Comic Transcripts

Wife: Did you hear? Jody had a baby! Seven pounds, three ounces, twenty inches long.
Husband: Wait, why do I care how LONG the baby was?

Husband: Who decided which random measurements would represent this newborn to the world? “We’ve birthed an offspring. The circumference of its head is 35 centimeters.”

Husband: “Its first bowel movement yielded 400 grams of excretum, having the viscosity of warm butter.”

Wife: You can’t do anything that anyone else does, can you.
Husband: “It’s got a ding-dong, but we should probably hold off on THOSE measurements for a couple years or so.”

{{header: measure up at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: ‘it exhibits a striking lack of comprehension of even the most rudimentary precepts of fire safety’}}

#230; In which an Infant is quantified transcribed by in

Wife: Did you hear? Jody had a baby! Seven pounds, three ounces, twenty inches long.
Husband: Wait, why do I care how LONG the baby was?

Husband: Who decided which random measurements would represent this newborn to the world? “We’ve birthed an offspring. The circumference of its head is 35 centimeters.”

Husband: “Its first bowel movement yielded 400 grams of excretum, having the viscosity of warm butter.”

Wife: You can’t do anything that anyone else does, can you.
Husband: “It’s got a ding-dong, but we should probably hold off on THOSE measurements for a couple years or so.”

{{header: measure up at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: ‘it exhibits a striking lack of comprehension of even the most rudimentary precepts of fire safety’}}

#230; In which an Infant is quantified transcribed by in

Wife: Did you hear? Jody had a baby! Seven pounds, three ounces, twenty inches long.
Husband: Wait, why do I care how LONG the baby was?

Husband: Who decided which random measurements would represent this newborn to the world? "We've birthed an offspring. The circumference of its head is 35 centimeters."

Husband: "Its first bowel movement yielded 400 grams of excretum, having the viscosity of warm butter."

Wife: You can't do anything that anyone else does, can you.
Husband: "It's got a ding-dong, but we should probably hold off on THOSE measurements for a couple years or so."

{{header: measure up at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: 'it exhibits a striking lack of comprehension of even the most rudimentary precepts of fire safety'}}

'it exhibits a striking lack of comprehension of even the most rudimentary precepts of fire safety'

New ways to get Bolted!

In addition to buying things directly from me, the normal way, my game Bolted! is also now available on Amazon dot com.

On that famous website, you can also get the Creature-Crafting Magnets Set, which is made of the same artwork from the game, but is just a weird little trinket (not a playable game).

My kiddo made the elaborate version below to show off just how many magnets you get in the set (it’s 150 pieces in all — this isn’t even all of them).

Also now on Amazon is my set of Multi-Purpose Greeting Cards — a full dozen cards with envelopes in a fancy, unbranded, foil-stamped box!

Event alert!

I’ll also be showing off Bolted! at Greenwood Games, an event in Seattle this Saturday:

Greenwood Games is a free, all-ages community game event that invites players to spend the afternoon walking Greenwood Avenue from 65th to 80th, collecting clues, cracking puzzles, and discovering games made right here in Washington.

Think of it as Pride Hop, ArtWalk, and the Gumshoe all rolled into one,  except the whole thing is built around games and puzzles.​

Local game designers will be set up at different places along Greenwood Avenue in Phinney Ridge (near Ballard). My specific spot will be the “Holy Mountain Phinney Ridge Taproom”. All the information about all the different games & venues is on the website!

(If you’re in Seattle generally but not free tomorrow, Bolted! is also stocked at Blue Highway Games in Queen Anne.)

Next week, I’ll be at Gen Con! I personally will be hanging with my buddy Sam Logan at BFE Webcomics, booth #1217… but I have it on good authority that copies of Bolted! will be available at the CRWN Studios booth, #2549.

Visit one booth! Then the other! The order…is up to you.


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