Comic Transcripts

[[SIDNEY sits on an overturned rowboat. A large seabird stands before him.]]
SIDNEY: Go AWAY Bird.
I don’ got no biscuits, no bread, no SMILES even.
Don’ need another desperate stare in my life neither.

SIDNEY: Why you STANDING there? I don’ got nothing I can give you that you gonna want.
Don’t LOOK at me like that! You gonna trigger a thing insideways that’s been doing just fine shielded by the gut layer!
BIRD! You–you better know you are playing with fire, Bird!
Now you look away! NOW YOU LEAVE ME BE!

SIDNEY: AAAHH your constant, belittling gaze turns my venoms backward! so much self-conscious that it cracks my stoic facade!
You WIN, Bird! You WIN! I am a sadly man! NOTHING I do is EVER for success!
BIRD (thinking): Apparently including feeding the dang birds.

{{Header: fixate on WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{Alt-text: The bird was hoping for a little piece of crouton or something, but absent that, will happily take that hat.}}

#571; The Battle of Birdy Wills transcribed by in

[[SIDNEY sits on an overturned rowboat. A large seabird stands before him.]]
SIDNEY: Go AWAY Bird.
I don’ got no biscuits, no bread, no SMILES even.
Don’ need another desperate stare in my life neither.

SIDNEY: Why you STANDING there? I don’ got nothing I can give you that you gonna want.
Don’t LOOK at me like that! You gonna trigger a thing insideways that’s been doing just fine shielded by the gut layer!
BIRD! You–you better know you are playing with fire, Bird!
Now you look away! NOW YOU LEAVE ME BE!

SIDNEY: AAAHH your constant, belittling gaze turns my venoms backward! so much self-conscious that it cracks my stoic facade!
You WIN, Bird! You WIN! I am a sadly man! NOTHING I do is EVER for success!
BIRD (thinking): Apparently including feeding the dang birds.

{{Header: fixate on WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{Alt-text: The bird was hoping for a little piece of crouton or something, but absent that, will happily take that hat.}}

#571; The Battle of Birdy Wills transcribed by in

[[SIDNEY sits on an overturned rowboat. A large seabird stands before him.]]
SIDNEY: Go AWAY Bird.
I don' got no biscuits, no bread, no SMILES even.
Don' need another desperate stare in my life neither.

SIDNEY: Why you STANDING there? I don' got nothing I can give you that you gonna want.
Don't LOOK at me like that! You gonna trigger a thing insideways that's been doing just fine shielded by the gut layer!
BIRD! You--you better know you are playing with fire, Bird!
Now you look away! NOW YOU LEAVE ME BE!

SIDNEY: AAAHH your constant, belittling gaze turns my venoms backward! so much self-conscious that it cracks my stoic facade!
You WIN, Bird! You WIN! I am a sadly man! NOTHING I do is EVER for success!
BIRD (thinking): Apparently including feeding the dang birds.

{{Header: fixate on WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{Alt-text: The bird was hoping for a little piece of crouton or something, but absent that, will happily take that hat.}}

The bird was hoping for a little piece of crouton or something, but absent that, will happily take that hat.

#571; The Battle of Birdy Wills

  — November 17th, 2009

[ Tags: , , , ]       Permalink: https://wondermark.com/c/571/

Buy a Print

Applications open for Genius Northwest – an IRL gaming competition

May 8, 2026 by David Malki !

Last year, I participated in Genius Northwest, a gaming competition inspired by the Korean gameshow The Genius and its ilk.

It’s a reality show without the cameras — a 3-day, all-inclusive weekend retreat structured around a series of challenges and puzzles, in which personalities and dealmaking matter as much as playing games.

It’s truly a remarkable thing. I came in dead last in the competition, but I still had a great time participating.

The event is held annually in the Pacific Northwest (hence the name) and applications are now open to participate in the 2026 competition!

Learn more — and apply — at GeniusNW.com.


Recent blog posts