#625; In which the Train thunders on

Comic Transcripts

[[Exterior of a building.]]
JEFF: Just got off a conference call with the client. Had a good long talk about direction for the campaign.

[[Interior.]]
JEFF: They want to position the Plaque-Vac as a time-saver. So let’s hear some copy about saving time.

WANDA: Saving time…saving time…time’s a-wasting. Don’t waste time. Time flies. Don’t let time fly away, use the Plaque-Vac every day. Time keeps on tickin’. Time is a girl’s best friend. All we need is time. Without time, nothing else matters. Save time, save a life. Save your own life.
JEFF: What about something being late?

DREW: Running late. Wake up late, you’re late for work. Kids late for school. You don’t have time. Busy schedule, you grab a junk-food breakfast. Pop Tarts, drive-thru, donuts. Sorta montage between ’em.

WANDA: You can use the Plaque-Vac at work. Use it after lunch! Get home late, why waste time. Takes ten seconds before bed. Get right to bed with your loved ones. Improves your quality of life. An easy way to improve dental health while adding time back into your schedule.
JEFF: I like that. Your current tooth-cleaning method is stealing time from your life and you don’t even know it. Now, you can add – what? Five minutes a day? Ten? Fifteen? Add that time back.

DREW: That’s extra time Extra time that you get to keep. It’s like a gift. Plaque-Vac is the gift that keeps on giving. Give it to yourself, and Plaque-Vac gives you the gift of time.

SIMON: Have you ever actually used Plaque-Vac? My aunt gave me one for Christmas. The suction motor is really cheap, so you either have to go super slowly and hit a bunch of spots twice, or just brush your teeth the regular way afterwards. It doesn’t really save you any time.

[[Beat.]]

JEFF: I like “THE REVOLUTIONARY NEW PLAQUE-VAC GIVES YOU THE PRICELESS GIFT OF MORE TIME WITH YOUR LOVED ONES.”

{{alt-text: FINE, Simon. We’ll also pitch ‘Don’t you deserve a day off? Indulge yourself with Plaque-Vac! Take whole lazy afternoons to pamper your gums.’}}

#625; In which the Train thunders on transcribed by in

[[Exterior of a building.]]
JEFF: Just got off a conference call with the client. Had a good long talk about direction for the campaign.

[[Interior.]]
JEFF: They want to position the Plaque-Vac as a time-saver. So let’s hear some copy about saving time.

DREW: That’s extra time Extra time that you get to keep. It’s like a gift. Plaque-Vac is the gift that keeps on giving. Give it to yourself, and Plaque-Vac gives you the gift of time.

[[Beat.]]

JEFF: I like “THE REVOLUTIONARY NEW PLAQUE-VAC GIVES YOU THE PRICELESS GIFT OF MORE TIME WITH YOUR LOVED ONES.”

{{alt-text: FINE, Simon. We’ll also pitch ‘Don’t you deserve a day off? Indulge yourself with Plaque-Vac! Take whole lazy afternoons to pamper your gums.’}}

#625; In which the Train thunders on transcribed by in

[[Exterior of a building.]]
JEFF: Just got off a conference call with the client. Had a good long talk about direction for the campaign.

[[Interior.]]
JEFF: They want to position the Plaque-Vac as a time-saver. So let's hear some copy about saving time.

WANDA: Saving time...saving time...time's a-wasting. Don't waste time. Time flies. Don't let time fly away, use the Plaque-Vac every day. Time keeps on tickin'. Time is a girl's best friend. All we need is time. Without time, nothing else matters. Save time, save a life. Save your own life.
JEFF: What about something being late?

DREW: Running late. Wake up late, you're late for work. Kids late for school. You don't have time. Busy schedule, you grab a junk-food breakfast. Pop Tarts, drive-thru, donuts. Sorta montage between 'em.

WANDA: You can use the Plaque-Vac at work. Use it after lunch! Get home late, why waste time. Takes ten seconds before bed. Get right to bed with your loved ones. Improves your quality of life. An easy way to improve dental health while adding time back into your schedule.
JEFF: I like that. Your current tooth-cleaning method is stealing time from your life and you don't even know it. Now, you can add - what? Five minutes a day? Ten? Fifteen? Add that time back.

DREW: That's extra time Extra time that you get to keep. It's like a gift. Plaque-Vac is the gift that keeps on giving. Give it to yourself, and Plaque-Vac gives you the gift of time.

[[Beat.]]

JEFF: I like "THE REVOLUTIONARY NEW PLAQUE-VAC GIVES YOU THE PRICELESS GIFT OF MORE TIME WITH YOUR LOVED ONES."

{{alt-text: FINE, Simon. We'll also pitch 'Don't you deserve a day off? Indulge yourself with Plaque-Vac! Take whole lazy afternoons to pamper your gums.'}}

FINE, Simon. We'll also pitch 'Don't you deserve a day off? Indulge yourself with Plaque-Vac! Take whole lazy afternoons to pamper your gums.'

#625; In which the Train thunders on

— May 25th, 2010

[ Tags: delusion, marketing, the culture ] Permalink: https://wondermark.com/c/625/

Buy a Print

The past few weeks have been a frenzy of assembling the very laborious, very bespoke first print run of NOODLE BATTLE, the puzzle game I am releasing this weekend at PAX West in Seattle!

PAX has an event called the PNW Tabletop Game Market (Saturday night ONLY), which is a curated selection of short-run games from local designers. As I’ve mentioned in this space before, I applied for a space in this fall’s event mainly as a way to force myself to finish a new game. And here it is!

The drawings are all by Jason Poland, good pal and cartoonist of My Dad Is Dracula. Jason played an early version of this game at Alaska Robotics Comics Camp this spring, and really liked it!

So I said, “Do you want to help me make it?” And so he has! It was his idea to make all the characters fun little animals, and I think it adds a ton of charm.

Because this edition is limited-run, it has been incredibly labor-intensive to make! The boxes and cards were made by a game factory in the usual fashion, but separately. The blank tiles were made by a woodworker dude out of Connecticut. For each game, we have had to:

Cut a piece of plastic and install the box window
Paint all the tiles, hundreds at a time
Apply a sticker to both sides of every tile
Apply stickers to the box (we couldn’t get the box back printed in time, so the whole back side of the box is a sticker too)
Apply the “Nutrition Facts” sticker, which was a late suggestion by my kid that I just had to run with
Fold up the rule sheet (they come from the printer as big strips of paper)
Put all the components into the box and seal it all up

I knew it would be a lot of work and would require some inefficient, expensive compromises AND I WAS RIGHT. But the final product is turning out great, which is the important thing!!

I will have 50 copies with me (if all goes well) at PAX, and then between now and the holidays we will be putting together additional copies to round out this first edition.

I will announce additional copies on Patreon first, once they are available online!! And here too, naturally, before long.

You can also sign up here if you’d like me to email you once the game is available online!

Comic Transcripts

#625; In which the Train thunders on

— May 25th, 2010

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