Comic Transcripts

ARON and BEREN continue to discuss their theories about Star Wars.

B: Okay, so. We know Obi-Wan, the brilliant general, had the bright idea to hide Luke from Vader on Vader’s ACTUAL home planet with Vader’s ACTUAL relatives. Giving him Vader’s ACTUAL last name.

A: Which is a bit like the witness protection program hiding you at your grandma’s house

B: While he and Yoda figured this whole “Empire” problem would WHAT? SOLVE ITSELF if they let it gain inertia for twenty years?

B: But what we ALSO learned from the prequels is that those brown robes he wore? APPARENTLY THE STANDARD JEDI OUTFIT. So he went into hiding…and then STAYED IN UNIFORM the whole time.

A: Here’s a better explanation: He didn’t wear Jedi robes on Tatooine… He wore TATOOINE ROBES while a JEDI.

A: THINK about it. He visits Tatooine as a padawan. It’s so SAVAGE and EXOTIC. He ADOPTS the aesthetic like a CORUSCANT HIPSTER.

A: Then, when he has to go into hiding, of COURSE he gives some flimsy excuse why Luke will be better off with these STEP-STRANGERS he’s not even ACTUALLY related to! It lets him indulge his Tatooine fetish full-time!

B: Obi-Wan is a TATOOINE OTAKU! He’d probably have taken a Sand Person WIFE if he could’ve found one SUBMISSIVE enough!

Overhearing this conversation is CAREN. This is now too much; she speaks up.

C: YOU TWO. Come ON.

C: Mace Windu and Qui-Gon wore the SAME robes.

B: Yeah, well, probably LOTS of people wore ’em before they figured out how racist it was

#1194; It’s the Dune Sea for Me transcribed by in

ARON and BEREN continue to discuss their theories about Star Wars.

B: Okay, so. We know Obi-Wan, the brilliant general, had the bright idea to hide Luke from Vader on Vader's ACTUAL home planet with Vader's ACTUAL relatives. Giving him Vader's ACTUAL last name.

A: Which is a bit like the witness protection program hiding you at your grandma's house

B: While he and Yoda figured this whole "Empire" problem would WHAT? SOLVE ITSELF if they let it gain inertia for twenty years?

B: But what we ALSO learned from the prequels is that those brown robes he wore? APPARENTLY THE STANDARD JEDI OUTFIT. So he went into hiding...and then STAYED IN UNIFORM the whole time.

A: Here's a better explanation: He didn't wear Jedi robes on Tatooine... He wore TATOOINE ROBES while a JEDI.

A: THINK about it. He visits Tatooine as a padawan. It's so SAVAGE and EXOTIC. He ADOPTS the aesthetic like a CORUSCANT HIPSTER.

A: Then, when he has to go into hiding, of COURSE he gives some flimsy excuse why Luke will be better off with these STEP-STRANGERS he's not even ACTUALLY related to! It lets him indulge his Tatooine fetish full-time!

B: Obi-Wan is a TATOOINE OTAKU! He'd probably have taken a Sand Person WIFE if he could've found one SUBMISSIVE enough!

Overhearing this conversation is CAREN. This is now too much; she speaks up.

C: YOU TWO. Come ON.

C: Mace Windu and Qui-Gon wore the SAME robes.

B: Yeah, well, probably LOTS of people wore 'em before they figured out how racist it was

Obi-Wan: ''We need to keep this baby ignorant of his parentage. So instead of adopting him, like the Organas are doing with theirs, I recommend inventing a story about a long-lost father who died under mysterious circumstances.'' Beru: ''Um...'' Owen: ''GREAT''

#1194; It’s the Dune Sea for Me

  — January 29th, 2016

[ Tags: , , , ]       Permalink: https://wondermark.com/c/1194/

Buy a Print

New ways to get Bolted!

July 24, 2026 by David Malki !

In addition to buying things directly from me, the normal way, my game Bolted! is also now available on Amazon dot com.

On that famous website, you can also get the Creature-Crafting Magnets Set, which is made of the same artwork from the game, but is just a weird little trinket (not a playable game).

My kiddo made the elaborate version below to show off just how many magnets you get in the set (it’s 150 pieces in all — this isn’t even all of them).

Also now on Amazon is my set of Multi-Purpose Greeting Cards — a full dozen cards with envelopes in a fancy, unbranded, foil-stamped box!

Event alert!

I’ll also be showing off Bolted! at Greenwood Games, an event in Seattle this Saturday:

Greenwood Games is a free, all-ages community game event that invites players to spend the afternoon walking Greenwood Avenue from 65th to 80th, collecting clues, cracking puzzles, and discovering games made right here in Washington.

Think of it as Pride Hop, ArtWalk, and the Gumshoe all rolled into one,  except the whole thing is built around games and puzzles.​

Local game designers will be set up at different places along Greenwood Avenue in Phinney Ridge (near Ballard). My specific spot will be the “Holy Mountain Phinney Ridge Taproom”. All the information about all the different games & venues is on the website!

(If you’re in Seattle generally but not free tomorrow, Bolted! is also stocked at Blue Highway Games in Queen Anne.)

Next week, I’ll be at Gen Con! I personally will be hanging with my buddy Sam Logan at BFE Webcomics, booth #1217… but I have it on good authority that copies of Bolted! will be available at the CRWN Studios booth, #2549.

Visit one booth! Then the other! The order…is up to you.


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