[[Three men sit around a folding table in the middle of a village of thatched huts.]]
BERNIE: This is shaping up to be a LEGENDARY national election!
STIG: Oh, man! If Obama wins the Presidency...TALK about HISTORIC!
After ALL these years, a President with a surname BOTH BEGINNING AND ENDING in a VOWEL!
THINK of it! AND the first Presidential surname with MORE VOWELS THAN CONSONANTS!
For years it seemed like nobody could beat FIFTY PERCENT--Coolidge, Pierce, Eisenhower, Reagan, you know all those tired old names--but Obama's poised to SHATTER that record!
BERNIE: With only forty-three Presidents, it's not terribly hard fo any one of them to be the first at something obscure. Clinton was the first BABY BOOMER President. George W. was the first to visit ALBANIA.
If Obama wins, it'll PROBABLY be historic for reasons OTHER than his being the fourteenth (after Carter, Nixon, Jefferson, Cleveland, both Johnsons, Tyler, Hayes, Jackson, Madison, Grant, Wilson and arguably Taylor) to feature PALINDROMIC VOWEL-CONSONANT DISPERSION.
STIG: GUHHHHH I have to change my pants.
{{Header: make headlines at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{Alt-text: McCain calls himself a 'maverick,' but McKinley beat him to the patronymic particle by over 100 years.}}