Comic Transcripts

Woman: Connor? I… I think we should break up.
Connor: What? But I thought you’d made peace with my nonsense! It’s a phase. A nonsensical phase. I’ll get better!

Woman: No. This has been a long time coming. And it’s very hard to wrap my mind around, but it’s real. Everyone I’ve discussed it with agrees with me.
Connor: Discussed it with? Who have you discussed it with?

Woman: Doesn’t matter. People. Objects. Animals. Vegetables.
Connor: Vegetables? Like the broccoli we had for dinner? Did you discuss it with them?
Woman: Yes if you must know. At least they listen.

Connor: So you’re telling me that they sat there and let themselves get eaten by me all the while smugly, silently knowing that you wanted to break up with me? And I’m laughing and putting cheese on them like a chump while they knew? Are you out to humiliate me in front of my dinner?
Woman: This ? this is one of the reasons why we should break up.

{{header: five servings of WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: I am OUTRAGED that my carrots did not warn me about this potential heartbreak in the instant before I mashed them into pulp without the slightest thought for their own feelings in the matter}}

#852; In which an Objection proves futile transcribed by in

Woman: Connor? I... I think we should break up.
Connor: What? But I thought you'd made peace with my nonsense! It's a phase. A nonsensical phase. I'll get better!

Woman: No. This has been a long time coming. And it's very hard to wrap my mind around, but it's real. Everyone I've discussed it with agrees with me.
Connor: Discussed it with? Who have you discussed it with?

Woman: Doesn't matter. People. Objects. Animals. Vegetables.
Connor: Vegetables? Like the broccoli we had for dinner? Did you discuss it with them?
Woman: Yes if you must know. At least they listen.

Connor: So you're telling me that they sat there and let themselves get eaten by me all the while smugly, silently knowing that you wanted to break up with me? And I'm laughing and putting cheese on them like a chump while they knew? Are you out to humiliate me in front of my dinner?
Woman: This ? this is one of the reasons why we should break up.

{{header: five servings of WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: I am OUTRAGED that my carrots did not warn me about this potential heartbreak in the instant before I mashed them into pulp without the slightest thought for their own feelings in the matter}}

I am OUTRAGED that my carrots did not warn me about this potential heartbreak in the instant before I mashed them into pulp without the slightest thought for their own feelings in the matter

#852; In which an Objection proves futile

  — July 10th, 2012

[ Tags: , , ]       Permalink: https://wondermark.com/c/852/

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Applications open for Genius Northwest – an IRL gaming competition

May 8, 2026 by David Malki !

Last year, I participated in Genius Northwest, a gaming competition inspired by the Korean gameshow The Genius and its ilk.

It’s a reality show without the cameras — a 3-day, all-inclusive weekend retreat structured around a series of challenges and puzzles, in which personalities and dealmaking matter as much as playing games.

It’s truly a remarkable thing. I came in dead last in the competition, but I still had a great time participating.

The event is held annually in the Pacific Northwest (hence the name) and applications are now open to participate in the 2026 competition!

Learn more — and apply — at GeniusNW.com.


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