Comic Transcripts

[[Two elderly citizens talk to each other, wearing somewhat eclectic clothing. One appears to be sucking their thumb. The other is holding a container of some kind.]]
Bean Fan: Check dis out! You want summa dis bean juice?
Bean Fan: Bean juice is the best!

Bean Fan: Bean juice can be cold! Bean juice can be hot! It don’ matter to bean juice!! Bean juice don’t care!!
Bean Fan: You can put cow water in bean juice. You can put beet stuff in there too! Some of that cactus gravy? PUT IT IN BEAN JUICE!

Bean Fan: You can even use cunning science fakeries of those exact notions BUT you can’t fake bean juice! You need the bean!!

Bean Fan: Take a bean. COOK dat bean. SMASH dat bean. Now make dat JUICE!
Bean Fan: It don’ LOOK real nice but it does CHEMISTRY to your sleeps!
Bean Fan: YOU CAN EVEN MAKE IT FROTHY

Thumb-sucker: You’re making coffee sound WEIRD.
Bean Fan: EVERYTHING is weird when you think on it too overly!!
Bean Fan: ESPECIALLY after having a whole bunch of, say, BEAN JUICE!!

{{header: drink up at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: Some people keepa bean juice in their house!! Some people get bean juice from commercial establishments!! This is a big business, juicing that beans!! First person to juice a bean, that person MUST is a millionaire.}}

#1125; In which a Bean is juiced transcribed by in

[[Two elderly citizens talk to each other, wearing somewhat eclectic clothing. One appears to be sucking their thumb. The other is holding a container of some kind.]]
Bean Fan: Check dis out! You want summa dis bean juice?
Bean Fan: Bean juice is the best!

Bean Fan: Bean juice can be cold! Bean juice can be hot! It don' matter to bean juice!! Bean juice don't care!!
Bean Fan: You can put cow water in bean juice. You can put beet stuff in there too! Some of that cactus gravy? PUT IT IN BEAN JUICE!

Bean Fan: You can even use cunning science fakeries of those exact notions BUT you can't fake bean juice! You need the bean!!

Bean Fan: Take a bean. COOK dat bean. SMASH dat bean. Now make dat JUICE!
Bean Fan: It don' LOOK real nice but it does CHEMISTRY to your sleeps!
Bean Fan: YOU CAN EVEN MAKE IT FROTHY

Thumb-sucker: You're making coffee sound WEIRD.
Bean Fan: EVERYTHING is weird when you think on it too overly!!
Bean Fan: ESPECIALLY after having a whole bunch of, say, BEAN JUICE!!

{{header: drink up at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: Some people keepa bean juice in their house!! Some people get bean juice from commercial establishments!! This is a big business, juicing that beans!! First person to juice a bean, that person MUST is a millionaire.}}

Some people keepa bean juice in their house!! Some people get bean juice from commercial establishments!! This is a big business, juicing that beans!! First person to juice a bean, that person MUST is a millionaire.

#1125; In which a Bean is juiced

  — May 15th, 2015

[ Tags: , , ]       Permalink: https://wondermark.com/c/1125/

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My newest game: Noodle Battle! At PAX!

September 2, 2026 by David Malki !

The past few weeks have been a frenzy of assembling the very laborious, very bespoke first print run of NOODLE BATTLE, the puzzle game I am releasing this weekend at PAX West in Seattle!

PAX has an event called the PNW Tabletop Game Market (Saturday night ONLY), which is a curated selection of short-run games from local designers. As I’ve mentioned in this space before, I applied for a space in this fall’s event mainly as a way to force myself to finish a new game. And here it is!

The drawings are all by Jason Poland, good pal and cartoonist of My Dad Is Dracula. Jason played an early version of this game at Alaska Robotics Comics Camp this spring, and really liked it!

So I said, “Do you want to help me make it?” And so he has! It was his idea to make all the characters fun little animals, and I think it adds a ton of charm.

Because this edition is limited-run, it has been incredibly labor-intensive to make! The boxes and cards were made by a game factory in the usual fashion, but separately. The blank tiles were made by a woodworker dude out of Connecticut. For each game, we have had to:

  • Cut a piece of plastic and install the box window
  • Paint all the tiles, hundreds at a time
  • Apply a sticker to both sides of every tile
  • Apply stickers to the box (we couldn’t get the box back printed in time, so the whole back side of the box is a sticker too)
  • Apply the “Nutrition Facts” sticker, which was a late suggestion by my kid that I just had to run with
  • Fold up the rule sheet (they come from the printer as big strips of paper)
  • Put all the components into the box and seal it all up

I knew it would be a lot of work and would require some inefficient, expensive compromises AND I WAS RIGHT. But the final product is turning out great, which is the important thing!!

I will have 50 copies with me (if all goes well) at PAX, and then between now and the holidays we will be putting together additional copies to round out this first edition.

I will announce additional copies on Patreon first, once they are available online!! And here too, naturally, before long.

You can also sign up here if you’d like me to email you once the game is available online!


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