop benign tumors protruding from the spine that can approach the circumference of a regulation NBA basketball.

BORTONSON: Incredible

TV: Surgeons are flown in to perform delicate operations to remove the tumors and give the residents a chance for a normal life.

NAYBELLINE: What do you think that they DO with the tumors?

BORTONSON: Throw ’em AWAY, most likely

NAYBELLINE: Seems like a WASTE! There’s GOTTA be a chemical they can inject it with that petrifies it. Then it can be burnished. POLISHED.

BORTONSON: SURE. Put that thing in a TUMBLER.

NAYBELLINE: Cut some FACETS in it. Give it to a gemcutter, see what HE can do.

BORTONSON: Cut it down the center. Let’s see what the CROSS-SECTION looks like. Prob’ly like a GALAXY.

NAYBELLINE: Go BEAUTIFUL in a living room.

BORTONSON: “See those coffee table legs? Made ’em myself. No thanks to IODINE!”

NAYBELLINE: Truly a tumor is a HUMAN PEARL

{{header: clip ‘n’ save WONDERMARK.COM}}

#918; A New Handicraft transcribed by in

[[BORTONSON and NAYBELLINE watch TV.]]

TV: Due to a nutrient deficiency in the remote village, many residents develop benign tumors protruding from the spine that can approach the circumference of a regulation NBA basketball.

BORTONSON: Incredible

TV: Surgeons are flown in to perform delicate operations to remove the tumors and give the residents a chance for a normal life.

NAYBELLINE: What do you think that they DO with the tumors?

BORTONSON: Throw 'em AWAY, most likely

NAYBELLINE: Seems like a WASTE! There's GOTTA be a chemical they can inject it with that petrifies it. Then it can be burnished. POLISHED.

BORTONSON: SURE. Put that thing in a TUMBLER.

NAYBELLINE: Cut some FACETS in it. Give it to a gemcutter, see what HE can do.

BORTONSON: Cut it down the center. Let's see what the CROSS-SECTION looks like. Prob'ly like a GALAXY.

NAYBELLINE: Go BEAUTIFUL in a living room.

BORTONSON: "See those coffee table legs? Made 'em myself. No thanks to IODINE!"

NAYBELLINE: Truly a tumor is a HUMAN PEARL

{{header: clip 'n' save WONDERMARK.COM}}

Cut it into slabs and polish it like glass. Collect chunks from different individuals to tile together. Make the most ostentatious kitchen counter possible.

My newest game: Noodle Battle! At PAX!

The past few weeks have been a frenzy of assembling the very laborious, very bespoke first print run of NOODLE BATTLE, the puzzle game I am releasing this weekend at PAX West in Seattle!

PAX has an event called the PNW Tabletop Game Market (Saturday night ONLY), which is a curated selection of short-run games from local designers. As I’ve mentioned in this space before, I applied for a space in this fall’s event mainly as a way to force myself to finish a new game. And here it is!

The drawings are all by Jason Poland, good pal and cartoonist of My Dad Is Dracula. Jason played an early version of this game at Alaska Robotics Comics Camp this spring, and really liked it!

So I said, “Do you want to help me make it?” And so he has! It was his idea to make all the characters fun little animals, and I think it adds a ton of charm.

Because this edition is limited-run, it has been incredibly labor-intensive to make! The boxes and cards were made by a game factory in the usual fashion, but separately. The blank tiles were made by a woodworker dude out of Connecticut. For each game, we have had to:

  • Cut a piece of plastic and install the box window
  • Paint all the tiles, hundreds at a time
  • Apply a sticker to both sides of every tile
  • Apply stickers to the box (we couldn’t get the box back printed in time, so the whole back side of the box is a sticker too)
  • Apply the “Nutrition Facts” sticker, which was a late suggestion by my kid that I just had to run with
  • Fold up the rule sheet (they come from the printer as big strips of paper)
  • Put all the components into the box and seal it all up

I knew it would be a lot of work and would require some inefficient, expensive compromises AND I WAS RIGHT. But the final product is turning out great, which is the important thing!!

I will have 50 copies with me (if all goes well) at PAX, and then between now and the holidays we will be putting together additional copies to round out this first edition.

I will announce additional copies on Patreon first, once they are available online!! And here too, naturally, before long.

You can also sign up here if you’d like me to email you once the game is available online!


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