Comic Transcripts

ARON and BEREN continue to discuss their theories about Star Wars.

B: Okay, so. We know Obi-Wan, the brilliant general, had the bright idea to hide Luke from Vader on Vader’s ACTUAL home planet with Vader’s ACTUAL relatives. Giving him Vader’s ACTUAL last name.

A: Which is a bit like the witness protection program hiding you at your grandma’s house

B: While he and Yoda figured this whole “Empire” problem would WHAT? SOLVE ITSELF if they let it gain inertia for twenty years?

B: But what we ALSO learned from the prequels is that those brown robes he wore? APPARENTLY THE STANDARD JEDI OUTFIT. So he went into hiding…and then STAYED IN UNIFORM the whole time.

A: Here’s a better explanation: He didn’t wear Jedi robes on Tatooine… He wore TATOOINE ROBES while a JEDI.

A: THINK about it. He visits Tatooine as a padawan. It’s so SAVAGE and EXOTIC. He ADOPTS the aesthetic like a CORUSCANT HIPSTER.

A: Then, when he has to go into hiding, of COURSE he gives some flimsy excuse why Luke will be better off with these STEP-STRANGERS he’s not even ACTUALLY related to! It lets him indulge his Tatooine fetish full-time!

B: Obi-Wan is a TATOOINE OTAKU! He’d probably have taken a Sand Person WIFE if he could’ve found one SUBMISSIVE enough!

Overhearing this conversation is CAREN. This is now too much; she speaks up.

C: YOU TWO. Come ON.

C: Mace Windu and Qui-Gon wore the SAME robes.

B: Yeah, well, probably LOTS of people wore ’em before they figured out how racist it was

#1194; It’s the Dune Sea for Me transcribed by in

ARON and BEREN continue to discuss their theories about Star Wars.

B: Okay, so. We know Obi-Wan, the brilliant general, had the bright idea to hide Luke from Vader on Vader's ACTUAL home planet with Vader's ACTUAL relatives. Giving him Vader's ACTUAL last name.

A: Which is a bit like the witness protection program hiding you at your grandma's house

B: While he and Yoda figured this whole "Empire" problem would WHAT? SOLVE ITSELF if they let it gain inertia for twenty years?

B: But what we ALSO learned from the prequels is that those brown robes he wore? APPARENTLY THE STANDARD JEDI OUTFIT. So he went into hiding...and then STAYED IN UNIFORM the whole time.

A: Here's a better explanation: He didn't wear Jedi robes on Tatooine... He wore TATOOINE ROBES while a JEDI.

A: THINK about it. He visits Tatooine as a padawan. It's so SAVAGE and EXOTIC. He ADOPTS the aesthetic like a CORUSCANT HIPSTER.

A: Then, when he has to go into hiding, of COURSE he gives some flimsy excuse why Luke will be better off with these STEP-STRANGERS he's not even ACTUALLY related to! It lets him indulge his Tatooine fetish full-time!

B: Obi-Wan is a TATOOINE OTAKU! He'd probably have taken a Sand Person WIFE if he could've found one SUBMISSIVE enough!

Overhearing this conversation is CAREN. This is now too much; she speaks up.

C: YOU TWO. Come ON.

C: Mace Windu and Qui-Gon wore the SAME robes.

B: Yeah, well, probably LOTS of people wore 'em before they figured out how racist it was

Obi-Wan: ''We need to keep this baby ignorant of his parentage. So instead of adopting him, like the Organas are doing with theirs, I recommend inventing a story about a long-lost father who died under mysterious circumstances.'' Beru: ''Um...'' Owen: ''GREAT''

#1194; It’s the Dune Sea for Me

  — January 29th, 2016

[ Tags: , , , ]       Permalink: https://wondermark.com/c/1194/

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My newest game: Noodle Battle! At PAX!

September 2, 2026 by David Malki !

The past few weeks have been a frenzy of assembling the very laborious, very bespoke first print run of NOODLE BATTLE, the puzzle game I am releasing this weekend at PAX West in Seattle!

PAX has an event called the PNW Tabletop Game Market (Saturday night ONLY), which is a curated selection of short-run games from local designers. As I’ve mentioned in this space before, I applied for a space in this fall’s event mainly as a way to force myself to finish a new game. And here it is!

The drawings are all by Jason Poland, good pal and cartoonist of My Dad Is Dracula. Jason played an early version of this game at Alaska Robotics Comics Camp this spring, and really liked it!

So I said, “Do you want to help me make it?” And so he has! It was his idea to make all the characters fun little animals, and I think it adds a ton of charm.

Because this edition is limited-run, it has been incredibly labor-intensive to make! The boxes and cards were made by a game factory in the usual fashion, but separately. The blank tiles were made by a woodworker dude out of Connecticut. For each game, we have had to:

  • Cut a piece of plastic and install the box window
  • Paint all the tiles, hundreds at a time
  • Apply a sticker to both sides of every tile
  • Apply stickers to the box (we couldn’t get the box back printed in time, so the whole back side of the box is a sticker too)
  • Apply the “Nutrition Facts” sticker, which was a late suggestion by my kid that I just had to run with
  • Fold up the rule sheet (they come from the printer as big strips of paper)
  • Put all the components into the box and seal it all up

I knew it would be a lot of work and would require some inefficient, expensive compromises AND I WAS RIGHT. But the final product is turning out great, which is the important thing!!

I will have 50 copies with me (if all goes well) at PAX, and then between now and the holidays we will be putting together additional copies to round out this first edition.

I will announce additional copies on Patreon first, once they are available online!! And here too, naturally, before long.

You can also sign up here if you’d like me to email you once the game is available online!


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