Man: I’m an atheist.
Woman: I’m a maltheist!
Man: I don’t believe that God exists.
Woman: I believe that God exists, and that he hates us.

Man: I believe in a natural explanation for everything that happens in the world.
Woman: I believe that everything bad is caused by a deity who wishes only to cause us pain, and everything good is either luck or our own doing.

Man: I believe that life is fundamentally cruel and unfair, and we’d better learn to live with it.
Woman: I believe that life is cruel and unfair on purpose, and so it’s our duty to fight and make things better for ourselves and for others.

Bishop: I believe that God loves us and wants us to be happy. And that evil in the world is attributable to the Devil.
Woman: Well in MY thing there’s no guarantee that the Devil loses at the end, so we better get to work.

{{header: hide from WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: Maltheists believe that the Bible is both literally true AND a mean-spirited prank.}}

#804; A Cosmology of Malice transcribed by in

Man: I'm an atheist.
Woman: I'm a maltheist!
Man: I don't believe that God exists.
Woman: I believe that God exists, and that he hates us.

Man: I believe that life is fundamentally cruel and unfair, and we'd better learn to live with it.
Woman: I believe that life is cruel and unfair on purpose, and so it's our duty to fight and make things better for ourselves and for others.

Bishop: I believe that God loves us and wants us to be happy. And that evil in the world is attributable to the Devil.
Woman: Well in MY thing there's no guarantee that the Devil loses at the end, so we better get to work.

{{header: hide from WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: Maltheists believe that the Bible is both literally true AND a mean-spirited prank.}}

Maltheists believe that the Bible is both literally true AND a mean-spirited prank.

#804; A Cosmology of Malice

— February 28th, 2012

[ Tags: despair, religion, thought processes ] Permalink: https://wondermark.com/c/804/

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Applications open for Genius Northwest – an IRL gaming competition

May 8, 2026 by David Malki !

Last year, I participated in Genius Northwest, a gaming competition inspired by the Korean gameshow The Genius and its ilk.

It’s a reality show without the cameras — a 3-day, all-inclusive weekend retreat structured around a series of challenges and puzzles, in which personalities and dealmaking matter as much as playing games.

It’s truly a remarkable thing. I came in dead last in the competition, but I still had a great time participating.

The event is held annually in the Pacific Northwest (hence the name) and applications are now open to participate in the 2026 competition!

Learn more — and apply — at GeniusNW.com.

Comic Transcripts

#804; A Cosmology of Malice

— February 28th, 2012

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