#1194; It’s the Dune Sea for Me

Comic Transcripts

ARON and BEREN continue to discuss their theories about Star Wars.

B: Okay, so. We know Obi-Wan, the brilliant general, had the bright idea to hide Luke from Vader on Vader’s ACTUAL home planet with Vader’s ACTUAL relatives. Giving him Vader’s ACTUAL last name.

A: Which is a bit like the witness protection program hiding you at your grandma’s house

B: While he and Yoda figured this whole “Empire” problem would WHAT? SOLVE ITSELF if they let it gain inertia for twenty years?

B: But what we ALSO learned from the prequels is that those brown robes he wore? APPARENTLY THE STANDARD JEDI OUTFIT. So he went into hiding…and then STAYED IN UNIFORM the whole time.

A: Here’s a better explanation: He didn’t wear Jedi robes on Tatooine… He wore TATOOINE ROBES while a JEDI.

A: THINK about it. He visits Tatooine as a padawan. It’s so SAVAGE and EXOTIC. He ADOPTS the aesthetic like a CORUSCANT HIPSTER.

A: Then, when he has to go into hiding, of COURSE he gives some flimsy excuse why Luke will be better off with these STEP-STRANGERS he’s not even ACTUALLY related to! It lets him indulge his Tatooine fetish full-time!

B: Obi-Wan is a TATOOINE OTAKU! He’d probably have taken a Sand Person WIFE if he could’ve found one SUBMISSIVE enough!

Overhearing this conversation is CAREN. This is now too much; she speaks up.

C: YOU TWO. Come ON.

C: Mace Windu and Qui-Gon wore the SAME robes.

B: Yeah, well, probably LOTS of people wore ’em before they figured out how racist it was

#1194; It’s the Dune Sea for Me transcribed by in

ARON and BEREN continue to discuss their theories about Star Wars.

B: Okay, so. We know Obi-Wan, the brilliant general, had the bright idea to hide Luke from Vader on Vader's ACTUAL home planet with Vader's ACTUAL relatives. Giving him Vader's ACTUAL last name.

A: Which is a bit like the witness protection program hiding you at your grandma's house

B: While he and Yoda figured this whole "Empire" problem would WHAT? SOLVE ITSELF if they let it gain inertia for twenty years?

B: But what we ALSO learned from the prequels is that those brown robes he wore? APPARENTLY THE STANDARD JEDI OUTFIT. So he went into hiding...and then STAYED IN UNIFORM the whole time.

A: Here's a better explanation: He didn't wear Jedi robes on Tatooine... He wore TATOOINE ROBES while a JEDI.

A: THINK about it. He visits Tatooine as a padawan. It's so SAVAGE and EXOTIC. He ADOPTS the aesthetic like a CORUSCANT HIPSTER.

A: Then, when he has to go into hiding, of COURSE he gives some flimsy excuse why Luke will be better off with these STEP-STRANGERS he's not even ACTUALLY related to! It lets him indulge his Tatooine fetish full-time!

B: Obi-Wan is a TATOOINE OTAKU! He'd probably have taken a Sand Person WIFE if he could've found one SUBMISSIVE enough!

Overhearing this conversation is CAREN. This is now too much; she speaks up.

C: YOU TWO. Come ON.

C: Mace Windu and Qui-Gon wore the SAME robes.

B: Yeah, well, probably LOTS of people wore 'em before they figured out how racist it was

Obi-Wan: ''We need to keep this baby ignorant of his parentage. So instead of adopting him, like the Organas are doing with theirs, I recommend inventing a story about a long-lost father who died under mysterious circumstances.'' Beru: ''Um...'' Owen: ''GREAT''