Comic Transcripts

[[The disembodied head of Abraham Lincoln wears a top hat and monocle.]]

Lincoln: I say, old chap, I think the most undignified way to die would be to be robbed and murdered by lower-class hooligans.

[[The disembodied head of George Washington wears an identical top hat and monocle.]]

Washington: Oh, I quite agree. That would certainly be a most unfashionable way to meet one’s demise.

Lincoln: I rather think I’d prefer to be attacked by some sort of poisoned razor bees to be stung, poisoned, and lacerated to death than to be snuffed by a common poor person.

Washington: Oh certainly, certainly. Savage and gruesome deaths are very in these days You’d surely be the talk of the town for a few days after something like that.

[[The disembodied head of John Wilkes Booth holds a gun on both of them.]]

Booth: All right, guys, I get it. You’d be very ashamed to be robbed and murdered by a poor person like me. Great. Don’t care. Still going to rob and murder you both.

[[Booth now wears both top hats and both monocles.]]

Booth: Aw, yeah, I’m the cock of the walk!

{{alt-text: this tale smacks of historical inaccuracy}}

#201; Guest Comic by Miles Grover transcribed by in

[[The disembodied head of Abraham Lincoln wears a top hat and monocle.]]

Lincoln: I say, old chap, I think the most undignified way to die would be to be robbed and murdered by lower-class hooligans.

[[The disembodied head of George Washington wears an identical top hat and monocle.]]

Washington: Oh, I quite agree. That would certainly be a most unfashionable way to meet one’s demise.

Lincoln: I rather think I’d prefer to be attacked by some sort of poisoned razor bees to be stung, poisoned, and lacerated to death than to be snuffed by a common poor person.

Washington: Oh certainly, certainly. Savage and gruesome deaths are very in these days You’d surely be the talk of the town for a few days after something like that.

[[The disembodied head of John Wilkes Booth holds a gun on both of them.]]

Booth: All right, guys, I get it. You’d be very ashamed to be robbed and murdered by a poor person like me. Great. Don’t care. Still going to rob and murder you both.

[[Booth now wears both top hats and both monocles.]]

Booth: Aw, yeah, I’m the cock of the walk!

{{alt-text: this tale smacks of historical inaccuracy}}

#201; Guest Comic by Miles Grover transcribed by in

[[The disembodied head of Abraham Lincoln wears a top hat and monocle.]]

Lincoln: I say, old chap, I think the most undignified way to die would be to be robbed and murdered by lower-class hooligans.

[[The disembodied head of George Washington wears an identical top hat and monocle.]]

Washington: Oh, I quite agree. That would certainly be a most unfashionable way to meet one's demise.

Lincoln: I rather think I'd prefer to be attacked by some sort of poisoned razor bees to be stung, poisoned, and lacerated to death than to be snuffed by a common poor person.

Washington: Oh certainly, certainly. Savage and gruesome deaths are very in these days You'd surely be the talk of the town for a few days after something like that.

[[The disembodied head of John Wilkes Booth holds a gun on both of them.]]

Booth: All right, guys, I get it. You'd be very ashamed to be robbed and murdered by a poor person like me. Great. Don't care. Still going to rob and murder you both.

[[Booth now wears both top hats and both monocles.]]

Booth: Aw, yeah, I'm the cock of the walk!

{{alt-text: this tale smacks of historical inaccuracy}}

this tale smacks of historical inaccuracy

#201; Guest Comic by Miles Grover

  — July 3rd, 2006

[ Tags: , , ]       Permalink: https://wondermark.com/c/201/

Guest comic by Miles Grover of Thinkin’ Lincoln.

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Applications open for Genius Northwest – an IRL gaming competition

May 8, 2026 by David Malki !

Last year, I participated in Genius Northwest, a gaming competition inspired by the Korean gameshow The Genius and its ilk.

It’s a reality show without the cameras — a 3-day, all-inclusive weekend retreat structured around a series of challenges and puzzles, in which personalities and dealmaking matter as much as playing games.

It’s truly a remarkable thing. I came in dead last in the competition, but I still had a great time participating.

The event is held annually in the Pacific Northwest (hence the name) and applications are now open to participate in the 2026 competition!

Learn more — and apply — at GeniusNW.com.


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