Comic Transcripts

[[An upset-looking individual accosts a custodian, who is holding a mop above a bucket.]]
Pedestrian: Excuse me! EXCUSE ME! The FLOOR is WET!
Custodian: Well, I’m… mopping?
Pedestrian: WELL, if I had walked OVER it, I might have fallen!

Pedestrian: What if I didn’t see the puddle? What if my arms had been full of GROCERIES, or I had been DISTRACTED by talking on the phone? I could have been SERIOUSLY HURT!

Custodian: Yes — but — none of those things happened
Pedestrian: What if this water had been GASOLINE? And I had been SMOKING?
Pedestrian: WHAT if it had BEEN a FOOT-DEEP POOL of GASOLINE?

Pedestrian: What if it was an elaborate series of GASOLINE CANALS spelling out RACIAL SLURS?
Pedestrian: What a DISGRACE. You DISGUST me.
Custodian: If ANYTHING was a foot-deep gasoline canal spelling out racial slurs, it’d be disgusting. The same would be true of your LIVING ROOM.

Custodian: But… since it’s not… it’s NOT?
Pedestrian: If this entire STREET were filled with gigantic birds bellowing demonic squawks with their FEATHERS on fire, I — I just don’t know what I’d do. I’d FREAK out.

Pedestrian: I’d probably DIE. I’d die RIGHT HERE on the sidewalk. I’M ALLERGIC TO FEATHERS!!
Custodian: Okay, hold on just a second, now I’m taking notes

{{header: trip over WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: dear mr malki, if you were to replace ‘mopping’ in this comic with running for french parliament, well, you can see how the logic completely falls apart}}

#1124; Mind the Everything transcribed by in

[[An upset-looking individual accosts a custodian, who is holding a mop above a bucket.]]
Pedestrian: Excuse me! EXCUSE ME! The FLOOR is WET!
Custodian: Well, I'm... mopping?
Pedestrian: WELL, if I had walked OVER it, I might have fallen!

Pedestrian: What if I didn't see the puddle? What if my arms had been full of GROCERIES, or I had been DISTRACTED by talking on the phone? I could have been SERIOUSLY HURT!

Custodian: Yes -- but -- none of those things happened
Pedestrian: What if this water had been GASOLINE? And I had been SMOKING?
Pedestrian: WHAT if it had BEEN a FOOT-DEEP POOL of GASOLINE?

Pedestrian: What if it was an elaborate series of GASOLINE CANALS spelling out RACIAL SLURS?
Pedestrian: What a DISGRACE. You DISGUST me.
Custodian: If ANYTHING was a foot-deep gasoline canal spelling out racial slurs, it'd be disgusting. The same would be true of your LIVING ROOM.

Custodian: But... since it's not... it's NOT?
Pedestrian: If this entire STREET were filled with gigantic birds bellowing demonic squawks with their FEATHERS on fire, I -- I just don't know what I'd do. I'd FREAK out.

Pedestrian: I'd probably DIE. I'd die RIGHT HERE on the sidewalk. I'M ALLERGIC TO FEATHERS!!
Custodian: Okay, hold on just a second, now I'm taking notes

{{header: trip over WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: dear mr malki, if you were to replace 'mopping' in this comic with running for french parliament, well, you can see how the logic completely falls apart}}

dear mr malki, if you were to replace 'mopping' in this comic with running for french parliament, well, you can see how the logic completely falls apart

#1124; Mind the Everything

  — May 12th, 2015

[ Tags: , ]       Permalink: https://wondermark.com/c/1124/

Buy a Print

New ways to get Bolted!

July 24, 2026 by David Malki !

In addition to buying things directly from me, the normal way, my game Bolted! is also now available on Amazon dot com.

On that famous website, you can also get the Creature-Crafting Magnets Set, which is made of the same artwork from the game, but is just a weird little trinket (not a playable game).

My kiddo made the elaborate version below to show off just how many magnets you get in the set (it’s 150 pieces in all — this isn’t even all of them).

Also now on Amazon is my set of Multi-Purpose Greeting Cards — a full dozen cards with envelopes in a fancy, unbranded, foil-stamped box!

Event alert!

I’ll also be showing off Bolted! at Greenwood Games, an event in Seattle this Saturday:

Greenwood Games is a free, all-ages community game event that invites players to spend the afternoon walking Greenwood Avenue from 65th to 80th, collecting clues, cracking puzzles, and discovering games made right here in Washington.

Think of it as Pride Hop, ArtWalk, and the Gumshoe all rolled into one,  except the whole thing is built around games and puzzles.​

Local game designers will be set up at different places along Greenwood Avenue in Phinney Ridge (near Ballard). My specific spot will be the “Holy Mountain Phinney Ridge Taproom”. All the information about all the different games & venues is on the website!

(If you’re in Seattle generally but not free tomorrow, Bolted! is also stocked at Blue Highway Games in Queen Anne.)

Next week, I’ll be at Gen Con! I personally will be hanging with my buddy Sam Logan at BFE Webcomics, booth #1217… but I have it on good authority that copies of Bolted! will be available at the CRWN Studios booth, #2549.

Visit one booth! Then the other! The order…is up to you.


Recent blog posts