Comic Transcripts

[[A shady-looking computer repair technician is investigating a bluescreened computer, while a confused user looks on.]]
Technician: Well, HERE’S your problem. Your Windows mainframe hasn’t been updated in so long, you’re starting to see a lot of FIREWIRE around the modem pins.

User: Is that… bad?
Technician: It’s pretty serious. Your dongle’s totally rebooted. Might need to reblog it in a tumblr.
Technician: I can try redditing your drive disks. Were you backing up your processor?

User: I’m… not sure… someone always took care of that for us.
Technician: Problem is, we’re on Web 2.0 now, and you’re still running 1.6. Have been for some time.
Technician: 1.6!!

User: Is that not good?
Technician: Well, in layman’s terms, you’ve heard of cookies? YOURS have gone HARD.
Technician: Don’t really work as SOFTWARE anymore, heh heh heh
User: Uh, HA HA HA

Technician: I may need to defragment the whole disqus, and THAT unfortunately ain’t cheap.
Technician: You really need to be changing the spam filter every 3,000 pagviews. Yours is FULL of webcrawlers.

[[A coupon for “Snake Coil Computer Maintenance” is displayed, with the motto “WE find the problems the competition hasn’t even HEARD of”. The coupon is good for “20% off any rebuilt startup accelerator”.]]

{{header: fix up your WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: Take this thing back to Gateway, and you’re talkin at least four grand for them to bleed the cache. Me, I’d do it for ya for twenty five hunnerd}}

#1117; The Computer Mechanic transcribed by in

[[A shady-looking computer repair technician is investigating a bluescreened computer, while a confused user looks on.]]
Technician: Well, HERE’S your problem. Your Windows mainframe hasn’t been updated in so long, you’re starting to see a lot of FIREWIRE around the modem pins.

User: Is that… bad?
Technician: It’s pretty serious. Your dongle’s totally rebooted. Might need to reblog it in a tumblr.
Technician: I can try redditing your drive disks. Were you backing up your processor?

User: I’m… not sure… someone always took care of that for us.
Technician: Problem is, we’re on Web 2.0 now, and you’re still running 1.6. Have been for some time.
Technician: 1.6!!

User: Is that not good?
Technician: Well, in layman’s terms, you’ve heard of cookies? YOURS have gone HARD.
Technician: Don’t really work as SOFTWARE anymore, heh heh heh
User: Uh, HA HA HA

Technician: I may need to defragment the whole disqus, and THAT unfortunately ain’t cheap.
Technician: You really need to be changing the spam filter every 3,000 pagviews. Yours is FULL of webcrawlers.

[[A coupon for “Snake Coil Computer Maintenance” is displayed, with the motto “WE find the problems the competition hasn’t even HEARD of”. The coupon is good for “20% off any rebuilt startup accelerator”.]]

{{header: fix up your WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: Take this thing back to Gateway, and you’re talkin at least four grand for them to bleed the cache. Me, I’d do it for ya for twenty five hunnerd}}

#1117; The Computer Mechanic transcribed by in

[[A shady-looking computer repair technician is investigating a bluescreened computer, while a confused user looks on.]]
Technician: Well, HERE'S your problem. Your Windows mainframe hasn't been updated in so long, you're starting to see a lot of FIREWIRE around the modem pins.

User: Is that... bad?
Technician: It's pretty serious. Your dongle's totally rebooted. Might need to reblog it in a tumblr.
Technician: I can try redditing your drive disks. Were you backing up your processor?

User: I'm... not sure... someone always took care of that for us.
Technician: Problem is, we're on Web 2.0 now, and you're still running 1.6. Have been for some time.
Technician: 1.6!!

User: Is that not good?
Technician: Well, in layman's terms, you've heard of cookies? YOURS have gone HARD.
Technician: Don't really work as SOFTWARE anymore, heh heh heh
User: Uh, HA HA HA

Technician: I may need to defragment the whole disqus, and THAT unfortunately ain't cheap.
Technician: You really need to be changing the spam filter every 3,000 pagviews. Yours is FULL of webcrawlers.

[[A coupon for "Snake Coil Computer Maintenance" is displayed, with the motto "WE find the problems the competition hasn't even HEARD of". The coupon is good for "20% off any rebuilt startup accelerator".]]

{{header: fix up your WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: Take this thing back to Gateway, and you're talkin at least four grand for them to bleed the cache. Me, I'd do it for ya for twenty five hunnerd}}

Take this thing back to Gateway, and you're talkin at least four grand for them to bleed the cache. Me, I'd do it for ya for twenty five hunnerd

#1117; The Computer Mechanic

  — April 17th, 2015

[ Tags: , , ]       Permalink: https://wondermark.com/c/1117/

Thanks to Sara McHenry for “Snake Coil”! Also:

SNAKE COIL

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Bolted! Shipping is UNDERWAY

April 4, 2026 by David Malki !

Bolted! games have been shipping to backers over the last couple of weeks! The non-US orders are (mostly) done and some folks have been reporting receiving them already!

@davidmalki.com My game arrived today!! It looks gorgeous 🙂 Hope you are well 🙂

[image or embed]

— Lar deSouza (@lartist.bsky.social) April 2, 2026 at 2:52 PM

My US inventory of games is now in-country, but still being staged at the fulfillment centers. It’s being distributed to regional warehouses, so the actual shipping to backers happens more efficiently. I hope the bulk of US shipping will start next week.

These are what the cartons (and games) look like!

bolted! games BOLTED! GAMES (pounding the table) B O L T E D ! G A M E S

[image or embed]

— david malki ! (@davidmalki.com) April 3, 2026 at 10:37 AM

I am also waiting on the bonus cards to be finished printing! I ended up needing many more of those than I had anticipated, so I decided to have the game factory print those too, for perfect matching with the base game cards.

Most people will be receiving two separate mailings: the game itself, and “anything else” (bonus cards and/or add-ons) which will be sent by me personally.

As of today, 86% of backers have completed their surveys so far! That’s pretty good, but it’s not everyone. I know YOU PERSONALLY have already completed YOURS though, so no worries!!

We have now moved OFF of Kickstarter and ONTO BackerKit for any new orders. You can bundle a game with basically anything else I sell on that there website, it’s pretty nuts!


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