[[Ext: house]]
Voice One: Hey, what's - are you crying?
Voice Two: No! Go away!
<>
Woman: I heard you bawling all the way outside. What's wrong?
Man: I'm - I'm a bit messed up by the school shooting.
Woman: It's touching that you're so moved, but I didn't think you were personally affected.
Man: That's just it! I'm not! I'm a complete outsider! I can't give any interviews. I can't write an op-ed column. I can't even BLOG about it! Whenever these awful things happen, the public's massive appetite for tragedy sucks up every scrap of half-baked "expert opinion" it can find. But I can never fit MY name in anywhere!
Man: If I knew anything about gun control, or campus law enforcement, or even Korean immigration - maybe I'd have a shot. But you have to really specialize if you want to be THE expert. And MY stupid niche has yet to come up.
Woman: Oh? And what's that?
Man: Guitar Hero.
{{header: elbow in at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: also, vampire erotica}}