Comic Transcripts

[[A woman, SNAMANTHICA, gestures urgently at a large mechanical device with a baby inside while speaking to a man, SIMON.]]

SNAMANTHICA: Oh! Simon! Those people left their baby in some sort of HYDRAULIC DEATH-SCREW! It winds itself closer to the small, soft body by the second!

SNAMANTHICA: I should SAY something!
SIMON: Leave it alone! It’s none of your business!

SIMON: You don’t KNOW that it’s a DEATH-SCREW! Do you want to be one of those meddling people who lectures others on how to parent?

SIMON: They’re raising THEIR kid THEIR WAY! Do you want someone second-guessing all YOUR parenting decisions?
SNAMANTHICA: I HAVE to say something. Each turn of the screw more certainly augurs a grisly end for the babe

[[Snamanthica departs, presumably to confront the parents in charge of the device. After a moment, she returns.]]

SIMON: Well?
SNAMANTHICA: They wearily explained that the baby has a medical condition requiring his skull to be lanced hourly
SNAMANTHICA: And furthermore, their insurance would only pay for the most terrifying possible device, as a way to obliquely punish them for being of humble means.
SNAMANTHICA: But still. I’m glad I said something

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#1152; In which a Baby is imperiled transcribed by in

[[A woman, SNAMANTHICA, gestures urgently at a large mechanical device with a baby inside while speaking to a man, SIMON.]]

SNAMANTHICA: Oh! Simon! Those people left their baby in some sort of HYDRAULIC DEATH-SCREW! It winds itself closer to the small, soft body by the second!

SNAMANTHICA: I should SAY something!
SIMON: Leave it alone! It’s none of your business!

SIMON: You don’t KNOW that it’s a DEATH-SCREW! Do you want to be one of those meddling people who lectures others on how to parent?

SIMON: They’re raising THEIR kid THEIR WAY! Do you want someone second-guessing all YOUR parenting decisions?
SNAMANTHICA: I HAVE to say something. Each turn of the screw more certainly augurs a grisly end for the babe

[[Snamanthica departs, presumably to confront the parents in charge of the device. After a moment, she returns.]]

SIMON: Well?
SNAMANTHICA: They wearily explained that the baby has a medical condition requiring his skull to be lanced hourly
SNAMANTHICA: And furthermore, their insurance would only pay for the most terrifying possible device, as a way to obliquely punish them for being of humble means.
SNAMANTHICA: But still. I’m glad I said something

{{header: help out at WONDERMARK.COM}}

#1152; In which a Baby is imperiled transcribed by in

[[A woman, SNAMANTHICA, gestures urgently at a large mechanical device with a baby inside while speaking to a man, SIMON.]]

SNAMANTHICA: Oh! Simon! Those people left their baby in some sort of HYDRAULIC DEATH-SCREW! It winds itself closer to the small, soft body by the second!

SNAMANTHICA: I should SAY something!
SIMON: Leave it alone! It's none of your business!

SIMON: You don't KNOW that it's a DEATH-SCREW! Do you want to be one of those meddling people who lectures others on how to parent?

SIMON: They're raising THEIR kid THEIR WAY! Do you want someone second-guessing all YOUR parenting decisions?
SNAMANTHICA: I HAVE to say something. Each turn of the screw more certainly augurs a grisly end for the babe

[[Snamanthica departs, presumably to confront the parents in charge of the device. After a moment, she returns.]]

SIMON: Well?
SNAMANTHICA: They wearily explained that the baby has a medical condition requiring his skull to be lanced hourly
SNAMANTHICA: And furthermore, their insurance would only pay for the most terrifying possible device, as a way to obliquely punish them for being of humble means.
SNAMANTHICA: But still. I'm glad I said something

{{header: help out at WONDERMARK.COM}}

the fact that the death-screw in use prompts strangers to comment on it daily is actually part of the punishment

#1152; In which a Baby is imperiled

  — August 21st, 2015

[ Tags: , , ]       Permalink: https://wondermark.com/c/1152/

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My newest game: Noodle Battle! At PAX!

September 2, 2026 by David Malki !

The past few weeks have been a frenzy of assembling the very laborious, very bespoke first print run of NOODLE BATTLE, the puzzle game I am releasing this weekend at PAX West in Seattle!

PAX has an event called the PNW Tabletop Game Market (Saturday night ONLY), which is a curated selection of short-run games from local designers. As I’ve mentioned in this space before, I applied for a space in this fall’s event mainly as a way to force myself to finish a new game. And here it is!

The drawings are all by Jason Poland, good pal and cartoonist of My Dad Is Dracula. Jason played an early version of this game at Alaska Robotics Comics Camp this spring, and really liked it!

So I said, “Do you want to help me make it?” And so he has! It was his idea to make all the characters fun little animals, and I think it adds a ton of charm.

Because this edition is limited-run, it has been incredibly labor-intensive to make! The boxes and cards were made by a game factory in the usual fashion, but separately. The blank tiles were made by a woodworker dude out of Connecticut. For each game, we have had to:

  • Cut a piece of plastic and install the box window
  • Paint all the tiles, hundreds at a time
  • Apply a sticker to both sides of every tile
  • Apply stickers to the box (we couldn’t get the box back printed in time, so the whole back side of the box is a sticker too)
  • Apply the “Nutrition Facts” sticker, which was a late suggestion by my kid that I just had to run with
  • Fold up the rule sheet (they come from the printer as big strips of paper)
  • Put all the components into the box and seal it all up

I knew it would be a lot of work and would require some inefficient, expensive compromises AND I WAS RIGHT. But the final product is turning out great, which is the important thing!!

I will have 50 copies with me (if all goes well) at PAX, and then between now and the holidays we will be putting together additional copies to round out this first edition.

I will announce additional copies on Patreon first, once they are available online!! And here too, naturally, before long.

You can also sign up here if you’d like me to email you once the game is available online!


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