Comic Transcripts

GLORIA: Daddy, why can’t animals talk?
JIMMY: It’s not that they can’t talk – it’s that we can’t talk like them!

JIMMY: You see, all human language is descended from a mother, animal tongue. To the beasts, our yammering, overenunciated dialects sound like so much chittering gibberish!

JIMMY: Unlike the animals, in order to communicate we must convert ideas down into inefficient sets of words. This is such a lost of nuance that it’s like recounting an opera in Morse code. To a cocker spaniel, human speech is like beeping in German.

GLORIA: So when I say, “Chunky, I love you?”
JIMMY: He hears “Der biepbiep biep biepbiepbieperzung biep biep biepen biepenschlauf biep biepinzingerunting.”

{{header: distill into WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: It’s miserable!}}

#715; In which Speech is merely a Dialect transcribed by in

GLORIA: Daddy, why can’t animals talk?
JIMMY: It’s not that they can’t talk – it’s that we can’t talk like them!

JIMMY: You see, all human language is descended from a mother, animal tongue. To the beasts, our yammering, overenunciated dialects sound like so much chittering gibberish!

JIMMY: Unlike the animals, in order to communicate we must convert ideas down into inefficient sets of words. This is such a lost of nuance that it’s like recounting an opera in Morse code. To a cocker spaniel, human speech is like beeping in German.

GLORIA: So when I say, “Chunky, I love you?”
JIMMY: He hears “Der biepbiep biep biepbiepbieperzung biep biep biepen biepenschlauf biep biepinzingerunting.”

{{header: distill into WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: It’s miserable!}}

#715; In which Speech is merely a Dialect transcribed by in

GLORIA: Daddy, why can't animals talk?
JIMMY: It's not that they can't talk - it's that we can't talk like them!

JIMMY: You see, all human language is descended from a mother, animal tongue. To the beasts, our yammering, overenunciated dialects sound like so much chittering gibberish!

JIMMY: Unlike the animals, in order to communicate we must convert ideas down into inefficient sets of words. This is such a lost of nuance that it's like recounting an opera in Morse code. To a cocker spaniel, human speech is like beeping in German.

GLORIA: So when I say, "Chunky, I love you?"
JIMMY: He hears "Der biepbiep biep biepbiepbieperzung biep biep biepen biepenschlauf biep biepinzingerunting."

{{header: distill into WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: It's miserable!}}

It's miserable!

#715; In which Speech is merely a Dialect

  — March 29th, 2011

[ Tags: , ]       Permalink: https://wondermark.com/c/715/

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Applications open for Genius Northwest – an IRL gaming competition

May 8, 2026 by David Malki !

Last year, I participated in Genius Northwest, a gaming competition inspired by the Korean gameshow The Genius and its ilk.

It’s a reality show without the cameras — a 3-day, all-inclusive weekend retreat structured around a series of challenges and puzzles, in which personalities and dealmaking matter as much as playing games.

It’s truly a remarkable thing. I came in dead last in the competition, but I still had a great time participating.

The event is held annually in the Pacific Northwest (hence the name) and applications are now open to participate in the 2026 competition!

Learn more — and apply — at GeniusNW.com.


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