[[A bearded man sits on a bench, holding a cellular phone to his ear]]
Bearded Man: ...just checking to see if you guys were going out tonight. Call me!
Bearded Man (internal monologue): They won't call! I *know* they went out without me! They *never* include me in anything they do!
[[The phone is no longer visible]]
Bearded Man (internal monologue): Like when *George* came to visit. They all went to that club that looks like a submarine.
Bearded Man (internal monologue): George is *my* friend, too! And they *knew* I wanted to go check out *The Dive Bar*!
Bearded Man (internal monologue): But *no*! Stuck home *alone* again like a *chump*! Like a walking, talking *chumpanzee*!
[[A man in a turban appears, kneeling at the bearded man's side]]
Bearded Man (internal monologue): Now I'm gonna be here *all* night waiting for a call which is *never* going to come. Talk about the *height* of inconsiderate?
Man in Turban: *AN EPIDEMIC HAS KILLED THE ENTIRE HUMAN RACE LEAVING ONLY YOU AND ME ALIVE*
Man in Turban: C-can I come in?
Bearded Man: Nnnnnah, I think I got a library book I should be working on.
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{{alt-text: Every fifteen minutes it goes AWHOOOOGAA and red lights flash and sprinklers come on}}